The Latchkey Kids

If you were an elementary school student in the 1980s, what was your biggest fear? Nuclear holocaust? Satan worshippers? Trickle-down economics? No, silly, it was STRANGER DANGER, the pervasive and crippling fear that a creepy stranger was going to offer you free candy to take a ride in his windowless van (unless you were Dr. Amy and then your biggest fear was E.T., for some reason).

Fred Rogers — who was NOT a Navy Seal sniper during the Vietnam War — made a generation of children feel seen and heard. His grace, honesty, earnestness and calm made us feel safe, and he taught us the importance of our own voices. Enjoy this episode — including Dr. Amy's fun facts — about the American saint in the red cardigan sweater. 

Aaron and Dr. Amy had many favorite teachers over the years, of course, but one of their absolute favorites was the TV! Reading Rainbow host Lavar Burton had a hold over Dr. Amy that still exists to this day, and if it weren't for Sesame Street, there's no way Aaron would be able to count to twelve. Who was your favorite Sesame Street character and why was it Mr. Snuffleupagus?

What was the absolute NUMBER ONE television game show to watch when you were home sick from school? (HINT: There is only one correct answer to this question and it involves an elderly, white-haired gentlemen holding a tiny microphone on a stick). 

Ahh, who can forget the brilliant musical stylings of 1980s pop legend Tommy Tutone, right? What's that? You don't remember Tommy Tutone? Well, you definitely remember his one humongous hit song (HINT: it's a phone number!). In this episode, Aaron and Dr. Amy count down — and sing! — your favorite one-hit wonder songs of the 80s. Come with us and sing along. 

It has been a legend in Latchkey Kids family lore for some 40 years: Dr. Amy's precious Strawberry Shortcake doll — which she loved dearly for its aromatic strawberry scent and its weird Amish bonnet — was defaced by mean old brother Aaron, who took a pair of scissors and gave the innocent little doll a ruby red punk rock mohawk haircut. Aaron says this whole story has been fabricated and exaggera...

Did you ever pay $29.99 to pose with a fresh makeover — and maybe a feather boa — for Glamour Shots at your local mall? If you did, were you then able to transfer your newfound glamour into a position with a 1980s hair band? If you answered yes to either of these questions, this episode is for you.

In this first installment of a two-part celebration of the career of Jennifer Grey, we look back at "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," John Hughes's love letter to Chicago, in which Ferris and Cameron and Sloane set off on an epic madcap day-long dash through the Windy City, fulfilling the wildest fantasies  of truant ne'er-do-wells like Aaron. Fortunately for Ferris and Aaron, they had respons...

Have you ever tried to come up with a Top 20 list of all the important events that defined the 1980s? Well, we did! And it was NOT easy, that's for sure. For starters, where do you put Michael Jackson doing the moonwalk on national TV among the Iran/Contra affair and the fall of the Berlin Wall? See?! It's basically impossible. 

Trapper Keepers, scratch-n-sniff stickers and four-color pens, oh my! Aaron and Dr. Amy STILL keep organized with some classic 1980s school supplies. But the perms, feathered bangs and ozone-depleting amounts of Aqua Net are, thankfully a thing of the past. 

It's a rainy Sunday afternoon and there's nothing on TV except black-and-white Westerns and The 700 Club. What's a latchkey kid to do? Well, clear off the table and pull out your favorite board game, that's what! FUN FACT: Most board games — approx. 62% based on mathematical calculations — were invented by rock superstar David Bowie. True story. 

Just like roller rinks were nightclubs for 13-year-olds, the mall was THE place to be for teenagers in the 1980s. The fashions, the music, the sweet smell of Cinnabon saturating the air-conditioned atmosphere. And if you were lucky, you could catch a live show of Tiffany and/or Debbie Gibson at your local mall. Were they sisters?

Here's the story ... of Aaron and Dr. Amy ... who were watching ten hours of TV every day ... but there was one show ... better than the others ... and that's what this podcast episode is about. 

