The Nick Abbot Habit

This week: a caller starts a massive fight about Europe, we learn the truth about democracy, I am taken to task about something I didn't say and Boris Johnson is challenged to go naked mud wrestling.

This time, we learn just how boring French TV is, there's a lot of talk about kebabs, a woman calls in with a question but doesn't like the answer and I have a special moment that I couldn't help but share.

In this episode: I am corrected by a furious cab driver; a lady complains about James Bond; a man asks many questions about Trump, Boris and God; we fly the flag for Britain and someone calls in with an answer to crime - all of it.

This week, I get told off for getting something right, a bewildering call comes from someone with qualifications, we get sniffy about phone boxes and the tale of the Sunday Laundry Criminals.

Glasto is not the only show in town but it is certainly the biggest and that's where we go this week, with a detour to Farageland, advice on tents and a little light arguing about the "B" word.

In the age of the 24 hour-a-day multiple news-gasms, let The Nick Abbot Habit be your guide. It's fast and funny and sometimes furious. All opinions are correct, apart from those that aren't. Plus Nick's favourite calls from his cult weekend talk show. Guaranteed no baking or dancing.

This week, we take a peek at 1970's bathroom suites, find out a lot about islands, I have a fight with a man about cars, someone spots A John Cleese (not THE John Cleese) and we discover what a major industrialist thinks of his old boss Donald Trump.

This week, helpful callers have excellent advice for Theresa May, who may not like it; there's an unseemly way to serve strawberries; how to say 'scone' and a man in a bra fills a bath with potatoes.

In this episode, I receive a very brief call from God's representative on Earth, we go yodeling in Holland and there is a minor altercation about Brexit and Trump.

This week, we learn how to save water by brushing your teeth funny, how to waste water by keeping your fake grass moist, how to lose money by letting politicians mark their own homework and I have a stand-up fight with a man who doesn't think I'm taking Brexit seriously.

This week: some people spoiled their ballot papers and one man was very proud about it; a perfectly believable theory on why that might not be a good idea and a pretty good joke about it; saving money without really trying and a woman has a beef with Scotland.

This week, the shortest call to my LBC show, a man gets a surge, a young woman deliberately shuts out the on-line world and the US Navy says aliens from space are here and a professor says they are breeding with us.

This week, we talk cars and pink boats, weird science, a man from the bank protests his innocence and we go fondling tubers.

This week: which pet makes you happiest, swinging with Nigel Farage, pronouncing Anunzianzioozit and a shouty woman bangs on about the war.

This week, the effect that Brexit is having on your personal facial area, the competing stories on the origins of Easter eggs, how we are paying for the private jets of the super-rich, the spy in your car, Game of Thrones returns and a very energetic senior citizen sets us straight.

This week, we terminate some superspy candidates, over-eat chocolate treats, there's a lot of marching going on and a confused man sets me homework.

In this episode, the inside scoop on Nigel Farage's Stroll to Nirvana, the army is on standby to keep a lid on things if our exit celebrations get out of hand and an American explains what's happening 6000 miles away in Britain.

This week, the perils of a day trip to the south coast, the worst drivers on the road, a little light heavy music and I get told I'm not doing my job correctly.

Some of my favourite calls from the past few months, which I think are properly hilarious. There's the man who got locked in the toilet, the lady with the sparrows in her garden, the shortest call about Brexit ever and the nice Liverpudlian who got a big surprise from Amazon she didn't really want.

A man goes mad about fish, two people fight over Theresa May and the secrets of the gorgeous pictures on the front of our food packets.

This week, we fail at walking the dog, we pay for the rich to go skiing, there's a new party in town and tips on where not to live by the people that live there.

In this episode: Career choices for teens; Donald Trump's physical shows he is part human; an arthritic slow moving political coup; France plays nice and two people shout at me about a member of the royal family.

In this episode: you are invited to a party but you might not want to go, the alarming dangers that come with our pets, the unfit-for-fighting army and the man who fell asleep while on-hold for my show.

We find out why Donald Trump is that colour, a menu leaves a bad taste in the mouth, the attack of the killer octopus, a man sues his parents for being his parents and two callers school me on Brexit.

Norman pushes drugs, Roger talks like a Mafia Don and global warming is a hoax because it is cold outside.