The Penny Dreadful Hour: A Feast of Early-Victorian Street Literature and Stories

TRIGGER WARNING: This is a Ha'penny Horrid 'Hursday episode. "Horrid" as in "horror." Thursday is the day we do all the grimdark, grisly, horrifying stories. If murders, war crimes, parricides, and other awful stuff are not something you are interested in hearing about, even 200 years later — feel free to skip this episode and circle back this coming Sunday for the regular Penny Dreadful Variety H...

A half-hour- long Tuesday Twopenny Terrible Minisode IN WHICH — 0:02:40: BLACK BESS (Dick Turpin's adventures), Ch. 16: In which: Highwayman Dick Turpin is in a bit of a tight spot. He’s slipped away from the highway and hid in the darkness of a hedgerow, turning the stolen horse loose with a slap on the rump. But the grabs are closing in, until … wait, is that the spectre horseman again? He l...

A Sunday-evening full episode IN WHICH — 0:05:10: TERRIFIC REGISTER ARTICLE: The miracle in the burning house, that saved a young John Wesley, the later founder of Methodism. 0:09:00: SPRING-HEEL'D JACK, Ch. 16: In this chapter, we cut back to the libertine who we saw badgering the poor ballet-girl two chapters ago. Now he is being upbraided by a very young woman. We learn that this girl is hi...

A half-hour- long Tuesday Twopenny Terrible Minisode IN WHICH — 0:02:30: TERRIBLE TIDBIT of the DAY for JULY 22: A sad account of a steamboat voyage on July 22, 1850, which ended with a terrific boiler explosion and much loss of life. Originally published in Household Words magazine by Charles Dickens; courtesy of Cate Ludlow and The History Press (UK). 0:08:00: VARNEY THE VAMPYRE, Ch. 16: "T...

A Sunday-evening full episode IN WHICH — 0:02:40: TERRIBLE TIDBIT of the DAY for JULY 20: A melancholy tale of a shooting accident near Hungerford on July 20, 1852. Originally published in Household Words magazine by Charles Dickens; courtesy of Cate Ludlow and The History Press (UK). 0:05:30: MYSTERIES OF LONDON, Ch. 4: We cut away to Mr. Markham’s estate. That gentleman’s two sons are talking. T...

A half-hour- long Tuesday Twopenny Terrible Minisode IN WHICH — 0:03:00: ARTICLE from the TERRIFIC REGISTER, Page 12: We hear of a Scottish nobleman who's gifted with the Second Sight, whose friends appear before him immediately after death ... 0:07:10: SPRING-HEEL'D JACK, Ch. 15: At the small boat, two rough sailors take Ellen Folder from Jack and invite him to climb aboard after them and...

IN WHICH — 0:04:15: ARTICLE from the TERRIFIC REGISTER, Page 14: The prince of Saxony, we are told, asked a student of magic to raise the spirit of his rich deceased uncle so he could ask him where he hid his treasure. It did not go quite as the prince had hoped ... 0:14:00: THE BLACK BAND, Ch. 15: We see Lolota Vizzini, the Star of the Ballet, relaxing at her Arlington Street house, being sad bec...

IN WHICH — 0:06:50: SWEENEY TODD, Ch. 53: In this chapter, Johanna grows maudlin and overwrought and starts wallowing in self-pity, and is nearly unbearable, even for her best friend Arabella. Arabella suggests they go for a walk; Johanna insists that it be in Fleet-street, and that they walk back and forth past Sweeney Todd’s shop door the whole time. Will he notice? What will happen? 0:26:50: AR...

IN WHICH — 0:05:30: MYSTERIES OF LONDON, Ch. 3: In this chapter, we see this interesting youth having determined on a desperate attempt to flee the house when when one of the ruffians spots him, as you’ll recall from the last chapter. The youth knows he must flee for his life; but, can he? What will be his fate? Also, is he really a boy, or a woman in boy's clothes? If the latter, why? 0:17:00...

IN WHICH — 0:07:30: SPRING-HEEL'D JACK, Ch. 14: We return to Spring-Heel’d Jack plunging into the dark filthy waters of the Thames, in a quest to save poor Ellen Folder from the consequences of her rash act in leaping to her death. He comes to the surface and finds the tidal current is fierce, and strikes out in search of the girl. He sees her about to get sucked under a barge that’s moored in...

IN WHICH — 0:06:30: SPONSORED BY HONEYBUNNY! It's a FREE browser app that searches for online coupons, but whether it finds any or not, it also opens a transdimensional rift through which springs a cute blonde with a short skirt and a snubnosed .38, who will help you negotiate a personal discount on the spot. Download it today and start saving for free! 0:10:00: BLACK BESS (feat. Highwayman Dick T...

IN WHICH — 0:07:00: THE MYSTERIES OF LONDON, Ch. 2: Having ducked into a strange house to escape the rain just before someone came home, the well-dressed youth scampers upstairs ahead of the newcomers and ducks into the farthest room. Luckily the newcomers enter the other room, and light a candle, and start taking some refreshments; but then the lad overhears them talking of burglaries, and murder...

