The Neurodivergent Professor

Have you ever sat down and thought about your values?  Values are important, motivating, and provide guidance. I’ve done a lot of values work in therapy and find it challenging. I value many things, but prioritizing the top five to ten is difficult and dynamic. One thing I have learned during over a decade of values work is that many human values suck.  I think a lot about universal or ‘optimum’ v...

You don’t have to look far to find something to complain about.  Climate changeInequalitySuicidal ideationMalnutritionLoneliness  The world is full of problems. Now, I’m no doomer. My intent is not to illuminate human suffering. Rather, I accept the Buddhist notion that there will be suffering. My issue is all the EXTRA suffering. I can’t shake the naive, hippie belief that solutions are within ou...

Have you seen (or read) “2001: A Space Odyssey”? The story opens at the time of early humans. Folks are going about their business when a ginormous monolith appears. Everyone freaks out at first, but then some develop the ability to use bones as tools.  At first, I didn’t understand that the monolith represented punctuated equilibrium . This is a phrase used by evolutionary biologists to describe...

The unexamined life is not worth living — Socrates It seems natural, even innate, to want to make the most of one’s life. To have a good life seems to require examination. Examining one’s life, growing, and continuing to be aware is part of our purpose. The purpose of life has two branches. The first is the ecological purpose and the second is more metaphysical. The ecological purpose of life is t...

Do you suffer? Humans have problems. It’s hard to deny.  Despite many pleas for ‘looking on the bright side of life’, we live in a world full of suffering. For whatever reason, I think about these problems, the causes, and potential solutions.  While it is difficult to maintain a positive mental attitude and growth mindset, I strive for a balance. I consider how we might improve humanity while not...

Do you ever think about your comfort zone? I’m sure most people are at least aware of the concept. To me, our comfort zone is like an invisible egg that surrounds our physical body. Near the center, we are, well, comfortable. As we near the edges we become less comfortable.  Our comfort zone is like a sixth sense. It is more a bodily feeling or awareness than an identifiable sensation. Approaching...

Does science play a role in your life?  Do you value hard data and evidence? Do you think humans are good at proving things? Or maybe you defer to religion or culture to decide what is real? I talk a lot about how science is over or undervalued. Some folks think science proves reality. Others think scientists are full of crap. Regardless of how you feel about science, the scientific method is rega...

Do other people ever make you angry? I’d be worried about you if you said no. Or assume you are the Dalai Lama.  Many of us struggle to find connections to people we disagree with. Or people who act out, are annoying, or mean. I preach a lot about how we are all connected, and how we need to love one another and participate in our communities. But it is so very hard, sometimes, to love everyone or...

Have you ever wondered how any two people can have a conversation and walk away feeling both like they were heard and believing they heard the other person? It blows my mind how limiting conversation can be. As magical as language is, it leaves so much room for error. Words mean different things to different people. We hear one thing when they mean another. Context matters. We have different life...

“The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.” ― Charles Bukowski Do you ever think about this? Can you think of an example from your life? Sometimes, it seems we’re surrounded by idiots.  And they’re loud .  We worship confidence, arrogance, and status. Why are we surprised when the greedy become gluttonous? Why do we...

What went right? Do you ever wonder how we got here? Do you ever think about what has changed over hundreds of thousands of years of human evolution? The past few decades have seen exponential growth in technology. Smartphones. Passenger trips to space. Electric vehicles. Lots of crazy new tech. In most of our lifetimes, technological advances have dominated the changes we experience. Science chan...

Ok, I know, it sounds weird but hear me out.  Humans are freaked out by death. I’m not saying I’m any different, just drawing attention to this in hopes of reducing our suffering. Today I’m wondering what life would be like if we could change our relationship with death. The Toltec civilization of Central America considered death an advisor like a friend who gives advice. In this way, Toltecs navi...

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me Do you remember this nursery rhyme?  When I was younger, I believed it. I thought I would rather be yelled at than physically harmed. While I feel lucky to have received more verbal bullying than actual butt-kickings, I’m not so sure the damage was less harmful. As an adult, I realize words have real power and do a lot of harm on t...

