The Kevin Miller Podcast

In the world of self-help and psychology there are people who have made certain topics a household term. Gary Chapman made love languages famous. Henry Cloud is the grandfather of boundaries. Eckhart Tolle helped us conceive of the ego. And Melody Beattie is why we know about codependency, due to her classic tome, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself. I...

I experience our culture growing more and more fearful of unexpected and undesired change. If you were to look back on your life and make a list of all the unexpected and undesired changes you have experienced in your life, I bet it’s fairly long. I would ask you to consider why you think many more unexpected and undesired changes aren’t ahead of you. But what I see is that when you have anxiety a...

Let’s say we are going to build a house. Think of all the roles and activities there are to fulfill. Designing the home. Clearing the land and building a foundation. Building the home, which includes framing, plumbing, electricity, roofing, and more. Putting the finishing touches on it, such as trim. Then buying furniture and interior design. Landscaping. Each role and activity embodies a differen...

On my own journey of connecting with myself and everything else, I find everything to seem richer and clearer and just more fulfilling. The base level pleasures of life don't satisfy as much. So when this book came across my desk, I was immediately interested. The book is, Undimmed: The Eight Awarenesses For Freedom from Unwanted Habits. The author is mother, investor, advocate, and founder, Cecil...

I seem to be a natural optimist. And as the former host of The Ziglar Show podcast, greatly appreciate Zig Ziglar’s famous quote, “Positive thinking won't let you do anything, but it will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.” That said, I now realize I spent a lot of my life as a father, husband, and friend, not always connecting with people when they were hurting or strugglin...

In my experience, you can accomplish a lot of production by just working like a slave. Day in and day out. The world and most people will applaud you for it. But as I’ve stepped back from being a professional “doer” and given my attention to much more “being,” I’m realizing my fulfillment in life at large just increases. And my connection to myself, the world, and everyone keeps getting deeper. Fu...

The ideas of time management and efficiency have never interested me much. I’ve always found them to feel constraining and tiring. But I also can’t claim I use my time as wisely as I could. In this episode we take some of our normal concepts of time to task and bring them into focus in accordance with what we actually value. My guest is Richie Norton and this was his second appearance on my podcas...

To make this statement, which is subjective, we need to clarify what we mean by self-worth. I have nine kids. Did they have any worth as infants? Or no, because they hadn’t earned their self worth  yet? How about as toddlers? Kindergartners? My belief is they were born with self worth. They deserve to have value in the world just because they exist. I think of the Rocky Mountains I live in. I don’...

I continue to research human communication and find the vast majority of everything we communicate is subjective. We are seldom discussing facts and right, wrong, black, white issues. They may feel so to us, but if pressed we’d need to admit that what we are arguing or advocating for is not fact. The topic or issue is not unanimously proven. But it’s efficient to just cite our perspective as truth...

In your younger years, you may have thought about your future self. I always wanted to be 30 and I would envision what it would look and feel like. I ultimately became 30. There I was. But I did not arrive and become the ultimate “Kevin” at that point. Five years passed and I became 35 and thought about how far I had come since 30. And this continues happening. As of this recording I just turned 5...

You’ve likely heard the parable of two brothers with an alcoholic dad. One brother becomes an alcoholic, blaming his father and stating, "What else could I do?” While the other brother becomes a teetotaler, blaming his father and stating, "I watched my dad, and don’t want to end up like him.” We all have things that happen in our lives, and we create a story about it, based around a perspective we...

In this episode we talk a lot about running. But I want to expand it to all of you who spend a good amount of time outside in the elements. This isn’t a discussion to should on anyone, but just to share the value we’ve found in going outside, year around, braving the elements and the discomforts of our own bodies. What we gain, what we learn. So if you ride a bike, hike, swim, even walk, I think y...

