The Political Orphanage

Standup comedian Jaron Myers joins Heaton for Friday Release Valve, covering absurd headlines throughout the week, including a petition to sell Montana to Canada, and France's newest official sport.

The biggest problem with the Academy Awards is: not enough trophies. Comedian and Hollywood insider Andrew Young joins Heaton to suggest new category awards, like "Best Fake Accent" or "Most Tasteful Sex Scene." Plus, a new "How to with Heaton: Balancing a Checkbook."

"The Twilight Zone" has it all: Cold War hysteria, gremlins, conformity and individualism, robots, totalitarianism, witches—the list goes on. Heaton brings on comedian James III to discuss one of the greatest programs to ever grace television.

Standup and transgender comedian Carina Magyar joins Heaton to discuss the military ban, the difference between the "yuck" and "kill" factors, and the interplay between biology and psychology in gender dysphoria.

Lauren Chen, host of "Roaming Millennial Uncensored," joins Heaton to map out how conservatives in their twenties think, and how the political landscape will change as they come into their own. Plus, Heaton's producer Jennings contacts several of Heaton's ex-girlfriends to solicit listener feedback about the show.

Heaton's personal hero, Prince Leonard, passed away this week, after a storied history of fighting in World War II, declaring independence from Australia, and thwarting an onerous wheat quota. In a special tribute episode, Heaton goes over the life of Australia's homegrown monarch.

Bridget Phetasy is a former Playboy Advisor, and presently a writer and standup comedian. Also, she was in a sex cult. Heaton talks to her about dating advice, but mostly, about what it's like to be in a sex cult, and if he should visit one on his next vacation.

Is the patriarchy the Illuminati with gonads? Where is all the anti-maleness and anti-feminism originating? How do we position ourselves in yon slap fight? Cathy Reisenwitz writes at "Sex and the State" and is a columnist at the Bay City Beacon. She joins Heaton to jump into the issue of feminism, sex positivity, and when claiming injustice becomes a competition.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez revealed the New Green Deal to Congress last week, designed to radically overhaul and control the US economy, fight climate change, and raise Heaton's blood pressure to staggering heights. Brian Brushwood joins the program to calm Heaton down and explain how AOC is actually progressivism's response to Donald Trump. Later, Heaton reveals a new cooking segment with a special...

Despite what you may think, Americans are having less sex today than in previous eras. Billy Binion of Reason comes on to make sense of America's laggardly sex life. (Then afterwards, Heaton adds to the growing chorus of Virginia politicians scandals, and begs forgiveness from his audience for a horrible faux pas.)

In a Friday grab bag episode, comedian Jimmy Failla comes on to suss out headlines with Heaton. Including: why Thai parliament candidates are changing their names; the world's most conscientious burglar, the latest Burger King lawsuit; and why you can legally watch erotic films on library computers in Chicago. 

What is Postmodernism and why do so many people loathe it? Reason's Nick Gillespie joins Heaton to explain what postmodernism is, where it's useful and when it's asinine, and the many instances where postmodernism has spread through American culture.

Heaton comes up with ways to improve the State of the Union Address, including a mandated congressional conga line, and presidential crowd surfing. But before that, Justin Robert Young of the "Politics Politics Politics" podcast joins Heaton for a breakdown of the speech, what all the guests signified, and how heckling the Hall of Presidents can improve any trip to Disney World.

Several states are eyeballing "Bible literacy" classes as part of public school curriculum. Jonathan Braylock, a comedian and a practicing Christian, joins Heaton to discuss how blurring the separation of church and state is apt to backfire on both. 

Heaton unleashes a tirade about football, and what he'd do to improve it. (Hint: it involves horses.) Then he invites on Reason's Eric Boehm to discuss stadium subsidies, and the graft and incompetency which keeps taxpayers on the hook for millions. Heaton also determines which NFL team to endorse based entirely on the one not taking handouts.

Sebastian Junger is the author of "Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging." He joins Heaton to talk about how the world we've made is ill-fitting and alienating to the hunter-gatherer genes we've inherited, and what you can do to feel less lonely in the twenty-first century.

Former Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz is thinking about running for president, which has enraged the Democratic party. Comedian Turner Sparks joins to explain why, and Heaton details the single issue Schultz can push to make him relevant as an outsider. Plus, Heaton makes an impassioned speech about why he would make a fantastic ambassador.

Reason's Elizabeth Nolan Brown joins Heaton to explain why porn is legal but prostitution is not, how the Internet can replace pimps, and the general benefits of decriminalizing sex work.

Venezuela's economy hit rock bottom, then just kept digging straight to the septic tank. Now there are rival presidents vying for power over a starving populace. Magician and deputized foreign policy expert Brian Brushwood joins Heaton to assess the once-wealthy nation's plunge into full-blown socialism and economic collapse. 

Comedy writer J. W. Crump joins Heaton to discuss irritating things the media does, the difference between diversity and tokenism in reporting, and what to do about all that bias lurking beneath the surface.  

Tom Woods, historian and podcaster extraordinaire, joins Heaton for a philosophical romp through the Enlightenment. By focusing on "spontaneous order" and how the concept has redefined power and civilization, you'll get ample evidence for why we'll never need a Federal Department of Shoes, a President of Physics, or a National Podcasting Commissar. 

Prince Philip is the husband of Queen Elizabeth II and is also worshiped as a volcano god by a small island in the Pacific. Comedian Chad Prather joins Heaton to go over his biography, and get to know everyone's favorite 97-year-old royal.

Self-described "flaming liberal writer" John DeVore joins Heaton to describe the internal makeup of the Democratic Party, and the factions within vying for power. They also get into tribalism, why markets are awesome, and why Heaton thinks socialism prolonged the Great Depression.

Socialism has returned to America in the form of a crotchety senator from Vermont and a vivacious young lady from the Bronx. Liz Wolfe, managing editor at The Federalist and Playboy contributor, joins Heaton to discuss the more egregious aspects of AOC's policy proposals, and the irritating potshots her detractors make instead of solid arguments.

America briefly considered firebombing Kentucky this weekend after video of a sixteen-year-old smirking at a Native American elder showed a hateful display of racism and bullying. However it turns out that the three minute video is selectively taken from two hours of additional footage, which tells a different story. Congressman Thomas Massie of Kentucky joins Heaton to correct the record.