The Private School Leader Podcast

Sometimes I think that adults and children aren't all that different. Kids and adults both crave predictability and support, but we also like to have fun. Adults want people to listen to us when we talk. Kids do too. Adults are happiest when we feel safe. That's true for kids too. You may have heard of The 4 S's of Secure Attachment , by Daniel Siegel, as explained in his book The Power of Showing...

Zelmyra and Herbert grew up as best friends in rural North Carolina. The fell in love and got married on May 13, 1924 86 years and 290 days later, Herbert passed away in 2011. Zelmyra and Herbert Fisher hold the Guinness World Record for the longest marriage ever! Their marriage held up through “the Great Depression, World War II, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, the Civil Rights Movement and 15 p...

Have you ever made a decision that you looked back on and asked yourself, “What was I thinking?” I don’t know about you, but that has definitely happened to me and it is definitely not a good feeling. In the moment, we thought that we were making an informed, logical decision that was just dripping with common sense.  But there is a reason that they say “hindsight is 20/20” and some of our de...

Why do people do what they do?  What drives behavior?  Why do some people train for a marathon for a year and then run it? Why do some people go to jobs that they hate, year after year for 50 years? Why do some people, in the same organization, work really hard, while others do as little as possible? Why do people do what they do?  One word: motivation. During the industrial age, pe...

As private school leaders we do a great job remembering certain things. We can remember the names of all of the kids in our school. We can remember a complicated bell schedule. We can even remember when the 3rd Grade teacher’s mom is having surgery. Unfortunately, we also have a really hard time remembering other things. We forget to take care of ourselves. We forget that we don’t have to get it r...

I want to tell you something that not too many people know about me. When I first went to college, I earned an Associate’s Degree in Business administration. Freshman year was when I got my lowest grade in all of my years of college: a D in Accounting 101. Not great. My weakest areas as a school leader are probably Finance and Budget Creation. Don’t get me wrong, I can get by. I made it work for 2...

I want to preview today’s episode by sharing a quote and a definition. The quote: George Bernard Shaw once said: “ The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” The definition: Il·lu·sion ( /iˈlo͞oZH(ə)n/) noun a thing that is or is likely to be wrongly perceived or interpreted by the senses. We’ve all been there. We wrap up a meeting with a parent or a teac...

I love year end top 10 lists! This doesn’t happen as much anymore, but magazines like People and Newsweek used to come out with a special edition in mid-December.  This special issue would feature the Top 10 in everything! Top 10 TV shows, movies, songs, athletes, movie stars, cars, teams, trends, words, etc. of that year. For many years, I would get one or two of these in my stocking on Chri...

Do you believe that the Earth is flat? I can hear what you are saying: “Mark, I'm a college graduate. I am an educator. I have common sense. NO, I don't believe the Earth is flat!” Just to be clear,  I don’t believe the Earth is flat either. We’ve all heard of “flat-earthers” or The Flat Earth Society. I have always thought that this was probably a few thousand misinformed people in the world...

I’ve never really been a fan of crossword puzzles or Sudoku or riddles. Maybe that’s because I solve problems all day long and I would rather not do it recreationally. That said, I have a riddle for you: I can't be saved, Though people try. When fun is had, They say I fly. They say I'm money: I can be spent, I can be wasted, But never lent. So, what’s the answer? Time. We all wish that we had more...

I want to tell you a secret about the parents at your school. Over the last 32 years, I have had thousands of meetings with parents. Many were in my office or on the phone, but some were on the bleachers in the Gym, in the staff parking lot or in the lobby of the school’s auditorium. My sample size of parent meetings is large. During those thousands of meetings, I have come to realize that, about...

“Cigarette smoking is no more ‘addictive’ than coffee, tea or Twinkies.” —James W. Johnston, CEO of R.J. Reynolds Nabisco, April 14, 1994 before Congress “I can say categorically that… no one in the White House staff, no one in this administration, presently employed, was involved in this very bizarre incident.” —President Richard Nixon, discussing the Watergate burglary, August 29, 1972 These two...