In today’s culture I feel we have conflated beliefs with facts. I view us as a culture at war with our perspectives. We are seldom arguing about literal facts. Look at the news headlines, social media, and any reporting entity and you find great polarization and emotion around issues. And what is generally being debated is again, not fact, but belief. Belief we grow to thinking is actually fact, e...

Surveys show there are more people in therapy than ever. On one hand I feel there is more benefit in talking with someone than not. And on the other hand I’m concerned whether all the therapy is paying off. Statistically, mental health continues on a decline. So when I heard about SFBT therapy, I intrigued myself. SFBT is Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, defined as a goal-oriented, short-term appro...

In 2022 I was deep into therapy regarding my marriage and myself. My counselor at the time recommended a book, “​​I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression,” by a therapist named Terry Real. I read the book and opened up a whole new level of understanding about myself. Terry then released a book titled US: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relation...

If I asked you why we communicate with others, what would your reply be? I think my mind initially went to sharing information. But as you will soon hear, my guest cites that only 15-18% of our daily communications are about mere information. What is the primary reason we communicate then? We communicate to connect with others. My interest then is considering how much of my communication actually...

I find it rare for anyone to make a big deviation from their normal routine. We work hard to get ourselves to a place where we are managing our lives with stability. We get routines and schedules that feel comfortable, safe, and efficient. I’m growing to appreciate seasons of this lifestyle. And yet, I find a danger of getting into a rut that is hard to break out of, and our minds can get lazy. Br...

There are plenty of rags to riches stories, that while I honor greatly, don’t specifically stand out to me. But this one…this one did. Andre Norman wasn’t just in prison. And maximum security prison at that. He ran the prison. He was king of the inmates and ran gang activities from within the prison walls. He was granted immunity from most all the rules and regulations by the guards. Then on his w...

We are all aware of the primary categories of our emotions, such as joy, trust, fear, surprise, happiness, sadness, surprise, anticipation, anger, and disgust. But I grew up thinking some of those were good and desirable, and some were bad and to be avoided at all cost. You are either being positive or negative. Now that I’ve let myself freely allow and marinate in so-called “negative” emotions, I...

As humans, we are governed by our core beliefs, many of which we aren’t even aware of. There are so many things we believe to be true and so many foundational concepts of our perception we never question. So in this episode, we’re going to question them. Ram Dass was an American Spiritual teacher, psychologist, and writer. He gained popularity in the early 1960s by bringing concepts of consciousne...

Most of us have a daily plan that includes a routine of productive habits. Sometimes the plan happens. And you have a few days, maybe even a week of things running smoothly. Then there is an interruption. And all of the sudden days have gone by and your plan hasn’t happened at all. At the top of this list is often our habits regarding eating and exercise. In all our areas of life where we seek to...

Have you ever had an emotion from a past trouble or trauma resurface out of nowhere? I feel we talk about it often, that you encountered something and out of nowhere it seems, you felt overcome with sadness or anger or nostalgia from something you had forgotten about or thought you were over. My guest today explains a theory that the unresolved emotions actually exist as wounds of energy in our bo...

We are in a culture where it seems success is about being in the spotlight. Everyone must be a content creator. Everyone must become a known personality. Everyone must grow a platform, be on stage, and perform. But I don’t find this strategy tenable or reasonable. Not for everyone. I feel we are treating business like baseball and telling everyone they must be the pitcher. Baseball works because o...

I continue to interest myself with the concept of “attachments.” How and why we attach to anything. In this episode, I’m focusing specifically on relational attachments again. The concept is that in our childhood, we learned how to best attach to our primary caregivers and others. As no parent or caregiver or person is perfect, we have to hypothesize that nobody learns how to attach in perfect hea...

How will you age? Whether you are in your late twenties, fifties, or late eighties, everyone feels they are getting older. Of course we are chronologically getting older, so is a child, but we view children as growing older and better. Earlier and earlier these days however we view every day getting older as a negative and we expect to be less capable. Should this be the case? And how is the negat...