The Mutant Ages

This episode of X-Men Evolution is called "African Storm," which means we didn't have high expectations for it, and that was the right call. Finally we get a Storm spotlight episode, but it's about a mysterious African tribe trying to kidnap her, brainwash her, and use her powers. Somehow, Xavier manages to co-opt the situation to convince Ororo that they should kick Evan out of the X-Mansion. Is...

Cyclops and Havok get stuck in the opening sequence from Kingdom Hearts, and they need Storm to help them escape, but unfortunately, she has no actual powers on X-Men Evolution. Meanwhile, Beast and Kurt have side-plots about getting more comfortable with their bodies. If only Beast and Kurt's side-stories were more central to the episode and better written. Anyway, watch out for those waves, dude...

At long last, Ryan and Maddy discuss the fact that they pronounce "Xavier" differently, thanks to a listener email. Somehow, we never noticed this before. Thanks to some other great messages from our audience, we also discuss Nightcrawler's story as a trans allegory, whether New Mutants is better than Dark Phoenix, and so much more. This week also features the next episode of the Mutant Ages comic...

In X-Men Evolution, Hank McCoy is still the guy we know and love: he quotes poetry to illustrate his state of mind, and he struggles with being a mutant and learning to love himself. Professor Xavier doesn't help at all, so instead it's up to a bunch of teenagers to help Hank, which is good because they're all more comfortable with themselves than Xavier or Hank ever will be. This is a very sad an...

Ryan and Maddy resist the urge to talk about Wandavision and stay on track this episode, covering the next episode in the X-Men Evolution queue: "Fun and Games." This one is all about Arcade manipulating the X-Men in one of his games, except the true manipulator is Mystique, pulling the strings with Arcade as her personal puppet. This episode is not very deep politically and there's not much of a...

X-Men Evolution's take on the Phoenix saga is a much lower-stakes high school story, but it still hits a lot of familiar beats to Jean Grey's portrayal in the comics and various adaptations. Although for whatever reason, this episode is more about Scott and Jean's high school boyfriend Duncan than it is about Jean. Also... Beast is here now??? And he has, like, six jobs. Anyway, this is a good epi...

Boom-Boom's bombing in! Tabitha Smith has finally arrived, which means Ryan gets to update his list of favorite X-Men. The X-Men Evolution version of Tabitha's backstory is not as dark as the comic book version but still features her escaping an abusive family, and deciding she doesn't like Xavier much, either. Who could blame her? X-Men Spotlight: Boom-Boom, obviously! Next week's episode: "Power...

Ryan and Maddy start up the second season of X-Men Evolution, in which Professor Xavier is a pompous know-it-all, but in a whole new and different type of way. "Growing Pains" gives our heroes some complex moral quandaries, and they don't have easy answers. Maddy and Ryan debate the ethics of Avalanche and Professor X in this episode, each drawing different conclusions about their motivations. One...

There are two gay bears inside of us all, one who's afraid and one who's proud. Which bear gets to grow big and strong? The one you feed, obviously. Oh, and there's also this other third bear. The Demon Bear. That one's gay too. If this is confusing, just wait until you hear about how all three of these bears factor in to the plot of The New Mutants (2020). Ryan and Maddy bring Todd back on the sh...

Why is this listener mail episode so long? Maybe that's just how it is, now. Anyway, on this week's listener feedback rundown, Maddy and Ryan talk about the various labels that we don't feel fit our sexualities, She-Ra and Steven Universe (again), and also try to cast all of the X-Men using only actors from the MCU films. Then there's a mega-long episode of The Mutant Ages: The Comic Book to round...

Maddy and Ryan have loved watching the first season of X-Men Evolution, but this season finale was... so freakin' weird. Magneto has kidnapped and/or coerced the strongest mutants he knows onto Asteroid M, and now he wants them to step into his special glowing pink chamber, which will elevate their mutant powers. But that's not all it does! If you're a teenager and you walk into this chamber, you...

Who even is Magneto on X-Men Evolution? Apparently, he's just Mr. Sinister, which means Maddy and Ryan aren't sure how to feel about him. In "The Cauldron Part 1," Scott learns his brother Alex was alive all these years, and so naturally, Xavier wants to recruit him. Magneto gets there first, but who knows how he found the time or resources to do that, because he's also busy building Asteroid M in...

Ryan and Maddy revisit Weapon X (again) in X-Men Evolution, although this show's writers seem just as disinterested in this particular storyline as we are. The framing device here is Kitty writing a LiveJournal entry (a.k.a. an email to her parents)about her and Kurt sneaking onto the Blackbird to follow Wolverine to Canada while he has a panic attack and/or gets mind-controlled. Instead of this b...

