The Monster Smash

Your monster mommies are back from their Covid vacation to answer all your most burning questions! Regular episodes will resume in 2 weeks!

On this episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire are joined by Emily and Lizzy of the Tongue in Cheek podcast to read and dissect Love, Laugh, Lich by Kate Prior. They talk Janice the unhinged liar, thin plot, virgin to DP, intentional non-effort, live laugh love, book character therapy, OSHA compliance, corporate life, don’t fuck your boss just because you’re bored, keep your clothes on...

Christine here with a quick podcast update!

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect How I Met Your Moth-er by Miranda Sapphire. They talk the mothman legend, more cryptids less confederacy, hallucinations, understanding the trans experience, telling your child about your sex life, fuck transphobia, lighthouse keeper is our ideal job, all lighthouses are haunted, do lighthouses have Wi-Fi, Caucasian...

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect Stranded in the Satyr’s Garden by Cia Petrichor. Along with special guests Rob and Josh, they talk big time guests, Christmas in August, we traumatized our partners, Narnia porn, Christmas parties, Pan’s Labyrinth, creepy creeps, Draco Malfoy, no Scottish accents, Community, Ratagast, UK politics, goatman orgies, ma...

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect Have Tail, Will Travel by Nancey Cummings. They talk unhelpful covers, give us more smut, settling, go to therapy, taking your girlfriend and your wife to the same restaurant, arranged marriages, deep throating kebabs, experimenting with aliens, y’all are bisexual, dumb names, lice vs fleas, sturdy females, GO TO TH...

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire interview author Zoraida Cordova, aka Zoey Castile! They talk Zoraida’s new book Kiss The Girl a Little Mermaid retelling, book tours, what is a monster, different kinds of merpeople, Peculiar Tastes, Disney, the mouse doesn’t want sex, Kylo Ren, secret book announcements, Hannah Montana, Disney sequels, pearl necklaces, mermaid ana...

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect Mantras and Minotaurs by Ashley Bennett. They talk hoof daddies, insta-love, psychic damage, age gap romances, helping the young men out, “no strings attached”, dating stories, don’t tell us what to do, sex and attachment, widow etiquette, yarn crafts, weed and the vampire diaries, stoned Claire is a raccoon, phone...

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect the second half of Barbarian Alien by Ruby Dixon, the second book in the Ice Planet Barbarians series. They talk name pronunciation, real cliff hangers, Ewoks, baby hostages, hunting is boring, pushing jizz back in, what foreplay is, titty squeezes, bridesmaids, foreplaying, lies we tell during sex, dick rankings, t...

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect Barbarian Alien by Ruby Dixon, the second book in the Ice Planet Barbarians series. They talk being back in the saddle again, capital T trauma, daddy issues, parasites, waking up on alien planets, corporate ice breakers, does Ruby Dixon hate the French, forced parasite insertion, what families aren’t, baby batter, l...

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect Little Slice of Hell by Clio Evans. They talk Bdsm, bad matchmaking, morning dates, info dumps, glamours, choking over coffee, erotic art, informed consent, never go to a second location, public sex etiquette, public genitalia, confusing magic, horrible communication, instant connections, over dramatic demons, where...

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect A Polar Expedition: and Other Stimulating Research Opportunities by Kass O’Shire. They talk slow burns, steam punk, plus sized characters, excellent pet names, toilets in fantasy novels, Santa, the power of horniness, naked shifting, wasteful pants ripping, talking to yourself, petting dangerous animals, fantasy wor...

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire interview fairy godmother of the podcast, Ashley Bennett! They talk friendship, gateways into monster smut, normal peens, self doubting, gym showers, the omegaverse, character growth, bad fathers, chicken arms, future books, sapphic romances, traditional publishing, kindle unlimited, GoodReads reviews, bear fucking and DOGS! Plus th...

