The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy

“LET ME START this way,” she said. “Let me start out with unpacking, and wondering about whether I’ve made a mistake and all, and then I’ll throw myself on the bed and call out to you, and you’ll come in and persuade me to stay—you beg me to stay, like this, just like this, and I’ll let you talk me into going through with it.” Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Obse...

“WHAT A THING TO ASK! Be yourself! Over the course of my little lifetime I had put a lot of effort into trying to become someone else . Myself was the last person I wanted to be. There wasn’t anything Denny could have asked me to do that would have been harder. I had no self. There was nothing at the heart of me.” Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of P...

AS THE NIGHT approached, her first night on stage, her first night on display, she realized that she felt unprepared. She was astonished to find that she was nervous about this—her debut—her exposure. Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe

“MY FIRST MOMENT ON DISPLAY came the next day. I waited till around noon to go back to the warehouse. When I got there, Denny was hard at work. He worked in an odd, disorganized way, jumping from one thing to another, never finishing one job before he was distracted by the next. Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.co...

THE WAREHOUSE was full of seats. They were stadium seats, and they could have been from Ebbets Field. At the back of the warehouse, Denny had set up living quarters for himself. Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe

IT WAS A SLOW NIGHT at Corinne’s, so when Denny came in, Ariane was pleased to see him. She hadn’t seen him in a long time, and she hadn’t had anyone to talk to all evening.     “Hey, stranger,” she said. “Where have you been?” Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe

SHE PAUSED for applause, and in the pause I applauded her myself. I also grinned and shook my head, making a little pantomime out of it, using a set of gestures to indicate that I was impressed by her performance. I was aware, of course, that I was performing, too. Let’s face it: I was hamming it up. Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at...

     “Now we come to Greg himself,” she said, and added her middle finger to the tally. “As I said, you’ll get no false modesty from me, so here is my immodest claim: next to myself, Greg Tschudin is my greatest creation.” Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe

     She walked behind the sofa and patted the top of my head, then delivered her next speech standing there, with both hands on the back of the sofa, leaning over me, facing the audience. Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe

“I’VE TOLD THAT STORY so often,” she said—and there she paused, with a twinkle in her eyes, to telegraph the approach of the punch line—“that I almost believe it.”     There was laughter. She had them.   Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe

     “I began to think that maybe he was trying to sell me drugs. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ I said, and that was pretty much the truth, since I didn’t know what a cynosure was, for one thing, ‘but you can buy me a drink if you want.’  Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe

     “You know—that’s an age when we want to seem so hip to it all. Already weary of it all. But we’re still sort of kids at heart. We’re quick to hope, eager to find the good news behind the bad, . . . Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe

ARIANE SAT UP. She gave me a peck on the cheek. She moved to the opposite end of the sofa. She crossed her legs at the knee and struck a pose like that of a guest on an interview program. She looked at me, raised an eyebrow, winked and smirked. Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe

     At first this tense little exercise seems like nothing more than a twisted kind of homage to the windswept terror of Wuthering Heights and its cinematic offspring, . . . Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe

ARIANE LAY ACROSS MY LAP, with her head on the arm of the sofa. She didn’t bother wiping her tears away.     “I had anticipated that night,” she said.  Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe

“I RAN around to the back door and let myself inside.” Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe

CHAFING UNDER the frustrations and delays, Ariane worried about what her absence might make my grandfather think. She hated the idea of his supposing even for a moment that she would let him down, . . . Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe

42 “SHE WAS FAILING,” said Ariane, “so the point of the deception changed. Now we wanted to get to Rarotonga before she died.” Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe

RAIN PELTED the kitchen windows, and wind shook them in their frames. Ariane was glad to be in the warm kitchen, where she was beginning to feel at home. Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe

ARIANE GOT UP and lit another cigarette. “This is going to sound very strange,” she said. “I began dreaming of the voyage.”     “That doesn’t seem surprising,” I said.     “I don’t mean at night—I mean all the time.” Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe

WHEN ARIANE REALIZED Grandfather’s devotion for what it was, she was embarrassed to feel it resonating through her. She felt that she was taking something that wasn’t intended for her, even if she was only lapping up some of what had spilled over the edges, like a kitten, a stray invited into the kitchen to eat the scraps. Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observat...

40 “MOST NIGHTS,” she said, “while John was upstairs standing at the window and talking to Eleanor—”   Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe

“I WOULD TELL HIM all these ideas of mine, my suggestions, what I’d found in my research, usually in the kitchen, while I was cooking, or sometimes, while something was simmering, when we were sitting at the table on the back porch, with the door closed and whispering, and then I’d send him upstairs with a tray and something to say.” Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences...

ARIANE SPENT a lot of time in the kitchen, of course. She was intrigued by the idea of making the meals improve the illusion. She included a lot of fruit, and she used a lot of fish. Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe

[continuing the entry on Rarotonga from Scented Isles , a guidebook to the South Sea Islands by the Christensen sisters] Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe