The Messed Up Gardener

January gardening can feel deceptively simple… and strangely exhausting. Whether you’re dealing with peak summer heat in the Southern Hemisphere or deep winter planning in the Northern Hemisphere, this episode is a calm, practical reset for tired gardeners who want clarity without pressure. In this episode, Esther walks you through seven reliable plants you can plant in January , no matter where y...

Gardening doesn’t always need motivation — sometimes it needs permission. In this quieter episode of The Messed-Up Gardener , Esther shares a gentle reset for overwhelmed, tired gardeners: three things you’re allowed to quit, three things you’re allowed to ignore, and three things you’re allowed to do badly — without guilt. Recorded during a heatwave and a low-energy day, this episode is a reminde...

The forecast has been acting like that dramatic friend who’s “being such a diva” every second day… and if you’ve ever rearranged your whole garden plan for “rain at 3pm” that never arrived, this episode is for you. In this mini masterclass, Esther breaks down a simple, realistic system for gardening when the weather is unreliable — without becoming a full-time meteorologist, and without your garde...

It’s Twixmas… that weird in-between week where time doesn’t exist, your diet is 80% snacks, and your garden has decided to grow 9cm overnight just to humble you. In today’s episode, I’m sharing what we’ve been up to on our little modern-homesteading adventure — harvesting elephant garlic , drying it in our very glamorous garage drying room, and turning not-quite-perfect dahlias into something surp...

If your garden currently survives on “thoughts and prayers” because you’re flat out with work, life, Christmas chaos, kiwifruit, H&S… and maybe even relocating a 8m plastic house because it’s basically a solar oven… this one’s for you. 😅 In this episode, we’re talking about how to design a garden for real life — not a gardening show. A garden that still looks good and produces food… even when...

Batch Gardening — Do the Work Once, Coast All Week - How to garden like meal prep — one big push, lots of lazy wins.  If you only have one decent chunk of time each week (or fortnight) to garden, this episode is your permission slip to stop feeling guilty and start gardening smarter. Esther breaks down “batch gardening” — a meal-prep style approach where you do the heavy lifting in one focused ses...

The Bare-Minimum Watering Plan — Keeping Plants Alive When You’re Running on Fumes”  A realistic survival guide for tired, overcommitted gardeners. You meant to water… and then work, kids, pets, emails, and life happened. By the time you remembered, it was dark and the guilt had already kicked in. If that sounds painfully familiar, this episode is for you. In this mini masterclass, I walk you thro...

Stop waiting for perfect conditions and grow something now. “We’ll really garden when we move.”  “Once we build the raised beds.”  “When I’ve got more time… next season.” If that sounds like you, this episode is your loving smack on the hand with a trowel. 💚 We’re talking about the gap between the perfect garden in your head and the scruffy reality out the back — and how to start now with just on...

Feeling like your garden is either drowning or turning into crunchy toast — sometimes in the same week? 😅 In this episode of The Messed-Up Gardener , I’m talking lazy mulching : the simple, real-world way to protect your soil, keep plants alive, and save your future sanity… even when you’re absolutely shattered. Between overflowing water tanks, heat waves, a shed-that’s-pretending-to-be-an-office...

Ever stared at a pile of weeds or kitchen scraps and thought, “Now what?” In this episode, Esther shares the simple 3-Bucket System — a no-stress, no-science-degree method for turning everyday garden mess into free, nutrient-rich compost and fertiliser. From overflowing water tanks to feijoa flowers and hubby’s booming flower beds, Esther kicks off with a real-life update from her own messy, abund...

Ever notice how some gardens just feel right? In this short and sunny episode, Esther unpacks one of gardening’s simplest design secrets — the rule of odd numbers. Discover why planting in threes, fives, or sevens creates flow and balance, how our brains naturally prefer a little imperfection, and when it actually pays to break the rule entirely. From hydrangeas to veggie beds, Esther shares real...

Hello and welcome to another episode of The Messed-Up Gardener! Today, we’re pulling back the netting (literally) to talk about the sneaky pollination problems that happen in greenhouses, tunnel houses, and bird-netted spaces — and the easy fixes that bring the buzz (and the fruit set) back. We’ll celebrate a little milestone too: this week marks three years since the show launched in November 202...

Hi & Welcome to another episode of The Messed Up Gardener Spring is in full swing here at The Messed-Up Gardener HQ—sunflowers about to pop, kiwifruit vines gearing up to flower, bees on overtime, and the greenhouse going bonkers. All that colourful, buzzy beautiful mess got me thinking about the trend taking root across NZ: Chaos Gardening . In this episode, I share what it is, why the wild w...