Aaron and Dr. Amy never had First Lady Nancy Reagan visit their house for a one-on-one "very special" conversation about the horrific dangers of drugs BUT we did see it on "Diff'rent Strokes" AND we had our weekly D.A.R.E. sessions to fill us with fear. But how effective was D.A.R.E., anyway? Was it a vital part of the War On Drugs? Or an elaborate and expensive way to distribute pencils and stick...

Unless you are a perfect angel like Dr. Amy, you knew that "I'm about to get in trouble" feeling when you were a kid. The sinking pit in your stomach, the wild and desperate ideas to undo what's been done, and then the very worst of possible consequences: hearing your poor mother tell you how disappointed she is in your behavior. In this week's episode, Aaron relives a few of his greatest hits of...

Whenever Aaron and Dr. Amy were able to scrape together a dollar or two, there was never any question over what we would do with it. We would immediately ride our bikes down to the local Circle K convenience store and spend every last dime on sweet, delicious candy, of course! Red Vines, Fun Dip, Whatchamacallit ... you name the candy, chances are that we were into it. Also, what it the correct wa...

BOOKS! Aaron and Dr. Amy LOVED reading so much (Aaron enough to risk the lives of his entire family for a few late night hours flipping through the latest Choose Your Own Adventure book). For Amy, trips to the Mesa Public Library often lead to the same place — The Baby-Sitters Club. 

Sing it with us! THE SUN'LL COME OUT ... TOMORROW! BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR THAT TOMORROW ... THERE'LL BE SUN!!! The glitz, the music, the outfits — on this week's episode of The Latchkey Kids, it's Annie, the first film that Amy — who may or may not be an actual orphan, who can say? — became COMPLETELY obsessed with. 

There was nothing quite like the thrill of waking up EXTREMELY early on a Saturday morning and leaping out of bed, knowing the next several hours of your life would be filled with sugary cereals and ALL of your favorite cartoons. But while we were all geeking out on The Jetsons, Rainbow Brite and He Man: Masters of the Universe, what were our parents doing in their bedroom?

On this week's VERY SPECIAL episode of The Latchkey Kids, it's the King of Pop himself. Regardless of the lens through which you may view Michael Jackson now, there is no question what he meant for all of us latchkey kids back in the 80s, when Thriller was our anthem and everyone (especially Aaron) was trying to perfect their Moonwalk. 

What was your go-to shoe back in the day? Did your parents spring for the Air Jordans you so desperately craved? Or were you (like Amy) sporting the cheap plastic Jelly sandals in all their glory? Also, did anyone else spend an inordinate amount of time trying to master the windmill on a piece of cardboard in the driveway, or was that just Aaron?

If you grew up a latchkey kid in the 80s, you most likely consumed a RIDICULOUS amount of television. "TV was our mom," says Aaron. "It was our god. It was the central point of the entire house." This week on The Latchkey Kids, two of our absolute favorite wonderful, terrible TV shows from our childhood; The Problematic Dukes of Hazzard and Jem and Digitally Manufactured Holograms. Get ready to si...

If you were alive and over the age of five in 1983, you DEFINITELY remember Cabbage Patch Kids. They were hideously ugly, covered in pantyhose (?), and each one was different and very special. You would think Amy would remember the name of her prized Cabbage Patch Kid, wouldn't you? Well, dear listener, YOU'D BE WRONG. Also, what the hell was up with the cinnamon toothpick fad in middle school?

Ahh, the endless freedom of the bicycle ... riding down the street, handlebar tassels streaming in the breeze as you bask in the freedom of movement. And then BAM! Amy goes face first right into a mailbox, and you start to think maybe having her ride on the handlebars wasn't such a good idea after all. BIKES on this week's episode of The Latchkey Kids, and what do you remember about school lunches...

The dark lighting, the throbbing beats, the licorice ropes ... were roller rinks really just "nightclubs for 13-year-olds?" Also, how Amy and Aaron spent their summers sucking down juice box slushies and swimming in bathtub-temperature pool water at the Mesa YMCA.