IN WHICH — 0:6:00: BLACK BESS (Highwayman Dick Turpin), Ch.13: This week in Black Bess, we’ll finally get to see Dick Turpin do his legendary “stand and deliver” thing! The fellow he robs, though, will turn out to be a bit of a handful, even for Dick. But the upshot is, Dick has a guest to present to the banquet of the "family" of outlaws and criminals ... a very, very reluctant guest! 0...

IN WHICH — 0:13:00: THE MYSTERIES OF LONDON, Prologue and Ch. 1: We are introduced to a very young, delicate youth in riding attire, trying to find his way home across Smithfield Market as a terrible storm threatens. Ducking into a doorway to escape the rain, he finds himself inside an abandoned house. Then he hears footsteps – someone is coming in after him … 0:35:20: VARNEY THE VAMPYRE, Ch. 13:...

PART 3 OF 3 PARTS ... IN WHICH we finish our exploration of a fascinating little guidebook for all aspiring Swell Coves, from 1840. It’s titled “Hints to Men-About-Town,” and was written by an anonymous knight of the lancet and bleeding-cup who identifies himself only as “The Old Medical Student.” THIS EPISODE is crammed with 185-year-old tips on how to prevent the many social, emotional, and espe...

IN WHICH — 0:07:30: SWEENEY TODD, Ch. 50: Johanna Oakley is forced to take her brave but not overly smart cousin Big Ben the Beefeater into her confidence — to tell him she is dressing in boys’ clothes to spy on the barbershop where, she thinks, Mark Ingestrie was murdered. Now, what do you think Big Ben will do with this information? Why, go check it out by getting Sweeney Todd to shave him, of c...

PART 2 OF 3 PARTS ... IN WHICH we continue to explore a fascinating little guidebook for all aspiring Swell Coves, from 1840. It’s titled “Hints to Men-About-Town,” and was written by an anonymous knight of the lancet and bleeding-cup who identifies himself only as “The Old Medical Student.” Not all of this is good medical advice, I'm sorry to say. There have been a few updates to the basic book o...

FIVE NEW FLASH-CANT WORDS AND PHRASES — "On the Mace" "Angelics" "Misstopper" "Bone" and "Bank the swag" "Arch doxies, ack pirates, pigmen, rum quod culls, laced women and flowers of society" Plus a chapter each from our five vintage Penny Dreadfuls! 0:04:20: SWEENEY TODD, Ch. 49 — Poor barber’s apprentice Tobias Ragg remains in a state o...

IN WHICH we explore a fascinating little guidebook for all aspiring Swell Coves, from 1840. It’s titled “Hints to Men-About-Town,” and was written by an anonymous knight of the goosefeather who identifies himself only as “The Old Medical Student.” It's a series of three, starting with this episode. In it, we'll learn how to gracefully recover from the visible effects of getting involved in a drunk...

A THIEVES' SONG TRANSLATED — The beak looked big, and shook his head, heigh-ho the beak! He wished those family coves were dead, that honest folk might get their bread; heigh-ho the beak! The family cove, he grinned a grin, heigh-ho the cove! He said 'to prig I think no sin, for sure a Romany must have tin'; heigh-ho the cove! Plus a chapter each from our five vintage Penny Dreadfuls! 0:04:30: SWE...

FIVE NEW FLASH-CANT WORDS AND PHRASES — "Autem bawler" "Cat's meat shop" "Bulldogs" "Cross-crib" "Hoister mots, high tobers, and Moabites" Plus a chapter each from our five vintage Penny Dreadfuls! 0:04:30: SWEENEY TODD, Ch. 47 — Johanna Oakley’s mother is on a rampage, trying to persuade her to consent to marry Pastor Lupin. Luckily, Big Ben t...

IN WHICH we learn some of the back story of the unlikely "hero" of Black Bess; or, The Knight of the Road, courtesy of a 12-page children's chapbook published by Samuel and John Keys of Devonport in or around 1840 ... almost exactly 100 years after the real Dick Turpin was hanged for his depredations! Be sure to join us this Saturday night for the next full episode of the Penny Dreadful Story Hour...

*stands for "A Fate Worse Than Death." We'll be seeing a lot of this! FIVE NEW FLASH-CANT WORDS AND PHRASES — "Lawful Blanket" "Gunpowder" "Timber merchant" "Swill Tub" "Philistines" Plus a chapter each from our five vintage Penny Dreadfuls! 0:05:00: SWEENEY TODD, Ch. 46 — The ostler from a hotel across the way arrives just in time to...

FIVE NEW FLASH-CANT WORDS AND PHRASES — "Academician" "Tog and kicks" "Shooting the cat" "Jobber knot" "Knife it" Plus a chapter each from our five vintage Penny Dreadfuls! 0:04:10: SWEENEY TODD, Ch. 45 — Major Bounce steps into Sweeney Todd’s shop and asks to have his mustache shaved off ... will Sweeney Todd “polish him off,” do you think? We’ll see. 0:18:00: BLACK BESS (Dick Turpin) Ch. 7 — Hig...

FIVE NEW FLASH-CANT WORDS AND PHRASES — "Glim" "Bolt the moon" "Nubbing" "Flat-catchers" "The holy land" Plus a chapter each from our five vintage Penny Dreadfuls! 0:03:45: SWEENEY TODD, Ch. 44 — Mrs. Lovett, disappointed at learning the truth about her new beau, Major Bounce, plots to avenge her wounded pride by getting him made into pies ... 0:20...