The Modern Meeting

In Part 2, I pick up where I left off on October 4, 2020. After a couple wins and being "up" early, the night turned into the kind of long and quiet downfall that defined so much of my gambling. Most of the footage is silent. Just me, a slot machine, and the delusion that this night was going to be different. As I watched it back five years later, I tried to put words to what was happeni...

On October 4 2020, during my last few weeks living in Las Vegas, I decided to record myself on what I planned to be my last night gambling. I wanted to capture what one of my typical nights in the casino really looked like. I filmed everything from start to finish — rambling to the camera about betting strategies, chasing losses, and dying a slow death at the Keno Slots. Five years later, in 2025,...

Adam is planning his exit strategy in Vegas. Jenn returns to discuss the differences between her first and second year in recovery as she's celebrating 2 years away from a bet. Adam and Jenn reflect on how their recovery has evolved, how to avoid "binge-recovery", and continuing to find balance in their lives. Adam recaps his time at the CCPG Conference in Hartford.  The Modern Meet...

Adam and Noah land in Las Vegas. Adam sits down with Tana Russell, Deputy Director of the Evergreen Council on Problem Gambling in Washington State — one of the most forward-thinking organizations in the country when it comes to awareness, training, and prevention. Tana shares how she entered the world of problem gambling support and she breaks down Evergreen’s approach to training clinicians, col...

In this week’s episode, it's all things Ellie. Adam sits down with his Mom to do a deep dive into his own and their family's history with addiction and gambling. Ellie didn’t grow up surrounded by gambling — but when the casino doors opened in Connecticut in the early ’90s, things changed. Gambling ran in her family, even if she didn’t gamble much herself. It was in her blood. She saw th...

Robert G joined Gamblers Anonymous in 1993, buried under a million dollars in debt and determined to turn his life around. Over three decades later, he’s still showing up — not just for himself, but for others. But Robert’s story isn’t one of perfection. It’s a story about what happens when life catches you off guard, when honesty slips, and when you’re forced to start over even after years of rec...

Out of Breath heads back East. Representing a growing wave of young men being pulled into gambling at an alarming rate, Adam sits down with Jon. A recently graduated D-1 college athlete, Jon placed his first bets in high school. Betting sports through bookies, playing online blackjack during school, and checking the lines before and after soccer practice -- John was developing a problem. When COVI...

The Casinos open back up and Adam has a rough weekend. Brian Ward is an International Gambling Recovery Specialist, IGCCB Board Approved Recovery Advisor, Certified Gambling Recovery Mentor, and SMART facilitator. He is also someone with lived experience. Growing up around gambling, it wasn’t until age 21 that a big win on Oregon’s VLTs set him on a dangerous path. What began as “easy money” becam...

Adam and Eric are Out of Breath. Adam sits down with Abdullah Mahmood, the Administrative Coordinator of the gambling program at Maryhaven. Abdullah shares what inspired him to enter the field, how he moved from chemical dependency into gambling disorders, and why he takes pride in educating himself to connect with those he serves—even without lived experience of gambling. The conversation explore...

Adam starts playing online poker again. Gail F sits down with Adam to tell her story. A compulsive gambler in recovery who for nearly two decades, she truly lived a double life. Gail started gambling in her late 30s, chasing escape through online casinos that were legal in Canada long before the U.S. What began as a way to numb stress quickly grew into a secret addiction that consumed everything....

The world shuts down and Adam shaves his head. Adam sits down with his cousin Matt to talk about a bond that’s been tested by time, addiction, and recovery. As kids, they only saw each other a few times a year — but when they both dropped out of college around the same time, their lives collided. For five wild years, gambling consumed everything: late night trips to the casino, sports bets they co...

Adam previews the beginning of the end with some clips from his past.   With addiction and recovery in her family, Jodie Nealley had her own struggles with alcohol until her late 30's. She stopped drinking and had years sober when she developed a gambling problem at the age of 50. This led to a two-year spiral that cost her hundreds of thousands of dollars, her relationships, and eventually h...

Adam and Hillary drive cross country. Adam sits down with Odessa Dwarika, Chief Programs Officer for the Massachusetts Council on Gaming and Health. Drawing from more than 30 years in public health and seven years at MCGH, Odessa shares insights on why gambling often goes underfunded compared to drugs and alcohol, the overlooked links between gambling and domestic violence, and the role organizati...

