The Opinion Machine???

Wherein, I talk about how I was unable to become friends with and save Reggie Watts from liberalism, even though, its seems like I should have been able to. I also talk about an insane double amputee friends of mine, who had all her limbs when we first became friends. I also forgot the names of the following people: Scott Auckerman (Comedy Bang Bang) Amanda LePore, (Drag queen.) James Corden (Fat...

Wherein I talk shit about Thomas Dolby and tell you how Thomas Dolby is such a forgettable one hit wonder that almost everyone mistakes him for Howard Jones. I repeat Thomas Dolby’s name a lot here in hopes that Thomas Dolby’s few stupid fans get shown this recording of me talking shit about Thomas Dolby, that unmemorable, hair plugging, dork. Thomas Dolby sucks. Fork Thomas Dolby. No refunds.

Wherein I pivot from bad customer service offered by corporations, to the much worse constituent disservice provided by every bureaucratic government and government mandated agency. When charm and deception seem like your only way to balance the universe, it ain’t hard to ignore and put on a happy face. Does anyone read these descriptions? Probably not. Damn I waste a lot of time. No refunds.

Wherein I implore the people who ask me for advice to think about what they are doing. Tangents and rambling as usual. No refunds.

Wherein I explore the topic of dream journaling and why I can’t figure out why people don’t seem to give a shit about the miracle of dreams. I know I sound like a child. I don’t care. Dreams are worth acknowledging and remembering and if you think that is dumb, I think you are dumb. Mexican stand off. Your move, Consuela, No refunds.

Wherein I tell you about my day yesterday, in which I dealt with no fewer than 30 incompetent customer service reps, only one of which I could say was white. It was miserable. Unbelievable really. I’m dehydrated and hoarse in this one because I do not play nice with incompetent foreigners hired to demoralize and humiliate me. Skip this one. No refunds.

Wherein I give the origin story behind changing my name to ???, how it didn’t really work, and how it was born out of wearing too many hats in my old band, only to have the Internet erase my involvement in it. Jerks. Swim Herschel Swim, is the name of that band. I write that here for the internet crawling robots who insist that the internet is the only way to verify the truth. I probably already t...

Wherein I sermonize about the sermonizers and why you might want to consider just how silly their hats are before you take them seriously. I argue that funny hats are really little more than liability waivers that make you responsible for taking any dumb advice literally. Funny hats should be for fun, not for authority. This is another one of those times when God is punching us in the face with “d...

Wherein I say a bunch of gay shit about gay things in hopes that people will stop being so gay and maybe, you know, get back to the business of not being so gay all the time. Lots of oil talk in this one. Not baby oil though. If you hate Trump, you aren’t gonna like this one. Move along. No refunds

Wherein I rant about a billion things, take a bunch of side roads about this hand and the other one. I ain’t got shit figured out. But, that’s fine. No refunds.

Wherein I talk about the gobs of music made by myself and my friends that will likely never be heard by anyone, and how maybe the only music we listen to should be by those who know our name. Stoner thoughts without being stoned. Storage full. Delete files. No refunds.

Wherein I get existential about the likelihood that the digital era will be a black hole for future archeologists. If you ain’t printing and making stuff in the real physical world, you can count on being forgotten. Even in meat world it’s hard to be remembered. OJ who? His ex mother in law? Her passport? No refunds.

Wherein I review the culture of the last ten years, more specifically since the family wrecking psyop known as Covid, & ponder how much they were able to destroy, how hard it might be to repair, if that’s even possible, & just get real about the damage they did. Corny, but sincere. There is a song at the end I wrote with my half brother. He’s one of the ones who hates me. I miss him too. No refund...

Wherein I give fair warning and address the most recent person who wanted me to know that they were sick of my shit. I’m sick of my shit. Try to be original. No refunds.

Wherein I say a bunch of stupid shit on this topic, wasting your time, my time, and everyone else’s. In fact, reading this synopsis is a waste of time. You either want to waste time listening to my blather or you don’t. I doubt this synopsis has any affect on that. No refunds.

Wherein I make a plea based on an entire lifetime of you assholes trying to make your problems, my problem. If I could snap my fingers and make those two ideologies, Judaism & Islam, disappear, I’d have done decades ago and the world would be full of wonderful white children playing in endless fields of wonder. I really need that finger snapping power. This recording and every moment I have ever d...

Wherein I describe the weirdness I experienced when I kinda accidentally became a photographer of naked people, strange rules I made in order to be “professional”, how everything changed this week when I used AI tools to help me fix some of the art that I hated, and how it dawned on me that these tools will for sure result in every half attractive woman, and even some who aren’t, ending up naked,...

Wherein I aimlessly ponder the concept of imprisonment, solitary confinement, solitude vs loneliness & why the heck large groups make me feel more isolated than being totally by myself. Why do most people hate being alone? Even the word “alone” seems to scare people, so much, they might change the words of a song to avoid it. Anyway, that’s a way for me to say that I’m posting a raw, one take, rec...

Wherein I discuss the recent human phenomenon of everyone you ever flushed out of your life, for good or bad reasons, being able to, or being kinda forced into, spying on you & knowing things they would never ever have known about you without breaking numerous laws and making life really uncomfortable for everyone. And we act like it is normal. It isn’t. Well, not historically speaking. No way it...

Wherein I tell some stories that I should probably keep to myself, but, for whatever reason, I feel compelled to share, to give just a little context to the whole “eating babies” thing. If you like Gavin Rossdale you will hate this story. If you like Gwen Stefani, you are likely to think less of me for telling some “secrets” here. Look, my life is my story, and if you know me & I know you, you are...

Wherein I tell a story about how I came to be closely involved in the horror known as “Gender Affirming Care” It seems like many are still in denial about it all and are looking the other way. That’s not good. Eye on the ball. Yes, I wanted to say “balls”. This isn’t a funny episode. No refunds.

Wherein I tell some personal stories of alleged righteous indignation, passionate piety, & cringeworthy chastisement of people who didn’t deserve it & compare those feeling that drove me with what I am witnessing online in relation to the growing lore surrounding Jeffrey Epstein. Yes, I said LORE, aka FICTION, aka IMAGINARY TALES. Some of the stories are true. Most of them, you have been careful l...

Wherein I explain what should be very obvious about the personal life details of Roger Goodell’s decision to let the anti-white, dreadlocked social justice warrior, Jay-Z, who happens to be married to Beyoncé, run the Super Bowl Halftime Show to the exclusion of all White People. This is my most perfect analysis so far. I’m patting myself on the back as I type this. Figuratively. I need both thumb...

Wherein I explain exactly why Puerto Rico can NEVER be granted US Statehood. Not ever. Never. No way. Also, time for whitey to get super pridey. No refunds.

Wherein I theorize how Rubin, Milo, Greenwald, Fuentes, Ali, Jesse, Shapiro, Levin, Loomer, Elijah, Smith, Owens, & the rest of the “right wing” degenerates gained such a foothold amongst self described conservatives. We allowed it, and promoted it. Well, at least I did. But why? What made me/us think that was a good idea? Well, I have some ideas that you might be able to predict. No refunds.