The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project

Anthony and Gregg have a huge announcement: THE NOID IS BACK. Gregg's segment was cut short on tv and Anthony gives his advice on what he would do. We list what brand's social media we'd love to take over before getting into headlines of the week. Josh Duggar is back in the news, a wedding is God's Will, and a teenager accidentally moves into a retirement community. Choo Choo! 

Anthony is back doing standup and Gregg is preparing for the NFL Draft. Anthony talks about what it's been like performing live again and Gregg asks for some advice on his son Walker not wanting to participate during birthday parties. Could JRVP merch be in the near future? A man bowls with his fathers ashes, another baller skips work for 15 years, and a bunch of people named Josh battle it out.

Anthony and Gregg talk about this historic day in American History. Gregg is making the most of his alone time at home and Anthony gives some advice on how to make the time go even quicker. Is improv comedy cooler than standup? We chat penis girth, sexy teachers and a huge, huge, huge rabbit.

Anthony and Gregg are back after their live show to talk about what they've been up to. Rummy had a large bird in his mouth that scared Anthony, Gregg hasn't been sleeping much at all, and Anthony talks about when he worked at the ArcLight theater. Anthony is looking forward to getting back on the road and Gregg is worried that he isn't happy with the podcast. A man is caught using an Elmo for ple...

Anthony and Gregg went to dinner together for the first time in a year, and Anthony's dog hates Gregg so much that he made him go home.  Anthony and Gregg battle for who will donate sperm to Erica. We find out "What Would Anthony Do" when an elephant takes a giant piss. Headlines this week include Lil Nas X grinding on Satan, a coach being fired for using slurs as play calls, and a jockey bei...

JRVP has a big announcement that you can't afford to miss for their 100th episode. Anthony watched the Zack Snyder cut twice and Gregg had to explain to his children "death" to his children. The World Record holder (almost) for masterbating is in some hot water in Australia, a young girl was shot over a clogged toilet and a man is suing a company for using his mother's body for bomb testing.

Anthony and Gregg talk about what life will be like after Covid restrictions lift, Anthony's family is in shock over a sad story that happened this past week, and a listener questions how Anthony and Gregg find new and exciting books. JRVP is back with another segment of "What Would Anthony Do starring Eddie Murphy and Dan Aykroyd. A man propped up his dead wife with sunglasses to trick their kids...

Anthony and Gregg are back to talk about being respectful and what they would do in each other's shoes in a new segment (title work in progress). A funeral home is getting some free labor, Papa John is doing the work to clean up his vocabulary, and a Pastor is telling wives that they are too fat and butch. 

Anthony and Gregg talk about their week and what it's like to work with the funniest man alive. Anthony thinks having a dog is harder than children, because children don't want to kill each other on the street. Erica reads a fan email in her corner and the guys reflect on Lady Gaga's dog walker being shot, a young girl being killed during an exorcism, and a killer rooster. We have a new favorite s...

Anthony forgot Gregg's birthday and also had to drug his dog, Rummy. Anthony, Gregg and Erica talk about who they'd clone and travel with. Headlines this week include a boy who almost became a mashed potato, a gender reveal going wrong, and Dr. Dre's ex not wanting to share clothes. 

Anthony and Gregg talk about a San Diego trip in which Anthony wasn't invited this time. Erica went horseback riding for Valentines Day and Gregg doesn't remember Anthony's 30th birthday. A man is caught having sex on the job while getting paid overtime for it and a substitute teacher gets caught masterbating in the classroom. 

Anthony and Gregg talk about the usual like Rummy in water, babies in water and Erica in bed. They also talk about the heartbreak of grieving for a close friend and whether talking about that usual nonsense makes you feel better.

Mailbag time! Listeners wrote in their questions to our email and Anthony and Gregg answered!

Anthony finally has power and on the fourth day he said "let there be light." Anthony and Gregg share their memories of Larry King before getting to this week's headlines: more monkey exploitation, a TSA agent tricked a girl for boobs, and a man ran around naked covered in guts carrying his dad's head. Who is the worst cook in America? As always, we close the show with the hot recommendations you...

Anthony is officially domesticated, cooking in his crock pot daily (5:30) and Gregg talks about how his wife is handling Trump leaving office. (9:20) In Erica's corner, Anthony talks about not changing his standup for other countries or language barriers (21:19). Some uplifting headlines this week: A baby giraffe was killed by it's mother right after birth, a Rabbi claims that the Covid vaccine wi...

Anthony and Gregg discuss the Steelers loss to the Browns in the Playoffs and how Anthony put the loss into perspective. Gregg is really into Koalas all of a sudden and Anthony talks about not being able to travel to Thailand. A guy got too drunk and changed his name to Celine Dion, Armie Hammer is 100% a cannibal and a girl is robbed at gunpoint for a dog. It's not creepy to have a sex doll,...

Welcome to 2021! Anthony, Gregg and Erica recap their wild NYE stories and how a finger in a butt may have saved a life this weekend. Tayna Roberts has passed away, a 3 year old boy was abandoned in the cold before Christmas at a graveyard, and a nurse stripped their PPE to have sex with a COVID patient.

Merry Christmas! Anthony ran into Dog Walker Jesus and how Gregg kept Anthony out in his backyard for over an hour on his birthday. We break down Wonder Woman 1984 and how the hell it got made before getting into the best headlines ever: Hilaria Baldwin, a Santa stuck in power lines, and a Covid specimen in a Kohl's box, and the Nashville bomber's cryptic message. You need to listen all the way th...

Anthony turns 42 and wanted to share some of his favorite things: zebras, sex with horses, jewish dating sites and elevator shaft deaths. Leave him a happy birthday review on apple podcasts as a gift.

Anthony and Gregg talk about a homeless fan following Anthony and Gregg's family not leaving for the holidays. A man shot his doctor after accidentally ejaculating, China's Iron Crotch Masters fight to keep painful tradition , and the Boy Scouts create a hug booth for the elderly. Get an order of Five CBD Gummies for the price of shipping, go to GetFiveCbd.com! Ships to all 50 states!

Anthony and Gregg talk about Anthony's new frustrations and stories from when Anthony studied abroad in Germany. Anthony's dog, Rummy, is struggling with some barking and Anthony needs a new hat. This episode features a politician in a gay orgy during lockdown, a man named Adolf Hitler wins an election, Roald Dahl's family apologizes to the public and aliens hiding within us. Lastly, a UK mom is c...

Anthony and Gregg talk about their Thanksgiving weekend and give advice on how to tell your family you're moving across the country. Headlines this week are pretty mild: a penis in the sky, Elliot Page, women in men's locker rooms, American assholes, and a selling flight attendant underwear - simple.

Anthony and Gregg are back and talk about how they're prepping for a covid style Thanksgiving. Erica's episode of the Weakest Link on NBC aired and Anthony and Gregg had a lot of questions. The Pope liked some photos he shouldn't have, Santa Claus has immunity ,and penis biting fleas all are featured during this episode.

This week is crazy... Anthony and Gregg get on Erica for going out of town and then tell their favorite stories from the week: Children playing with bats, women strip searched at the airport, a robot wolf, and a whale being blown to smithereens.

Anthony and Gregg took a trip together and the results are hilarious. They share about their weekend and apologize to Erica for un-inviting her. This week is full of wholesome stories: Alex Trebek has his last moment on earth, a guy bathes in milk, a carrier pigeons message is found from WW1 and a heart transplant is fumbled.