I was never really a big fan of Superman. I was more of a Spiderman fan when I was a kid. Of course, Spiderman was actually Peter Parker. A nerdy kid from Queens that was always studying for a test, was usually broke and had a girlfriend. He was relatable and flawed. I like my superheroes to have flaws. On the other hand, Superman was an alien from another planet. He always did the right thing and...

When I was a kid, I used to LOVE it when it snowed. Snow days, sledding, building a snowman. So much fun! But, when I turned 16, my love affair with snow ended. That’s because I had to start driving in the white stuff. When you have a good set of snow tires and front wheel (or all wheel) drive, you can go pretty much anywhere. But, if you have a set of tires with no tread, you are going to have a...

It was a Wednesday morning and I couldn’t get out of bed. I don’t mean that I was tired and didn’t FEEL like getting out of bed. I mean that I couldn’t get out of bed. I was overwhelmed and discouraged and felt a little hopeless. I felt like giving up. I didn’t go to work that day. BUT…. I did go to work the next day and the day after that. We’ve all been there. We have all felt like giving up. Ov...

OK, I’ll admit it. This is one of the strangest episode titles that I have had on the podcast so far. I know that a lot of us roll our eyes when we hear the term “social media influencer” , because we think that term describes a lazy person who makes a lot of money for doing nothing. That might be true for some influencers, but I want to make sure that you don’t miss the point. Leadership is about...

Would you hang out with people that talk to you the way that you talk to yourself? Stop and think about your self-talk. How do you talk to yourself when you mess up at work? How do you talk to yourself when you let work take priority over your family? My self-talk used to be bad. I have said all of these things to myself: You are a loser.” “You really have no idea what you're doing.” “You are a te...

Over the last 32 years, I’ve read a lot of great leadership books. In fact, I made a Top 10 list of leadership books and you can check those out at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/top10 #4 on that list is Atomic Habits by James Clear . This is a very special book and a very important book for private school leaders. James Clear’s book emphasizes the importance of small, consistent, incremental prog...

There are two kinds of people in your life.  If you just ate lunch and you are on your way to lead an important meeting, there are the kind of people that will tell you that you have broccoli in your teeth. And then there are the people that see the broccoli in your teeth and don’t say a word. I am a person that is going to tell you that you have broccoli in your teeth.  Sometimes that m...

Think back to when you were a kid. What was something that you looked forward to with great anticipation? For me it was Christmas morning and my 16th birthday. I remember when I was 6 years old, I knew that I was getting a new bike for Christmas and I literally could not wait.  I also remember how badly I wanted to get my driver’s license when I turned 16. The year between my 15th and 16th bi...

I am old enough to remember using a road map to get where I was going. Yes, I am talking about the impossible to fold map that lived in the glove compartment! In the 90’s I graduated to MapQuest and clearly remember driving to Ocean City, New Jersey with my wife reading pages and pages of directions to help us get to the beach. Now we have GPS and I love it so much! I can even choose a voice with...

I want you to take a moment and notice the title of this week’s episode. The title is NOT : “5 Strategies To Be More Extroverted As An Introverted Leader” The title is NOT : “4 Ways You Can Come Out Of Your Shell As An Introverted Leader” If you are an introvert, you do not need to “be fixed”. You do not need to “overcome” being an introvert. You don’t need to “come out of your shell” to successfu...

“Rise and grind.” “I’ve got a dream that is more important than sleep.” “I pledge allegiance to the grind.” What do these “motivational” quotes have in common? They glamorize a very dangerous thing called “hustle culture” . Don’t get me wrong, an incredible work ethic is necessary to be a successful private school leader. But, hustle culture crosses the line from hard work to shaming someone for g...

I am not an expert on grief. I am not a therapist. Everyone experiences grief and loss differently. I am NOT going to tell you how YOU should lead your school while dealing with loss. I am just going to share my experience. In May of 2017, my sister Cathy died from breast cancer. In late June of 2018, my twin sister Ruth died from breast cancer. One week later, my father-in-law passed away. In Feb...

The date was December 29, 1972. It was shortly before midnight and it was a warm night in Miami. Family and friends waited inside the terminal for Eastern Airlines flight 401 out of JFK Airport in New York City. The 163 passengers were looking forward to celebrating New Year’s Eve in Miami with family and friends. What happened over the next few minutes would change aviation history forever. What...