The Opinion Machine???

Wherein I declare my superiority because I unfollow people on the internet, ramble on about how weird it is that anyone follows anyone while unironically making this very thing to post on the internet to be seen by people who “follow” me. There is no reason to listen to this. I’m retarded. No refunds.

Wherein I wonder who the people are who accept free donations & magically become obedient servants to whoever gave it to them when I don’t see many corporate workers who honestly work for their paycheck. I’m not very smart. You know this. No refunds.

Wherein I sermonize about comfort, the historical lack thereof, the current day entitlements to it & pitfalls of not having to fight for it. I kinda pretend to be a tough guy for a bit. I meander. No refunds.

Wherein I sermonize about Doomerism, explain what it is, why I am predisposed to it, why I block & unfollow doomers & make excuses for my extremely high double standards. Tangents, blatant hypocrisies, you name it, this soap box is especially sudsy. No refunds.

Wherein I rant about whether or not anyone ever walked on the moon, and how flat earthers seem pretty disconnected with their senses and how it’s totally ok to say “I don’t know” and even ok-er to say “I totally know” because your anecdotal experience is an unfathomable miracle despite what Van Allen does or doesn’t do with his radiation belt. Tangents & non sequiters abound. Very little wisdo...

How Allegedly Powerful Women Are Absolutely Crushed By Sex In The Workplace, Powerful Men Are Easily Crushed By Bad Dates & Apple Does It’s Best To Pretend They Are Different. Aka: Feigning Powerlessness Is Insulting To Everyone.

Full Mean Sisters, Half Mean Sisters, & Step Mean Sisters. Aka: Relax, This Probably Isn’t About You, But It Might Be.

How Catastrophic Thinking Wastes Everyone’s Time, Sucks Up All Your Energy & Never Solves A Single Problem Aka: Use That Energy To Actually Fix Shit

It’s Pretty Good For Emergencies, Trigger Pulling & Wrestling But Not Much Else. Aka: Uncertainty Is More Fun.

Love & Hate Are Inseparable, Hot Depends On Cold, & The Worst Shit You Can Imagine Is What Makes The Best Shit You Can Imagine So Great. Aka: Maybe A Little Gratitude For Your Shitty Attitude Is Inevitable So Maybe Just Deal With It.

Deadly Invisible Bugs, The Religious Fervor & Hysteria On Both Sides, & The Redundantly Mathematical Probability That You Are Reacting Irrationally. Aka: Math Is Your Friend, Hysteria Is Not.

It Isn’t Easy, It’s Hard & Sometimes It Feels Impossible. Aka; Still Beats Hauling Buckets Of Sewage Out Of The Basement.

Self Love, Self Loathing, & The Projections Thereof Aka: How You Feel About Donald Trump Is Likely How You Feel About Yourself.

Turkey & Tofu, Apples & Oranges, & Bruce & Caitlin Aka: How To Depopulate Your Next Thanksgiving Dinner

Do You Have It? Does Anyone? & Does Not Having It Make Malevolence Less Malevolent? Aka; Do We Forgive Those Who Know Not What They Do?

Why? Like, What The Fuck? Aka: Seriously, What Is Wrong With You?

Identifying Bad People, Calling Them Names, Holding Up Signs & Sending Others To Kill Them. Aka: You Don’t Really Have To Do Anything But Be Loud About Who You Hate.

Fortune, Misfortune & The Difficult Task Of Distinguishing Between The Two. Aka: Gratitude Might Be The Most Crucial Element In The Perception Thereof

You Have It, They Have It, Everybody Has It But Me. Aka: Big Sugar & Big Pharma Have Concocted The Most Delicious Of All Cahoots In Which They Could Possibly Be.

Deviant Self Preservation, Tribal Solidarity Built On The Promise Of Mutual Destruction, & The Progressive Interference Into Young Lives & Minds To Sexualize & Pervert Every Aspect Of Being. Aka: If You Can’t Beat Them, Molest Their Kids.

The Everlasting Inherent Value, Density & Beauty, The Difficult & Pleasing Process Of Mining & Refining, & How That All Compares To A Sandwich During Times Of Famine. Aka: Gold Bars Make Terrible Pillows.

The Unnerving Power Of Harmony, The Long Lens Balance Of A Wildly Swinging Pendulum & Walking A Tightrope With A Long Pole Aka: Thinking Of Religion Literally Takes All The Fun Out Of It.

How Broken Children Make The Best International Brothers, How Mother’s Who Commit Suicide Make The Brokenest Children & How International Brotherhood Is The Weakest Surrogate For Actual Love. Aka: Cool Shirt, Comrade.

Accusations As Confessionals, Supremacy As Projection & The Mental Disorder of Unresolved Socially Engineered White Guilt Aka: Ya Smelt It, Ya Dealt It.

The Dubious Miracle Of Mirrors, The Laborious Nature And Cost Of Oil Paint Cave Drawings & The Death That Is A Photograph Aka: Those Selfies Ain’t Just Cute Little Marketing Gimmicks.