What IS the matter? Matter is an interesting word. It’s a noun and a verb. The noun means something of substance and can be physical or metaphysical. The verb means for something to be important. There’s matter, and there is the matter. I like words like that, but the complication of communication and understanding. The idea of something mattering, as a verb, has been on my mind lately. The last t...

I couldn’t care less about that. How many times have you said that? We use this phrase as a euphemism to mean we completely don’t like, disagree with, or are opposed to whatever is being discussed.  There are things in life we don’t care about, and some things we care a lot about. We pay attention to and direct our energy toward the things we care about.  My argument here is caring about things is...

Are you aware of the stress in your life?  Can you FEEL it when stressors are building up and you think you may pop? Do you ever feel like you’re right on the verge of a meltdown? I think most of us are familiar with these scenarios. We can only take so much stress. When I was an ecologist, I had a vision for my life’s work. I planned on studying how aquatic ecosystems resist or integrate stressor...

Do ever joke that we’re living in the Matrix?  I often refer to the movie when talking about the problems of the world. Sometimes it does seem like we’re living in a computer simulation. Or does it?  Anyway, I was inspired to do this episode by the idea that the future might be predetermined. Or, more to the point, that we can do anything about the future.  Many of us seem to think we can. A commo...

This week I’ll skip right to the punchline.  The ability to see beyond the mainstream and to understand the continuum of whatever feature it is in the world is a special gift.  This is enhanced awareness. I wonder if being neurodiverse or atypical or having a sensitive or different nervous system, sort of gives us this ability.  In an evolutionary context, I can see how this ability would have bee...

Are you familiar with Jon Kabat-Zinn? In short, he’s one of the people who has made meditation mainstream. While I generally don’t like words like ‘mainstream’ and ‘conformity’, anything that makes helpful tools more accessible to the masses is good in my book. Known as one of the creators of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), Kabat-Zinn has written a bunch of books and helped teach medita...

Have you ever thought about your boundaries? Maybe a therapist told you your boundaries were weak. Or maybe you read something about relationships and how some people might not respect your boundaries.  I learned early on that my boundaries are weak.  I tend to pay attention to other people’s needs more than my own. Some people in the world will take advantage of this. Many of us struggle to simul...

Have you ever felt like you didn’t belong anywhere? Do you have a ‘sacred space’ where you do feel like you have membership? For many of us, we have our family. Whether or not we truly feel comfortable in that space, there is a membership based on genetics or time spent together. It is a difficult thing to simultaneously exist as separate and together.  We are individuals. Our skin is a boundary s...

How do you feel about terms like people pleaser, codependent, inauthentic, or chameleon? We use these terms to describe when we are not ‘being ourselves’ in the presence of other people. I think this probably has some evolutionary significance in ensuring we remain members of a group. We are being polite and trying not to hurt feelings or cause conflict. We want to be liked. The neurodivergent com...

I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees. I speak for the trees for the trees have no tongues. Dr. Seuss, The Lorax Do you have an opinion about climate change? How about abortion? Or universal basic income? We all have our concerns and our hills that we’ll die on. This week I will use climate change as an example of a polarizing issue and make an argument about how neurodiversity may provide a model...

What is your experience with therapy? Have you tried it? Wanted to try it? Hesitant to try it? Overwhelmed? Did you have a bad experience?  I have noticed some neurodivergent people have had negative experiences with therapy. Here I want to clarify my own story about how both therapy and neurodivergence are helping me heal and become the person I want to be. Briefly, I have been in therapy, counse...

Do you love yourself? I know, it’s an extremely personal question. When a counselor first asked me this question I was taken aback. It’s offensive and puts one in a defensive position. And who likes feeling defensive? But therapy is about healing and I answered as best I could. Again, and again. I’m fairly certain every counselor, therapist, and coach I have worked with has asked me some form of t...