The One Millionth Podcast

Chris has to differentiate between ‘commercial’ and ‘private’ flights and Andi fell down. Then they talk about what kind of horses to eat.

Chris has notes on Andi’s bath time routine and Andi explains the difference between pasties and tassels. This is a blissful episode after the Bills game and before the Bengals game… they were happier then. 

Chris has it out for cucumber water and Andi would rather eat ass than drink a PBR.

Chris has a bougie week at home and Andi totally nails the Home Depot theme song. 

Chris and Andi talk about the Saints Row and Assassins Creed games ad nauseam. Also they are absolutely curb stomped about the loss of Betty White. 

Chris and Andi talk about how children can’t appreciate the arts and how nuts marathon runners are. 

Andi has a big problem with the Friends theme song on HBO Max and Chris has a wild weekend in Arizona.

Chris has his first Philly cheesesteak and Andi helps him redecorate the living room. Is there more exciting stuff they talk about? Yes, but you have to listen to find out. This is called a “teaser”. 

Chris is outraged at how inflation has affected the Cheesecake Factory, and the pod gets the best email it’s ever received. Brought to you by backattacksnacks.com

Chris and Andi get drunk and it’s a real ramble fest. Listen as the Porters make the most of a Friday night!

Chris wants an Alf origins story and the Porters discuss if Fleshlights are recyclable. We’re having fun, kids.

Chris went to Tampa and gets a taste of his own foot while Andi went to a scorching hot play in North Hollywood. It’s not all glitz and glamour, folks. 

Andi tries out Chris’ bidet on the air and Chris got a f**king sound pad.

Andi tries to get Chris into The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and Chris is making some big life upgrades. Fill your ear holes with some sweet, sweet banter.

This is now a Below Deck discussion podcast. Yes we know that the title has nothing to do with Below Deck. Deal with it, turds. 

Chris and Andi are in Kansas City and Chris talks about The Black Crowes ad nauseam. They also discuss how many soft serve cones one can eat in a day (it’s around 18).

Chris has many airport annoyances and Andi convinced her friend that the emergency number in California is 912. Also there’s a new contest where you get to re-name a guy who has no balls. 

The Porters discuss Andi’s 23 and Me results and what happened when Chris asked their Grandma about stretch marks. 

Chris spent his weekend in a seedy hotel and Andi does a spot on, exactly perfect impression of Chris. Swear to gah you’ll think it’s him.

Brad Williams stops by to talk with Chris and Andi about renaissance festivals, John Mayer and how to pronounce Worcestershire.

Chris and Andi are on a Dave’s Hot Chicken kick… and they got burned bad by some way too hot sammiches. 

Andi is trying to get the family down to the Margaritaville Resort and Chris struggles with reverse ATMs. 

About once a podcast Andi gestures to Chris to clear his throat, and he does it every single time without an attitude. That was sarcasm! This time she didn’t edit it out of the pod. Oh and they talk about concerts and stuff. 

Chris and Andi learn how they got Mr. Ed to talk and Andi does a scratcher ticket live on the pod.

Chris and Andi really gross each other out and make fun of a guy who uses a word they don’t know.