the Mudroom

A lot of us have been on lockdown for quite some time. Which has resulted in a lot of parents welcoming a new little one or are now expecting. 😉  Congrats!    That means your current child/ren are now becoming big siblings which can be simultaneously exciting and terrifying.   A new playmate and companion for your kids oooorrrr also more opportunity for possible fighting and c...

This is going to be a hard pill to swallow but a lot of the misbehaviour of our children isn’t actually them “losing their listening ears” or not being able to sit still and control their body. It might feel like they’re being monsters all the time but they’re likely not. A lot of misbehaviour isn’t actually our children misbehaving at all. It’s an adult’s unreasonable expectations about how they...

Now before you read the rest of this email I need you to take a deep breath and go into this with an open mind. Because I know when we hear anything about our child and bullies it immediately triggers those mama bear instincts. HOW DARE ANYONE HURT MY BABY. And I completely understand that feeling. It’s almost instinctual to immediately get ready to rumble when it comes to protecting your child. S...

We want and hope for our children to be able to make friends and be active and involved. So we try to encourage them to do fun things and get excited about their opportunities to make new friends and memories. We sign them up for soccer, we put them in those dance classes they’ve been so interested in, we poke our head into the classroom in hopes of catching a cute little glimpse of them laughing...

Have you noticed an uptick with your child being aggressive? As society sort of, kind of, creeps back into being social and our children are getting more interaction with others, a lot of parents are shocked to see their kids being more handsy than they expected. Parents understandably have quite a strong reaction when they see their children behave aggressively. It can be alarming to see your chi...

When was the last time you’ve sat down and watched a great movie with a mentor/mentee trope?   Like a Gandlaf and Frodo from Lord Of The RingsDumbledor and Harry PotterHaymitch and Katniss from The Hunger GamesAgent K and Agent J from Men in BlackMushu the Dragon and MulanAll great stories, and all of them have something in common.   When the main character doubted themselves, or even wh...

Do you know the kids cartoon The Rugrats? With Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, Lil, Susie, and of course, the infamous Angelica. Angelica is often portrayed as selfish, self-centered and motivated solely by how their little adventures would benefit her. Hear me out though...maybe we misunderstood and had developmentally unrealistic expectations for the 4 year old? Because in real life where infants and todd...

There´s no "but" in dyregulation Yes, I want to talk to you today about “buts”… Focus now. I’m not talking about the ass kind- I’m talking about the actual word “but” As in “I know my child is dysregulated BUT…” Or “I know they’re hungry BUT that’s not how they should behave…” And even “BUT my niece, or my 2nd child, or my neighbor’s cousin's playmate was able to handle that just fine…” It seems l...

You can feel it in the air, can’t you?    *Cue Mariah Carey music*    Target is bursting with holiday decor, everyone is playing holiday music, you’ll probably be getting Turkey handprints, Reindeer handprints, snowflake handprints, all the handprint crafts you could possibly imagine from your child’s school pretty soon too.  But with all that magic and joy there’s somethi...

Many Parents are trying to avoid this subject.   The big, bad, and often complex events of the past.   This is one of those conversation topics that can be...interesting to discuss with children.   Right up there with the “birds and the bees”.   Certain holidays/observations, something our child/ren saw on TV, a conversation they overheard, these can all spark curiosity and que...

Have you ever had that uncomfortable moment when you find yourself questioning a decision your child’s teacher made?   It might be over their disciplinary methods, homework or academic pressure, meal times… whatever the reason, sometimes we find ourselves on opposite sides of the playing field with the teacher and it’s an awkward position to be in.   My clients have come to me with vario...

Earlier is not always better. Let’s get really honest with each other right now.   It feels great to hear compliments about how smart your child is.  You might feel some pride when their teacher tells you they’re progressing faster than their peers.   Sure, maybe little Susie’s mom always looks put together during daycare drop-off, but guess who’s kid was counting first?  That’...