Adam says goodbye to MGM Springfield and consolidates his debt. Inspired by today's guest, Adam starts a research project. Rob Bumbaco is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Mental Coach, former Division 1 athlete, and is the COO of The Better Institute. He sits down with Adam to discuss how it was founded, his work specializing in cognitive behavioral therapy, as well as the unique...

Adam begins to prepare for another move. In Part 2 of Daniel's story, he arrives in Australia and it feels like a second chance. His credit was reset, his slate was clean, and for a while he stayed away from the casino. But in 2017, a new temptation appeared — Bitcoin. What looked like opportunity became another trap, drawing him into secrecy, lies, and manipulation to fund his trading. Even...

Adam starts looking for a way out. Daniel Bullen, host of the Addicted Recovery YouTube channel, sits down with Adam to share his powerful story of gambling addiction and recovery. Daniel began gambling at just 12 years old — horses, sports betting, and those infamous UK slot machines quickly pulled him into a destructive cycle. Over the years it had ruined relationships, as he found himself drown...

Adam can't even enjoy a 33-0 Patriots Win. Adam sits down with Linda, a mother of five and grandmother of 12, who for nearly 30 years, gambled "once or twice a year for 50 bucks." But in her mid-50s, after major traumas shook her world, casual play spiraled into compulsion. Soon, Linda was stealing from family to fund her addiction, drowning in shame, and even considering self-harm...

Deep in debt, Adam tries "The System," at the craps table. Adam sits down with Dan Spencer, Principal Consultant for EPIC Global Solutions. Dan shares his powerful journey through gambling addiction. From childhood exposure to betting, to forty-hour poker weeks, to a cliff’s edge where he nearly ended his life, Dan’s story shows the devastating pull of gambling addiction and the hope tha...

In Part 2 of Kim and Kurt’s story, the road to recovery gets even harder before it gets better. Kurt tries rehab and therapy, but nothing seems to stick—his gambling escalates, his drug use intensifies, and his parents are forced to face the painful truth: sometimes love means stepping back and letting consequences take hold. For Kurt, those consequences came in the form of an arrest and a weekend...

Adam has a disatrous 72 hours in Las Vegas. In the first part of a two-part conversation, Adam sits down with Kurt, a 22-year-old compulsive gambler in recovery, and his mother Kim. At just 11 years old, Kurt discovered a world hidden inside video games — where buying and trading skins quickly blurred into online gambling. What started as play soon escalated into winning thousands of dollars in mi...

Adam saves money...to gamble. In part two of Adam’s conversation with Dr. Nathan Smith, Executive Director of Research at Kindbridge Research Institute, the focus shifts to his work with veterans and military members and the fight to better understand problem gambling. Dr. Smith shares how Kindbridge is expanding research efforts far beyond what’s been done in the past for Veterans, why the lived...

Adam gets a promotion and hits another jackpot. Adam sits down with Dr. Nathan Smith, Executive Director of Research at Kindbridge Research Institute. Growing up as an affected loved one — his uncle’s struggle with substance use brought him into AA meetings as a young boy, offering support from the sidelines. Following in his parents’ footsteps as academics, he dedicated his career to understandin...

Adam is joined by his friend Eric. From meeting in 2017 at Twin River while Adam dealt to Eric on the poker table, to starting a pandemic podcast together, they had developed a strong bond over a short period of time. But over the years, Adam’s gambling addiction would test — and nearly break — that bond through loans, lies, and manipulation. We get to hear Eric’s side of the story, as they revisi...

Adam is NOT a Disney Adult...He's a Disney Enthusiast. Eric is a compulsive gambler in recovery. He recounts his early gambling experiences, the role his sexuality played in shaping his addiction, and the deep financial and emotional consequences that followed. Eric highlights the life-saving value of community and connection in recovery. Adam and Eric discuss the challenges within Gamblers A...

Adam rings in the New Year and this time he's not alone. Kitty Martz is the Executive Director of Voices of Problem Gambling Recovery. She's also someone with lived experience and is the Founder of The Lived Experience Collective. After starting over three different times, Kitty has found peace and purpose working in recovery. Adam and Kitty talk about what it means to be "clean now...