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect Cookies for My Orc Neighbor by Michele Mills. They talk orcs taking their brides in the dark of winter, robotic writing, Maine, Valentine’s Day is boring, winter sucks, petty complaints, snow storms, writing to serial killers, stalking isn’t cute, stop demonizing big boobs, social media quirkiness, leave pretty peop...

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect Tentacles & Triathlons by Ashley Bennett. They talk perfect sexual energy, subtle messaging, funny dedications, preface, horrible fathers, the woods are scary, fucking with a child, pedo-monsters, frat boy monsters, scuttling, your sister’s vagina, milfs, furries, no touchy, take-out frequency, geniuses, a plea to H...

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire are joined by special guest Elise to read and dissect Mirror Monster on My Wall by Tam M. Nicnevin. They talk orgies, representation, grooming, creepy dolls, magical shadow dildos, cunnies and quims, snake skin boots, too many limbs, too many eyes, tusks and mandibles, birthing hips, interesting reactions to blood, duckies, corsets,...

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect The Death God’s Sacrifice by Jenny Nordbak. They talk useless changes to Greek myths, stone dick and balls, orgasm magic, dartboard plotting, not very nice villains, Medusa 2.0, unwanted friends, having your whole vagina out, magic horny powder, what that tongue do, sexy accents, phonetic dialogue, dirt and seaweed,...

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect Extra Virgin Gargoyle by Honey Phillips. They talk halloween costumes, big incel energy, incredibly stupid miscommunications, how not to run a bookstore, instantaneous boners, endless paperwork, “research”, CEO’s responsibilities, Batman’s origin story, women’s pajamas, c*mming in your pants, gargoyle lore, inapprop...

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect The Sea Monster’s Mate by Delaney Rain. They talk trust fund babies, sunburns on your dick, leg cramps, squidbillies, tenacle details, netherholes, incubating alien eggs, having kids for the wrong reasons, a dick inside a dick, squidlings, baby birding, fish poop, Finding Nemo, yacht logistics, ink holes, alien fuck...

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect The Captive Merman’s Promise by Zoey Castile. They talk Claire’s merman infatuation, asshole cousins, vaginal pearls, tongue shaped vibrators, underwater cum rags, instalove done right, bisexual kings, contraceptive tea, levels of horniness, choking, spanking, shitting pearls, cheating fiancée’s, magical holes, and...

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect Morning Glory Milking Farm by C.M. Nascosta. They talk glory hole meet cutes, millennial angst, fisting, winking slits, weeping, French face slapping, vaginal moisturizing routines, weird lattes, milking machines, useless college degrees, grade A beef, occupational hazards, going commando, their love of farm animals...

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect The Orc from the Office by Kate Prior. They talk workplace romances, secret double lives, just how horny someone has to be to effect laundry cycles, low self-control, eating whole pizzas, tax returns for the undead, dick to ball ratios, monster spas, sex in elevators, and king konging buildings. Enjoy all you wolf b...

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect The Beast by Jenika Snow. They talk rivers of pre-cum, Disney porn parodies, leaking, mysterious slime, nubs, mouth bacteria, spitting and slapping, “beautiful” penises, coin shaped nipples, ball length contests, hook tongue, and sex in the woods. It’s a doozy folks! Where you can find us: Christine is @goodreads_re...

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect Monsters and Muscles by Ashley Bennett. They talk hot wolf buns, knotting, the genital habits of male models, inter-species pregnancies, cartoon wolves, red rockets, and their hatred of food in the bedroom. Enjoy all you Wolf-Mommies and Wolf-Daddies! Where you can find us: Christine is @goodreads_reviews on Instagr...

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire dissect The Dragon’s Bride by Katee Robert. This week, the ladies have a lot of important questions: how many balls does a double-dicked dragon have? Is a snake tongue girthy enough to fill a vagina? Why is it dripping and who’s cleaning those sheets? Where you can find us: Christine is @goodreads_reviews on Instagram Claire is @cla...