The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project

A young girl gets shot in the arm twice while waiting to take photo with the easter bunny, a man admits to putting his injured grandma in the freezer and leaving her to die and Seminary student dies in Jesus crucifixion reenactment. Time to clear out your winter bush and join the other 4 million men worldwide who trust MANSCAPED™ by going to manscaped.com for 20% off + free shipping with the...

A Pro-life activist is found with 5 fetuses in her home, a southwest passenger was arrested for masturbating 4 times during a flight, and parents unplug their ring cam as a person keeps offering their 3 year old ice cream every night.   Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at Helixsleep.com/JRVP   Visit ATHLETICGREENS.com/JRVP...

A woman is hospitalized after refusing to fart in front of her boyfriend, a petting zoo camel kills two people, and a best man professes his love for the bride during his wedding speech. 

We have to start the show with the SLAP heard around the world. A Florida Man was captured on video molesting the family dog, an Arizona company is paying people to poop, and an elderly California man who hired hitmen to kill his wife's podiatrist after her death was found guilty of murder. Yikes. THE SLAP.    Start your 100-day trial and shop the entire Away lineup of travel essentials,...

A rescue boat helps a couple and then shoots the man in self defense, a delivery driver is accused of dipping testicles in salsa and a "child expert" grants a dying boy's wish to have sex    Head to policygenius.com to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. Visit athleticgreens.com/jrvp for a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your...

THE Pig heart man dies 2 months after transplant, a man in a porter potty is crushed by a bulldozer and a box of human heads is found in Denver.   Head to BlackBuffalo.com and use promo code JRVP at checkout for 25% off your first order. Right now, Freshly is offering listeners $80 off your first four orders at FRESHLY.com/ JRVP . Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1 year supply of imm...

A teacher left school on a stretcher after 5 year old's attack, a Texas Republican quits the U.S. house race & admits affair with former ISIS war bride, and a young man who allegedly let himself into his friend’s mum’s home and twice bit her nipple to try and seduce her has denied wrongdoing.  Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillow...

Mail, mail and more mail. 

A Man dies after masturbating while driving and flipping his car over, a Finnish skier suffers from a frozen penis during a cross country event, and a teacher admits to feeding cupcakes containing husbands semen to students.           Visit athleticgreens.com/JRVP for a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. Join the 4 million men...

An 80 year woman old gets locked in her basement after a bloody intruder broke in and told her to take bath with him in her nightgown, a transracial influencer plans penis reduction to be "100% Korean" and a man sleeping with his sister, murders her after finding out she slept with another man.       Get 15% off your Codecademy Pro membership at CodeCademy.com, code JRVP Fill out yo...

A man repeatedly ran over and killed his friend with his car after fight about mayonnaise, Nick Cannon realized he was "out of control" after 8th child, and a worker was flattened by a steamroller in brazil. We list 30 things we love about Erica for her 30th birthday.    Happy Valentine's day! JRVP is brought to you by the freeze pipe! If you’re ready to take bigger hits without th...

Kanye West is allegedly telling people "Pete Davidson has aids", a cat was kicked so hard his penis tore apart and a man being fired brings an emotional support clown to his last meeting.   GO TO keeps.com/jrvp TO GET YOUR FIRST MONTH OF TREATMENT FOR FREE. If you want an easier way to find the right jobs and connect with great employers, go to ZipRecruiter.com today to sign up for FREE. Sign...

Drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain... Kid Rock has a new song out now. 

A man who had pig heart transplant is guilty of 1988 stabbing, a man  claims he lost 1.5 inches in penis size due to Covid and a model says Drake put hot sauce in condoms to kill sperm and not get trapped.    Visit ATHLETICGREENS.com/JRVP  for a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. This V Day, it’s time to join the 4 milli...

An arrested driver claims he didn't know a severed head and torso were inside his truck,  a Houston mom is accused of isolating her COVID positive son in the trunk of car and psychologists argue over whether to call patients "sluts".   Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at helixsleep.com/JRVP  ZipRecruiter uses powerful...

A man drops used condoms into donation boxes and says he's spreading the message of Jesus, Alexa tells a 10 year old girl to touch a plug with a penny, and the Taliban orders shop owners in Afghanistan to behead all mannequins. Jason Derulooooo.  If you’re ready to prevent hair-loss, go to Keeps.com/JRVP TO RECEIVE YOUR FIRST MONTH OF TREATMENT FOR FREE. Visit athleticgreens.com/jrvp fo...

A Florida man with drugs wrapped around his penis deny they were his, a man is accused of killing his grandmother as she opened Christmas gifts and a woman kills her boyfriend with a sword on Christmas Eve. We give our top 3 book, album and movie recommendations of the year. Goodbye 2021!  Right now, Dad Grass is offering our listeners 20% off your first order when you go to dadgrass.com/jrvp...

Demi Lovato sings to ghosts to help them overcome sexism, rampaging monkeys kill 250 dogs in revenge massacre and a robber held up a bank but deposited the money in that bank’s ATM outside, in his account.    Today's episode is brought to you by Fight camp! Go to JoinFightCamp.com/vanity  Today's episode is brought to you by Allform. Get 20% of all orders allform.com/JRVP Head...

A Michigan woman tried to hire an assassin using a fake website, another woman dies after being injured by a "comfort animal” and an Italian Bishop ruins Christmas by telling kids there is no Santa. 

Motorcyclists remove their dead friend from his casket for one last ride, cash is scattered across the highway, and a headless body falls out of a cannibal's car after a crash.      Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at helixsleep.com/JRVP. JRVP listeners can get their first month of treatment for free by going to keeps...

Kim Jon Un bans leather jackets so people can't copy his look,  a 'Squid Game' smuggler is set to die by firing squad in North Korea and an adult model shoots herself in her vagina while filming for fans.      This episode is brought to you by zip recruiter. Try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com/JRVP. This episode is brought to you by Paint Your Life - Text the word VANITY to 64-...

A professor of "Happiness" locks his child in a dog crate and beats his wife, a singer peed on an audience member during a concert and an 11 year old girl got gonorrhea from a hot spring. 

A Man gets eaten by piranhas and drowns in lake while escaping a bee attack, a man in upstate NY bursts into flames after being tasered and a woman is held hostage by a sword wielding man in Utah.     

A wife was shocked to learn her husband's cadaver was dissected at a pay per view event, a woman got a massive back tattoo of her boyfriend one week before they broke up, and a man's penis rots after being bitten by a snake while sitting on the toilet. 

A Man is on trial for castrating men in his kitchen, an Ohio Dad has shot his son who wouldn't stop playing guitar, and a school district offers an apology after photos of students giving lap dances to teachers surface online.