"Shadowed Past" is a real tearjerker of an episode, all about how Mystique feels like she can't be a good mother... and maybe she's right. Maddy and Ryan cried along with Rogue and Kurt for this sad journey through the psyche of Mystique, who finally reveals to Kurt that she's his mom, not that it goes particularly well. It may all sound heavy, but it adds up to be the best episode of X-Men Evolut...

Maddy and Ryan recorded a super-long listener feedback episode this week, featuring questions about Magneto and Xavier's politics and whether they would still work in a modern adaptation, analysis of which X-Men remind us most of ourselves, and also, listing off our favorite comics about Storm. The episode concludes, as always, with another thrilling episode of The Mutant Ages comic book. Visit ou...

Welcome to the Mutant Ages podcast, where we unceremoniously ring in our 100th episode by talking about Wolverine and Nightcrawler slashfiction. Okay, so we didn't realize this was our 100th episode while we recorded it, but it's still pretty special, right? So anyway, X-Men Evolution's "Survival of the Fittest" is about Mystique breaking Juggernaut out of jail to steal Cerebro and maybe also kill...

In "SpykeCam," Spyke's history teacher gives him a video camera and he immediately uses it to blow up Logan's spot with Sabretooth. And also to make gay music videos in the woods behind the X-Mansion. In other words, Spyke does exactly what Ryan and Maddy did with a video camera when they were his age. This episode is so gay, and sure, we say that every week, but for real this time. Next week's ep...

In "Turn of the Rogue," Professor Xavier finally reveals that he's a huge liar, although he takes his damn time to do it. Still, we're surprised he did it at all! Rogue gets her big turn in the spotlight this episode, showing off her martial arts skills as well as the fact that she can drive a snowmobile(???). Cyclops gets to be the damsel in distress, and also, Magneto makes a great cameo in this...

Trouble is brewing at Bayville High in the latest episode of X-Men Evolution! The high school's hottest couple, Kurt Wagner and Scott Summers, get into a big fight during lunch hour and Kurt ends up getting teleported into Silent Hill. He meets up with adorable teenage Forge, has a fling, and then has to figure out how to get back home to his boyfriend again. That's exactly what happens in this ep...

Get ready for another conversation about queer villains, because Pietro Maximoff is here, he's queer, and he's got a big crush on Evan Daniels, a.k.a. Spyke. We're finally back on solid ground with an X-Men Evolution episode that isn't actively upsetting, plus it's a Storm-centric episode, since new character Spyke is her nephew. Ryan and Maddy get to analyze some hard-hitting queer metaphors in t...

Ryan and Maddy dig into their email inbox, Twitter mentions, and Discord conversations for some discussions about Mystique and Mr. Sinister's queerness, mental health metaphors in the X-Men, and the question of how the MCU's reboot of the X-Men would portray a character like Magneto, now that we're getting so far away from World War II in our real-life timeline. We conclude, as always, with anothe...

In the fourth episode of X-Men: Evolution, we get introduced to Fred "The Blob" Dukes. This starts out as a promising story about someone who pushes back against his bullies, but then it spirals off into fatphobic garbage and negative stereotypes about fat people. Maddy and Ryan would not recommend that you watch this episode! But please enjoy us tearing it apart... including Ryan's mic sounding a...

Rogue has finally arrived, sugah dumplings, and she has two moms. Two terrible, terrible moms. Professor Xavier would be a better parent, but not by a lot, because he still sucks in this episode. Rogue has to figure things out for herself, as usual. The results are still pretty bad-ass even though she's just a kid. X-Men Spotlight: Destiny, a.k.a. Irene Adler (from Sherlock Holmes?!?!?!?) Next wee...

Enter Kitty Pryde and her valley girl accent on the second episode of X-Men: Evolution. Ryan and Maddy love Kitty even if she has, like, a totally tubular speech pattern. In this episode, Jean Grey and Xavier take the Blackbird to Illinois to recruit Kitty, but they soon get intercepted by teen bad boy Avalanche. Meanwhile, Cyclops and Nightcrawler are hot for teacher Wolverine... who is hot for S...

Ryan and Maddy settle in for the debut episode of X-Men: Evolution! But first, some reminiscing about the political climate during the time period that this show came out, and also our own experiences as teenagers watching this show. X-Men: Evolution is much more overt about its queer analogy, and also, it's just a damn good show. Oh... by the way? Professor Xavier's still a piece of shit. Just sa...