The Pilot’s Wife - Long-Term Relationship Tips With Amy McLaren

When couples seek counselling for help with their communication, they often think they aren't communicating effectively. Amy proposes they are communicating fine, it's just that they each don't like the message their partner is sending. Listen to this episode for tips on communicating at a different level than the default, all inspired by the help Amy and Josh sought and received when struggling w...

A storm occurred in Amy and Josh's marriage last week and Amy comes clean about what happened, and how she dealt with it, without being a doormat!   Amy bares her emotions and shares honestly about her raw reaction to a misunderstanding, and learns a big lesson at the end.

A tough topic, but listen to this episode for some tips you won't hear much anywhere else. :)

What does the true meaning of marriage have to do with sitting in a dark carpark at the beach while Josh feeds and bathes the kids and puts them to bed? Listen to this episode to hear Amy's cheeky explanation of her sneaky solo-outing, and how she uses it to illustrate a core truth about marriage relationships.

Things have been hectic in Amy's world, especially with school holidays happening and Josh having completed a week's work in his new Construction Project Manager role. The home responsibilities have ramped up. And there are ongoing sagas with the magazine website not working again and no one being able to fix it so far... So Amy just wanted to chill for this podcast episode. She cues up some chill...

Amy takes a swallow of her own medicine and listens to her own advice in the latest episode of The Pilot's Wife. She goes deeper into a concept mentioned in the previous episode (#27) about assessing the risk in any given decision to decide whether to take the risk or not. This method is super simple and exceptionally effective for making good decisions you will not regret.

Especially in the current environment, there are many things that seem to be outside of our control to do with challenges, change and routines. What % of each of these things do you see in your lives? Because if we are unhappy with the proportion of certain things in our lives, we get stressed. And that doesn't usually bode well for the people closest to us. In this episode Amy takes a look at the...

In the final part of a two-part series on Problem Solving, Amy gets into the nitty gritty. This is all about the things to say, how to say them, and what to look for to find the answers you both haven't been able to get so far. If you want to be a boss when it comes to resolving conflict and solving relationship issues, this episode is a must to listen to! www.nomythmarriages.com/married

If you've been listening for a while, you would have noticed Amy talks about problem solving in marriage A LOT. In this episode, the first of a 2-part series, Amy gives you the strategies and tactics for preparing to sit down and solve a problem with your spouse. If you want to have a successful session of problem solving, where the problem actually gets resolved, there is a little bit of prep you...

If you were having trouble in your relationship, would your family tell you to work it through with your partner? Chances are in the NZ culture, they would probably tell you something like "you shouldn't have to put up with that!". There are two problems with this: 1. They are biased  2. They are usually not qualified to advise you on how to resolve your relationship issue Amy uses a slightly snea...

When we face great pressures, the most common reaction is to get angry. How are we supposed to deal with anger from the person we love, when anger is such an unloveable thing to have to respond to? What if it is getting out of hand, and we're getting tired of the anger spewing out too often? Don't worry! Here are some concrete strategies for responding that Amy and Josh have been practising for th...

In this episode Amy describes detail never before shared about their struggles to have children, and the choice to move ahead with their second-top goal of building a house. After which they finally became pregnant. She tells of problems with their house build, and the crazy times of having no other choice but to live in the house they were building, while it was unfinished (no plumbing) with an u...

After filming their online course, in this episode Amy goes back to one of the topics covered in the course - money. She adds more detail about the quote from Tim Ferris, author of The 4-Hour Work Week: "In part, it’s laziness. “If only I had more money” is the easiest way to postpone the intense self-examination and decision- making necessary to create a life of enjoyment – now and not later..."...

Did you know that the average married couple spends about 20 minutes PER WEEK talking? But conversations with each other build closeness, which is what provides the most enriching relationship possible. Discover the REAL TRUTH behind three popular myths that we think block us from have regular, rewarding conversations with our spouse.

If we get stuck in a funk in our relationships, what are some things we can do to get ourselves out of it? That is, things that we have control over? For some of us, that might be to try and find something funny to laugh about, since laughing is a fantastic medicine. Amy goes on a journey of discovery to find some really good marriage and relationships jokes, and along the way discusses some reall...

Has your spouse ever kept doing something that annoys you, even though they know it annoys you? To the point where you're so over it, you wonder if they're the right person for you after all? In this episode Amy takes tips from an Iceberg to describe what might really be going on, and provides some tips to save you on both energy and bad feelings!

If you're almost 14 years' married with two kids does that make you an old married couple? Amy's husband Josh would say "Affirm" (pilot speak) but essentially, yes she thinks that qualifies them for the role of dating guide for other "old married couples". This episode contains some background context including sibling fights, spa pools, and changing peoples' jobs on them, before Amy comes to the...

If you've ever watched a boy play something where they win, or achieve the outcome they intended, you'll notice their response almost sounds like bragging... Husbands are naturally good at confidence, and it serves a few important purposes. Wives who are aware of this and want the outcomes it can produce, might want to make sure to encourage their husbands in every opportunity to do something they...

When it comes to making a relationship harmonious without being a doormat, wives are by nature, very good at this. However if females get stuck in 'doing' mode, we don't have time to get into 'being' mode, being GOOD at relationships, which is where we are at our best, and where we are the experts as opposed to the males in the house. When relationships are faltering in the household, we as female...

There was once this evil king... with an even more evil mother... and there was a sister who had a good husband, who made a big plan. Have you ever been part of a big plan and been so invigorated, so excited, and felt so in tune with everyone else who was in on the big plan? Amy tells a story or two in this episode to illustrate how making a big plan with your spouse can bring back your mojo, and...

Have you ever done something really stupid, that you know is bad, to do with your relationship? Maybe you've said some really nasty things because you were stressed, or ignored them when they needed you, or even worse? In this episode Amy describes some awful behaviour she was guilty of and how she figured out a fast comeback, involving something as easy as - turning back around!

If you've never done a personality test before, or it's been a long time since, this episode is for you. Not only is there value in knowing what type of personality you tend towards, it's also very helpful to understand your partner's type as well. The two reasons are 1. understanding goes a long way and 2. once you know what you are dealing with, you can hack each personality type. Amy goes into...

If you knew someone was doing something terrible with someone else's spouse, would you tell? What if someone told you they thought a married person was acting inappropriately around you - would you dismiss it? Join Amy in her half-serious, half hilarious exploration of these questions after experiencing both of these stories recently.

When we find ourselves reacting to life's challenges in unsavoury ways that we're not proud of, one way of looking at it is that there's another personality trying to come out and take over. We can name and describe this personality, then compartmentalise the reaction in order to manage it better. Put it in a box, put a label on it and defeat it because you have a box around it! Or that's the logi...

In this episode, hear Amy's take on the role of the brain in the development of a decision to be unfaithful. Understand why the total cleverness of the brain can get us into trouble sometimes, learn how it creates solutions for us, and get some advice on how to combat its shortcuts to protect your relationship. Warning: this revelation of how the brain can contribute to bad decisions could change...