Ever wandered through a nursery, spotted the perfect tree , and thought, “One day… when I have my own land”? In this heartfelt episode, I share how hubby and I are building our future orchard right now — one barrel at a time. With over 100 tubs of citrus, raspberries, blueberries, feijoas, lilies, and dahlias thriving in pots, we’ve turned our rental into a “Barrel Army” and learned a ton along th...

It’s been one of those weeks  washing almost dry… and then it rains. Hubby’s flat-out with the bees, and I’ve been fighting off a chest/sinus bug (would not recommend). The silver lining? My happy place under plastic. Even on the rough days, a quiet potter in the greenhouse resets everything — which is exactly why today’s episode is all about unlocking the secrets of growing under cover. Step insi...

Spring is in full swing here at Shesther’s, and while the frosts are just behind us (fingers crossed past Labour Day!), the gardens and orchard are pumping out produce faster than we can keep up. Hubby’s been on frost duty with the incinerators, the kiwifruit are looking promising, and thanks to all that late-night effort, the veggie and flower beds are thriving too. But here’s the catch — harvest...

This week in the garden has been full of surprises — tomato flowers already popping, zucchinis producing their first harvest despite frosty mornings, and hubby’s sunflowers growing like they’re on steroids. We’ve even adopted a scruffy little black kitten who’s decided my husband is “his person” (much to his delight and my eye-rolling amusement). Between all that chaos and progress, I’ve been remi...

What a week it’s been! Between wild spring winds rattling our roof, chasing runaway bins down the orchard driveway, and watching trees topple across town, it’s been chaos out there. But amidst the gusts and garden madness, there’s also been joy—sunflowers planted, dahlias popping, capsicums cranking in the greenhouse, and the chickens back in full laying mode. This week’s episode is all about week...

What if your garden was hiding treasures you’ve been walking past every day? 🌱 In this episode of The Messed-Up Gardener , I’m digging into seven overlooked “goldmines” that can save you money, grow healthier plants, and make your garden feel abundant without another trip to the garden centre. From tired old potting mix that still has life left, to self-seeding volunteers, fallen leaves, kitchen...

Spring has officially arrived — but if you’re feeling a little behind in the garden (like I am this year after our big move!), don’t worry. In this week’s episode of The Messed-Up Gardener , I’m sharing how five tiny, under-20-minute tweaks can transform your garden in just five days.  We’ll talk about the power of micro-actions — the little shifts that deliver big rewards — and I’ll walk you thro...

Hello and welcome back to another episode of The Messed-Up Gardener ! I’m Esther Williams, your host, and as always — I’m absolutely buzzed to be here with you today.  Over the past two episodes, we’ve been digging deep into the Doomsday Garden Kit: what you’d pack if you had to grow food from scratch in a survival situation. And wow… the response has been incredible. You sent me so many questions...

Last week’s episode on the Doomsday Garden Kit got a huge response — and my inbox lit up with questions! One of you cheeky listeners asked, “Ok Esther, you’ve told us how to grow the food… but how do we actually cook it, store it, and not lose our minds while doing it?” Fair point — so today, we’re diving into Part 2. In this episode, I’ll walk you through:  🌱 Fuel & cooking (because you can’...

 What would you grab if you had to start your garden all over again — from scratch — in the middle of chaos?  In this episode of The Messed Up Gardener , I get real about resilience, self-sufficiency, and the not-so-crazy idea of a gardener’s doomsday kit. From heirloom seeds (your real survival currency) to low-tech tools, soil starters, water hacks, and even what’s worth bartering when the shelv...

Hello and welcome to another episode of The Messed-Up Gardener —your go-to podcast and mini masterclasses for all things gardening! I’m your host, Esther Williams, and I’m absolutely buzzed to be here with you today. In this episode, I’m inviting you to pause, reflect, and give your garden (and yourself) a seasonal mindset reset. Whether you're knee-deep in weeds or quietly sipping tea while...

This week’s episode is bursting with everything you need to know to get a jumpstart on your spring garden — even if your backyard currently looks like a soggy mess! Join me, Esther Williams, as I walk you through exactly what to plant, prep, plan, and prioritise in the first week of August so you don’t end up scrambling when spring finally hits. From garlic planting before the “oops window” closes...