Trick-Or-Treat!   It’s looking like Halloween is going to be a little more treat than trick this year!    Whatever your plans are for Halloween is up to you and your family. I know it can look completely different depending on which part of the globe you’re reading this email from and your unique circumstances.    So what activities you should and shouldn’t be doing isn’t...

When we have children, the hope is that we can raise them to be good humans who respect others, persevere, and work hard. So when your toddler tosses the stuffed animal you offered to buy them because they want to $300 dollar playset instead, parents usually stare at them horror struck and think: Holy crap, I’m raising an entitled brat! Cue the overcrictism of what that means about our parenting a...

I’ve given plenty of advice and tips on how to handle attention-seeking behaviour. And I firmly stand by the advice I’ve given because I know it works. But here’s where the problem arises. When we try to apply methods meant to help with attention-seeking behaviour to some other type of behaviour you’re not going to see an improvement. It’s like using the wrong tool on a DIY project. You can keep t...

Behaviour Charts... They do not work! I’ve talked about it in the past but I’ve held off discussing it again until we got a little deeper into the school year because teachers usually wait until the class is settled before whipping them out of their supply closet. You’ve either seen them or know about them, maybe even had the “joy” of your teacher using one when you were in school. The most common...

It’s a heart wrenching situation, believe me- I understand.    You drive up to school/daycare, your child gets out with their little lunch box and water bottle with a bright smile that lights up your world.    You walk up to the teacher at the gate and give them a sympathetic smile because you both know what’s about to occur...  And that’s when you see your child’s express...

We’ve been in the trenches of COVID for a long time, friends, and I can’t stress it enough to parents.    No! Your child isn’t falling behind and there’s no need to go hire tutors to jam 2 years worth of academics into your child’s brain… But with that being said our children may need a little extra support with some socialization and other skills.    Not saying they’ve gone ra...

Here’s something I’ve noticed over and over again about “respectful” or “gentle” parenting.   This idea that in an effort to redirect behaviour or calm our children we need to talk.  We give options, and validate emotions, then try sportscasting, explaining, and on and on and on....   And the whole time the child is only screaming louder, they’re melting onto the floor in the middle...

It’s back to school time!! After over 18 months, most kids will be returning to in-person classes this fall. THIS IS NEW! We know that kids tend to see everything that's not familiar to them as potential danger, which means they're going to have to adjust to the new routine- and that takes a lot of energy. On this episode we'll discuss: - The concept of Restraint Collapse - How can we transition o...

When we make decisions for our kids we take a lot of factors into consideration: risk chief among them.   Over the last 30 years parents’ risk assessment has changed dramatically.    Why was it totally normal for children to play at the local playground unsupervised in the 80s, but now it’s considered neglect?   The No Child Left Alone study covers exactly this.    Wh...

Can you recognize the difference between your kid being regulated vs them being happy? Do you know how to help them manage their emotions, what's healthy and what isn´t? It's very common in this time for parents to mistake their children being calm with them being happy, they also seem to think that it's their job to make their children constantly happy. That's not necessarily true. It's okay for...

Have you heard of the zone of proximal development?  Do you know why your kid seems to need more support to perform certain tasks than others, and when it’s the right time to help them out? The zone of proximal development is that space between your child’s total independence and total support.  There’s a common misconception among parents where they think if a kid can’t do it by themsel...

Do your kids seem to be stressed out even while on vacation? Are you looking for ways to make it a more relaxing time? When planning a vacation it seems inevitable that the one thing we want to get is rest, but traveling with young kids can be difficult- they’re loud, stressed out and constantly asking for things. This is why it's important that we stick to our routine as closely as possible, as k...

Does your kid seem to be getting tired of their recreational  activities?    Can you tell the difference between them being over it and just needing a break?   Wanting your child to excel is common for many parents.  There's a difference between a child being done with an activity and them quitting when it just got hard. It's important to be able to recognize it.  &nb...