The Lulu Essey Podcast

You know what you need to do - so why can't you make yourself do it? If you've been beating yourself up for not taking action, thinking you're lazy or lacking willpower, this episode will change how you see yourself. The gap between knowing and doing isn't a willpower gap. It's a safety gap. Your nervous system is doing its job - protecting you from perceived danger. In th...

Feeling stuck when your life looks fine on paper? That low hum of anxiety, that sense something's off - it's often a sign your values are out of alignment with the life you're living. This episode explores what I call being a "Quiet Misfit" and offers a simple mental fitness tool called the Honest Naming to help you stop judging yourself and start building self-love and se...

Feeling overwhelmed by all the New Year pressure? Drowning in goals, resolutions, and "new year, best you" messaging? What if you only needed two things to guide your entire year? January is loud. Everyone's telling you to set goals, build habits, transform your life. And maybe you want that. Or maybe you're exhausted just thinking about it. This episode isn't about replac...

Do you struggle to love yourself? Do you know you're supposed to practice "self-love" but have no idea what that actually means? Do you feel like no matter what you achieve, it's never quite enough? Here's what nobody's telling you: Loving yourself might be the quietest thing you ever do. And also the most powerful. 2025 has been hard. For so many of us. Some of us lo...

Running on fumes in December? Feeling like you should be "finishing strong" but you're barely making it through each day? Sluggish, foggy, ready to hibernate - while the world tells you to push through and whatever you do, don't lose momentum now? Here's what nobody's telling you: You're not failing. Your body is doing exactly what it's designed to do. Winte...

Have you spent your whole life trying to fit in? Are you the square peg in a round hole - exhausted from trying to smooth your edges, straighten your lines, and be more like everyone else? Do you feel like your difference is a flaw you need to fix? What if it's not? What if the parts of you that don't fit are actually your greatest gifts? This episode explores the "wiggly line philo...

Most gift guides tell you what to buy. This one invites you to rethink what it truly means to give. As the holiday season ramps up, many of us feel the pressure to spend more, do more, and prove our love through price tags. But the gifts that create the deepest connection - the ones we remember years later - rarely cost anything financially. They cost something far more meaningful: our presence, o...

WHY DOESN'T ANYONE TEACH US MENTAL FITNESS BASICS? You know how to exercise your body. You know consistency builds strength. So why doesn't anyone teach us the same fundamentals for your mind? Most of us were never taught Mental Fitness 101. We overcomplicate it. We wait for the perfect method. But Mental Fitness works exactly like physical fitness - you just need to know what to do. Eve...

FEELING GUILTY FOR JUST SURVIVING? This episode reveals why coping mode isn't failing, the critical difference between coping and healing, and why accepting where you are is what actually creates change.  If you're beating yourself up for not healing fast enough or wondering why you can't just get over this already, I need you to hear this: Coping mode is not a failure. It's no...

IS POLITICS DESTROYING YOUR RELATIONSHIPS? Navigating ideological differences, setting boundaries with love, and staying connected without betraying your values.   The table went silent. The air got thick. One comment about a politician, and suddenly, connection fractured. If you're losing relationships over beliefs right now, you're not alone. And this episode is for you. Inspired by Br...

Self-Love isn't soft-it's the missing infrastructure for sustainable success in every area of your life, including your career. This essential blueprint explores how to build self-worth & career resilience while navigating professional exhaustion, preventing burnout and self-depletion. This raw conversation with Deb Boulanger when I was interviewed on her Life After Corporate Podcast...

When your Mental Fitness tools stop working. Permission to rest without guilt. What happens when every practice you've built - journaling, breathing exercises, morning routines, tiny promises - suddenly feels impossible? This raw episode was recorded during my own Mental Fitness struggle. Sometimes the most radical act of Mental Fitness isn't pushing through. It's stopping. Not quit...

Self-Love, Imperfect Action, and Comparison vs Modeling — what 50 episodes taught me about consistency, external validation, and showing up anyway.   Fifty episodes. Still no music. Still showing up anyway. This milestone episode isn’t about what I’ve “figured out.” It’s about what’s become clearer through the practice of just keeping going. If you’ve ever felt “not ready,” compared yourself to ot...

