The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project

A woman has a baby with a sperm donor instead of her boyfriend, a man is arrested for kissing unsuspected sunbathers butts, and a man is covered in poop after a passing plane. 

A house where a teen brutally murdered his mom and sisters has a graphic halloween display, a man was indicted for swinging a machete during an argument and a New Zealand city wizard was taken off payroll. 

It's amazing that this is even getting posted right now. 

An Alabama man was found sleeping in a press box amidst chicken fingers, candy and meth, a drunk man joins a search party looking for himself and a man dressed up as a ninja attacked special ops soldiers. 

A Man poos out of his privates and ejaculates from his bum due to rare condition, a haunted house actor stabs an 11 year old in the foot while trying to scare him and some gorillas surprise some on lookers at the zoo.     

A teen gets a USB chord stuck inside his penis, a Texas mother interrupts a school board meeting to talk about anal sex and a woman finds out after 9 years that her gynecologist is her biological father. 

What is your favorite bodily function? A Utah woman gets scammed into shaving her head, two teens are caught twerking and kissing on a dementia patient and a rapper surgically implanted gold chains into his skull. 

A man tosses his penis out a window during a police car chase, our favorite pansexual body builder is back, and a woman is found guilty after hiding 26 kids behind a false wall at a daycare facility. 

A Russian man mistook a man for a bear and killed him, a zoo banned a woman for having an affair with a chimp and a man died after gluing his penis shut because he forgot a condom. 

Paw Patrol the movie is out now! Would we host jeopardy? A Zambian pastor died after being buried alive for three days, a man killed his grandma with a piggy bank and a Canadian soldier is in trouble for giving pot brownies to troops during a live fire exercise. 

A Florida mom was shot by a toddler live on a zoom call, a woman marries a man convicted of killing her brother and three brothers die after passing out in a manure pit. 

Two brothers hit and killed by train at a memorial for their third brother hit and killed by train. 

Matt Damon stops using the "F" slur, an aunt drives a car for a year with kids stuffed in the trunk and Canadian authorities mistake a woman's body for a mannequin and toss it in the dumpster. Yikes. 

An 18-month-old floats out a mile into sea, a man nearly masturbates to death, and some parents are disgusted about a rainbow reading monkey actor.

Athletes at the Olympics are sleeping in cardboard anti-sex beds. A student uses a Hitler quote in his yearbook and a Florida Bath & Body Works thief uses bear mace to attack people at a mall. 

The World's first elderly sex robot is created with wrinkles and grey hair. A man is bitten by his neighbor's escaped python while sitting on the toilet and a hot California correctional officer sentenced for "depraved" sex with inmates. Oh and Juvenile creates a banger, "VAXX that thang up" for a dating app.

Mailbag - but voice memo style. 

A fan causes a horrific tour de France crash, a woman claiming to have 10 babies is caught lying and a redneck rave ends in impalement. 

SEAWEED IS DEAD. 

Anthony almost got scammed - if it weren't for Gregg and Erica yelling at him before the show. We'll all have diarrhea after this episode. 

We're all playing checkers while this woman in the storm drain is playing chess. 

Anthony, Gregg and Erica are in person for the first time in months and hilarity ensues. It's Rummy's Gotcha day! 

It's all elbows and eyes on this week's episode of JRVP. A cop mistakes a 2 year old's ashes for meth, the M&M store is held at knife point, and a dead body is found inside a dinosaur statue. 

Gregg and Anthony talk about their week and what they've been up to. Anthony talks about comedians pitching their cities for him to move to and Gregg needs some help with getting his daughter to like fresh air. Eric Andre once set off fireworks on Anthony's set and he talks about if he was really mad before getting to the headlines of the week. A two year old shot both of his parents, a woman fake...

Anthony and Gregg are together again to talk about how Gregg is too old to sleep over at a party and Anthony's getting back into standup. Anthony asks how Gregg totally fumbled Mother's Day and gives some advice as to how he should have handled it. Anthony talks about reading and writing comics before getting into some light, airy headlines like a boy hit to death over a cheesecake, a youtube vide...