The Pressures of Privilege

The following letter is addressed to "Charlotte," a composite character drawn from several people in my life. Their shared experiences illustrate a particular challenge of privilege: the pursuit of global mobility and tax optimization that can inadvertently lead to a sense of rootlessness. While Charlotte herself is not a single individual, the patterns and struggles depicted here are very real—re...

We all have biases, whether we realize it or not. Sometimes they lurk beneath the surface—implicit biases. Other times, we bend over backward to avoid bias so much that we swing too far—overcorrection bias. My own experiences with being scammed—twice—illustrate how either extreme can lead us astray. I lost money because I didn't want to seem prejudiced. It's a cautionary tale for anyone who's ever...

We’re obsessed with the future. We want more money, more success, more clients, more sex—more, more, more. Happiness is always just around the corner. We think,  if only I were 10 pounds lighter, or if I had that extra $100K in monthly revenue, or if my ex finally realized I was right about everything, I’d… As a coach, my entire mandate is helping clients get from where they are today to where the...

In this powerful episode, we sit down with Elwood Dasher, whose remarkable journey from addiction to recovery embodies the transformative power of love and second chances. For nearly 35 years, Elwood has maintained sobriety after hitting rock bottom with a crack cocaine addiction that began when he was just a child. Growing up in New Jersey as the youngest of seven children, Elwood describes a mot...

What draws us to certain people or opportunities? Is it flashy advertising or persistent selling? It’s neither. True attraction is something more fundamental. It’s magnetic. It pulls us toward those people or opportunities naturally, without manipulation. It generates the kind of curiosity that makes you want to read every book in a particular section in a bookstore. One definition I particularly...

Most people are running on fumes. Their reserve tanks are empty. And I’m talking about all kinds of tanks: Human : Only  12.2 percent  of American adults are metabolically healthy; nearly  one third  feel lonely; and over  75 percent  report experiencing at least one stress symptom in the last month. Intellectual : The  US ranks  36th in literacy in the world. I hear kids don’t read books anymore...

"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way," wrote Viktor Frankl in his seminal work "Man's Search for Meaning." He knew the depths of human suffering firsthand, having endured three years across four Nazi concentration camps. During this ordeal, he observed a tragic pattern:...

"You have plenty of money. Why are you trying to make more?" This question—posed to me recently by someone whose opinion I value—led me to think about human flourishing, virtue, and the nature of happiness itself. Just yesterday, I found myself absorbed in editing a newsletter for our charitable foundation, feeling a surge of excitement as I worked to make it readable, fun, and informative. This s...

In my younger years, any mention of emotions, self-help, or personal development was met with ridicule. Years later, when I lived in Switzerland, telling someone I saw a therapist was tantamount to announcing I belonged in a mental asylum. Yet mentioning a visit to the local pastor was perfectly acceptable. Investing in personal growth was never prioritized—unlike financial assets or intellectual...

One of my life's biggest breakthroughs came as a result of problems. Due to a misinterpretation of a legal document, I was denied trust income and employment at my family’s real estate business, making me the outlier—the only one out of a dozen individuals—excluded from financial support. The consequence? I threw myself into journalism. Years later, the breakthrough arrived. The skills I had accum...

The other day, one of my clients admitted he was afraid he felt vulnerable and defenseless in the event armed robbers invaded his property. When he said this, I thought about the execution of the nobility during the French Revolution, the Bolshevik slaughter of the Romanov family, and the hushed up murder of the 84-year-old widow of the painter Wassily Kandinsky in Gstaad. In our times, I have to...

"This village can be a gilded cage," the pastor said. She sat in my living room in the Swiss Alps, holding a mug of warm herbal tea. It had been an intense but liberating hour. I had been sharing my fifth step—a part of the recovery process—a kind of confession delving into one’s moral inventory, focusing on resentments, the causes, how we were affected, our part in each cause, and our fears. When...

Happy New Year! The following post was not easy to write because some of it triggered troubling memories and filled me with fear. Yet these are stories that need to be told—stories about addiction, privilege, and the price of keeping up appearances. During this past holiday season, I discovered Wim Wenders' film " Perfect Days ." It’s the story of Hirayama, a Tokyo toilet cleaner who escaped his f...

In college, I loved reading Thomas Mann's "Clothes Make the Man." This short story follows a character who, by wearing elegant clothes, is mistaken for a nobleman. But his charade unravels, and he’s humiliated when his true identity is revealed. Ironically, I lived the inverse while living in the Swiss Alps: I wore trekking clothes and tried to hide any signs of wealth to avoid judgment. The fear...

The aroma of oatmeal wafted in the air filling me with a sense of safety. Cheng’s carefully set breakfast table reflected her approach to everything she did—meticulous care, whether it was folding our clothes or making meals. While many of my peers saw their nannies come and go, Cheng stayed. She became our rock: a constant, reassuring presence, and a stern taskmaster. I am convinced she's the rea...

I remember sitting around the dinner table one Christmas, back when our family still gathered for the holidays, before the big court case that ended all that. "It takes one generation to make it, one to spend it, and one to lose it," my uncle said, his voice carrying the weight of experience. The table fell silent. At the time, I thought my uncle had created our wealth. Later, I learned that he ha...

When I told my mother I was going to rename this blog, “The Pressures of Privilege” and start writing about money, she shuddered. In families like mine, talking about money is taboo—yet it remains central to our lives, often cloaked in terms like "legacy," quietly dictating our choices, relationships, and responsibilities. Why this change?  Since returning to Rhode Island from Switzerland, I've fe...

Jürg Matti is a former professional skier and snowboarder who became a successful coach for the Swiss National Snowboard team. He led athletes to 17 medals, including Olympic triumphs. Jürg was a founding member of the Swiss Snowboard Association and played a crucial role in the sport's development and inclusion in the Olympics. What we learned: Jürg's career transition from athlete to coach, and...

Nathan Brujis, a celebrated artist born in Lima, Peru, shares his journey in art and personal growth. He discusses his early exposure to art through his mother, his academic pursuits in art and philosophy, and his evolving approach to creativity and authenticity. Nathan emphasizes the importance of being true to oneself, seeking counsel, and maintaining humility in both art and life. In this episo...

Luis Fonseca , a decorated Navy corpsman and recipient of the prestigious Navy Cross. Luis' heroic actions in the line of duty have saved many, many, many lives, and his story is one of extraordinary bravery and dedication. Nate Emery , a 22 year Marine veteran with Combat Tours and Operation Desert Storm and Operation Restore Hope in Mogadishu, Somalia. Nate has dedicated himself to bridging the...

The conversation covers the themes of restoring real relationships, complexities of relationships, consciousness, self-discipline, mental health impacts on relationships, coaching, addiction, trauma, and the state of drug treatment and care. Dr. Bob shares his personal journey, his work in recovery, and his views on the current state of addiction treatment and care. Diana Oehrli shares her journey...