You know your thoughts create your reality. You've heard it everywhere: Instagram, TikTok, every podcast, every book and workshop promising transformation "in minutes." You get it. You understand it. You KNOW it's true. So why hasn't your life changed? Here's the truth most content skips: awareness isn't the finish line. It's the starting line. And the hard...

You’re probably not blocked, you’ve just forgotten how to play. Forgotten that creativity is part of who you are, whether you know it or not. This week, Lulu throws open the windows and lets fresh air flood in. Together, we reimagine creativity as mental fitness in motion : a daily act of presence that keeps your brain flexible, your heart lighter, and your hope alive. From AI anxiety to childhood...

Everything feels heavy right now. The world, your life, maybe both. And here's what nobody's saying: you're close to breaking. Not dramatically, quietly. One more thing might crack your foundation. This conversation is 43 minutes which is longer than my usual episodes. That's intentional. When everything feels too heavy, you don't need another quick pep talk or surface-lev...

If your to-do list is running your life instead of serving it, this is your purposeful rebellion. Lulu shows how productivity culture becomes identity, why the “productivity guilt spiral” isn’t laziness but being human, and how to shift from productive to purposeful. You’ll get Permission to Pause, the 60-Second Mental Fitness Check, and the Good Enough Revolution (80% > “perfect”) so you can u...

 When your Mental Fitness hits empty and the usual routines stop helping, this episode reframes it as information, not a personal failure, and gives you simple ways to feel steadier without forcing yourself. This is not about doing more, which adds to your overwhelm but about doing different.   This episode was born from my own experience of hitting the red zone, and I’d like to offer what works w...

When self-care turns into self-criticism. From sleep score stress to fitness tracker guilt and the quiet weight of wellness burnout , this episode explores how health tracking and optimization can quietly become another form of self-attack—and how to reclaim self-care as compassion instead of a report card. In this episode, I share why I returned my unopened Whoop band and how wellness perfectioni...

2.7 billion people on YouTube. 37 watched my last video. This is what happens when the person teaching self-love gets dunked in self-doubt. In this unscripted, unedited episode, I take you behind the mic with no script, no polish, just the messy truth about finding and holding onto your worth, dropping numbers, and why showing up matters most when it feels like things are falling apart. This isn&a...

What if your most profound healing begins when you stop allowing trauma to write your story? You are so much more than the worst things that have happened to you. In the final part of this Trauma and Healing Series with Hawa Who from KEEPCALM.ORG we explore the most transformative shift of all: moving from “this trauma is who I am” to “this trauma is part of what shaped me.” Recorded during my own...

What does it take to keep building emotional resilience and healing when life keeps getting harder? In Part 2 of this raw series with Hawa Who from KeepCalm.org , we explore the practical side of living with trauma  : how to build emotional resilience, find safe spaces for healing, and navigate setbacks without losing hope. This conversation was recorded during my own mental health relapse in Apri...

What happens when the most important conversation of your life happens in the middle of a mental health relapse? In Part 1 of this powerful three-part series, I share an unfiltered conversation on trauma, healing, and resilience that might change the way you see your own story. During my mental health relapse back in April, I sat down with Hawa Who from KeepCalm.org for a conversation that became...

Ever left a conversation feeling completely drained, like you’re carrying someone else’s sadness, stress, or anxiety, and you don’t know how it happened? If you're the one people lean on but your nervous system feels like it's always on high alert, this episode is your reset. In this final part of our powerful Mental Fitness series, Lulu explores the art of emotional boundaries . You’ll...

Ever felt like Confidence and Joy were things you had to earn—by achieving more, pleasing everyone, or performing perfectly? In this episode, I share the science that flips that myth on its head. You’ll learn why real Confidence and genuine Joy aren’t achievements—they’re natural states you access when you stop pretending and start being authentically yourself. Backed by the neuroscience of Dr. Am...