The Ordinary Family

When we return to a moment that felt bad and add connection and emotional safety, we actually change the memory in the body. - Dr. Becky Kennedy … and this is the power of repair. The power to change the memory in the body by adding connection and emotional safety. I know too many parents who feel like they are failing their kids. They feel like: * They yell too much * They lose their temper too m...

I used to think that parenting was like math, something like A + B = C. In fact, it seems like a lot of advice and content out there for parents will argue that parenting is like math too. “If you use this parenting method your kids will never have meltdowns or tantrums”. “If you follow the parenting advice in this book your kids will turn out to be good adults.” And so it goes, we end up thinking...

We’ve all heard the phrase, “Work/Life Balance” and thought, yeah I want that but I don’t know how to get it, in fact some of us think it’s a nice idea that’s not feasible for us. Maybe it’s possible for other people but not me, not my life. Or maybe, we’ve just resolved ourselves to grinding it out and trudging through our lives. We think things like: * There’s no time for me to have hobbies * Th...

If you’re like me you may have been taught things like… * Others before self * It’s your responsibility to take care of your spouse * If your spouse is going through a hard time, your marriage might be in trouble * Happy wife, happy life and while these are all nice sentiments they can actually create bad results for you if you use them as guides when your spouse is going through a hard time. Beca...

In this podcast you’ll hear Abby and I talk a lot about our values. You’ll hear us say things like: This doesn’t align with our values. We were trying to make a decision that aligned with our family values. In this situation I behaved in a way that did not align with my values. In this episode we’ll talk about what the heck values are (to us). We’ll share how we define our values and how they trul...

Why do we want our kids to behave (other than the altruistic reasons we tell ourselves)? Why does it feel so hard to have a good day, when your spouse is having a bad day? Would you like to stop ruminating and beating yourself up when you make a mistake? Then join us as we dive into how you can create emotional safety for yourself in this episode. You don’t have to change anyone else but you do ne...

You may have heard about the compound effect as it relates to finances but did you know that this concept applies to all of life? The best part is, you can leverage the compound effect to create the relationship you want with your spouse and kids. Join us as we dive into all the ways you can create compounding positive change in your life and the life of the people you love the most. Have a questi...

Abby: “I don’t love boundaries” Coleman: “I love boundaries” For years Abby and I did boundaries poorly. It was all about controlling and managing other people’s behavior. I feel exhausted just thinking about it now. Then we learned how to do boundaries in a way that required only one thing: how to manage and control ourselves. This simple shift changed our experience of boundaries. All of a sudde...

We all have the same amount of hours in a day but we don’t all have the same energy capacity. For years Abby and I perfected the art of time management in our work and our home. We maximized all the things. We made the inefficient, efficient. We planned and scheduled something most hours of most days. We listened to podcasts in our down time and on our commutes. Always learning, always growing. Or...

Communication is complex and for work we have degrees for that. What about communicating with your spouse and kids? Is there a degree for that? Sure would be nice if there was. Do you feel confident in your ability to communicate efficiently and effectively with your spouse and kids? Or does it feel hard and painful to have a conversation with your spouse? Does it feel like conversations just take...

Are you doing you best? Do you find yourself leaving it all on the field? What about going the extra mile or above and beyond? As a child or adolescent these phrases were quite helpful but as an adult they can sometimes lead us astray. Why? Because when you’re only responsible for yourself, you’re the only person impacted when you leave it all on the field or go the extra mile. When you have a fam...

This week’s episode is all about the adventures we went on with our kids that quickly turned into misadventures ! We laughed, we cried, we were pissed, we felt defeated and regret and each time we learned something important about ourselves, our kids, and each other. If you adventure with your kids, you’re going to have misadventures and they aren’t usually the stuff you see people sharing on inst...

Parents, we made this episode for you. We wish we would have had this podcast episode when we were new parents! How do you define success as a parent? Do you know? Whether it was intentional or not you have a target that you’re working towards as a parent. For many of us, it’s just what our parents did (or didn’t do) that guides us in how we show up as parents for our own kids. For some of us, it’...

In addition to being a mom and wife, your host Abby does a few other things including: * Homeschooling her kids * Running a farm and forest school with her sister in law * Teaching yoga If you… * Want to get to know Abby better * Are interested in homeschooling or homeschool enrichment programs like the farm and forest school * Or love yoga This episode is for you! In this episode Abby shares how...

One of our podcast listeners thanked us recently and shared that they joined a running club after listening to one of our episodes. We absolutely love hearing that our podcast is making a positive difference in people’s lives. If something we’ve shared on this podcast has had a positive impact on your life we would love to hear from you! You can reply directly to this email or leave us a review on...

Abby and I have been married for 15 years. In 15 years we’ve been through multiple seasons of life that were hard, some were really hard on our marriage. Whether you’re navigating a season of closeness or feeling the strain of growing apart, this episode includes practical advice and our honest stories to help you imagine new ways to connect with your spouse. Join Abby and Coleman as they share th...

These days, technology makes it easy to avoid thinking, just ask google! It makes it easy to not ask a friend for help, just watch a youtube video! It makes it easy to not become a capable, creative problem solving human. In our home we consider ourselves technology minimalists, my friend Trey calls it Tech Veganism. But what about the way technology can keep our kids safer, right?! Isn’t my kid s...

There was a time when I (Coleman) thought routine was a dirty word. How am I supposed to be spontaneous if I have a rigid routine?! Whelp, all that has changed since becoming a father. In fact, what I’ve learned is that designing my family’s rhythms and routines intentionally with my wife Abby is how we take the very best care of ourselves and the people we love the most. Can you make exceptions t...

Is your relationship with your spouse in a rut? Do you find yourself going through the motions, following the routine and making it work? In this episode Abby and Coleman share how they create connection and deeper, more authentic love in their relationship through shared activity together. Often what makes you fall in love with someone is not what creates a thriving relationship. Trying new thing...

If you are dreading the upcoming holidays because time with extended family often feels draining and awkward we recorded this episode just for you! Your hosts Coleman and Abby will share funny and painful stories from their extended family holidays with you and the tools they use now to keep themselves safe and sane when gathering with extended family over the holidays. What if you could enjoy the...

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! We love Thanksgiving and Christmas around here and we have some cherished family traditions that we look forward to every year. We also like to try new experiences with our kids to see what sticks and what becomes a funny memory that we will not do again. Tune in to this episode to spark you’re own imagination for your family traditions and maybe you’ll ev...

Your emotions are the secret key to everything you want in your life. How you feel, drives your actions and your actions literally build the life you have today. The primary thing standing between you and the life you want is a bunch of emotions you probably don’t want to feel. Learn to feel them by processing them through your body and you can do anything . Tune in to this week’s episode to learn...

Whether you lean towards having the family all together all the time or you’re more introverted and appreciate your time alone and 1:1 time with the people you love the most there’s something for everyone in this episode. In this episode we share how we think about intentional family time and how we spend time with each family member 1:1. Join us as we explore the art of making time together a pri...

Have you ever wanted to take your kids with you on an adventure but wondered if it was the right thing to do? You are, after all the adult and you’re supposed to keep your kids safe, right? Maybe it’s better to do less dangerous, risky things with your kids? WRONG! We actually think adventures are the best place to build confidence, capability (two things we intentionally help our kids grow in) an...

If you want to have authentic, deep, healthy relationships with the people you love the most you have to toss out that manual you have for them. Let them be who they want to be and get to know the person you love for who they truly are. We all have relationship manuals. These manuals tell us (not the other person) how the other person is supposed to behave. We expect them to do this not that. When...