The Jayson Gaddis Podcast

Our culture as 'sexually jammed up' [11:00] The Request - Offer - Invitation method and what we can do to loosen ourselves up [16:00] Betty’s ‘Waking Up The Hands’ exercise and how to test your ‘pleasure capacity’ [18:00] The single biggest factor in the quality of your touch [25:00] What to do when someone asks you what you want but you don’t know [39:00] How to ask for what you want [40:00]

If you are a more "masculine" woman, chances are you'll find yourself with a more "feminine" man. Is this a problem? Not at all. In fact, if you understand basic polarity principles, this can work to your advantage. Unless of course, you want to keep blaming your partner. There is something simpler you can do. Listen for more info...   QUESTION: Can you speak to male/female polarity dynamics?...

What is co-regulation and how do I feel safe in my relationship? In this episode my guest Bonnie Badenoch goes deep into the co-regulatory nervous system. We discuss the importance of interpersonal neurobiology and how we can regulate each other. She covers the myth and limitations of self-regulation and what we must learn instead. Bonnie is a psychotherapist and healer devoted to helping people f...

What does marriage really mean? [3:00] Are 50 year relationships realistic? [7:00] Using marriage as a vehicle for your own personal growth [11:00] jaysongaddis.com/10a

SHOWNOTES How to work out your differences quickly [2:00] Understanding how our childhood coping mechanisms effect our relationships [5:00] An effective tool to rate your ability to handle conflict [6:00] The most essential decision to make to handle relationship issues [8:00]

Is it okay to go outside the marriage to get your sexual needs met? While this may seem like a straightforward answer, it's amazing to me how many folks ask this question who are having affairs. When is this okay and when is it not okay? Listen in for my opinions on the matter. Question: I’m finally reading Mating in Captivity  and it appears that I have a successful life partnership with my...

Stan Tatkin returns and serves up another awesome dose of relationship advice through the lens of adult attachment. From how relationships impact your health, to helping your triggered or upset partner, to dealing with an avoidant partner, we cover a lot of ground as Stan answers 8 or so questions from you, the listener. This one is full of helpful tips to improve and enhance your connection over...

Question: Once someone cheats on you should you walk away completely and let go, or do you think going through something like this could strengthen a relationship and create a deeper bond? Not sure where to draw the boundaries.  When I found out about the cheating, I spent 3 hours trying to understand why. Am I being too understanding? I’d like to know what your thoughts are when it comes to...

UPDATE: CONTEST WINNERS ANNOUNCED! What can you learn from divorced people and people who are married for a decade or two? What are the main differences? There are two and we cover them in this episode with author Mark Manson. We also explore how Mark navigated a big challenge with his now wife and why self-improvement and self-awareness are so essential to long-term partnership. SHOWNOTES Contest...

SHOWNOTES Question: I’d love to hear more about the possible distinction between standing in one’s own needs and then the problematic zone of asking or expecting a partner to change. Asking for change in certain areas seems reasonable and I use my own potential reaction to being asked to change as a measure: “Would I respond well to my partner asking me to change in this area?” But some areas seem...

SHOWNOTES Contest announcement [5:00] How to repair a rupture [8:00] When you trigger your partner: the art of micro repairs [12:00] When ‘macro repairs’ are called for [14:00] 3 steps to the micro-repair [15:00] An example in Jayson and Ellen’s relationship [18:00] Your Action Step [26:00] CONTEST If you're not already, become a member of the Smart Couple community https://www.facebook.com/groups...

Question: We’ve been together 3 months and I’ve been on a path  of self development for many years.  My new partner is very new to inner work and has not prioritized that. He’s open and he’s curious but he’s new to it all.  There’s a lot of fear there for me because I’m worries as we get to know each other his lack of self awareness and self understanding might create blocks.  ...

Do you ever use sex to avoid closeness? Do you know what happens when a man who is called the Erotic Rockstar hits a wall and falls apart? In this intimate episode, we explore these questions and hear a man's vulnerable and raw answers. You'd be surprised at some of what he has to share. There are some nuggets in this very edgy episode. From politics to porn, we cover a lot of ground. Listen...

If one of you wants marriage and the other doesn't, there will be problems. You both need to get crystal clear and determine how "negotiable" this is. Listen to the podcast for more detailed info on what you can do about this common dilemma SHOWNOTES What if your partner won’t work on it with you? [1:00] Question 1 : My boyfriend and I have been dating 2+ years and have been unable to move forward...

If you are a woman who feels shut down in your body or genitals, this conversation is for you. My guest Olivia Bryant helps you understand your cervix and what to do to begin the healing journey. I learned a lot here and am reminded how jammed up we are as a culture sexually. There's so much wounding, trauma, and pain around our sex lives and our guest will help you address one potential area of y...

If you are not fighting after 4 years of being together you're asleep. Why? I'll explain in this episode. I used to be proud of the fact that I never fought in my relationships. But man, was I missing the boat... SHOWNOTES Question:  “You talk about working together and communication. But is there such a thing as working TOO well together, never fighting or getting into an argument? Sometimes...

Are you killing the connection with these 7 behaviors? My guest Bryan Reeves lays out some of the most common connection killers and what to do instead. There's some really good, practical advice in this episode. Dig in and enjoy   Bryan’s relationship story [7:00] The Masculine-Feminine Dance and the ‘pull-push’ cycle [11:00] Freedom vs connection in relationship [12:00] When she says ‘come...

Here’s a good question from a listener. Essentially it’s about physical attractiveness and size. Check it out: Question: I’m newly interested in a man after being single for 4 years, I have a 5 year old son.  My biggest issue is getting over the ‘drug-effect’ of having someone new and really discovering why we should or are together. I’m all about getting the ‘high’ and attracting guys who ar...

Are you in an abusive relationship? In this episode we explore some of the hallmarks of an "abusive" relationship and what to do with any form of disrespect, neglect, or abuse. It's actually harder than you think and there's more work to do than to just "leave" the relationship. I answer loads of questions from listeners like you on abuse in your relationship life. I think there might be some conf...

I’ve been in my current relationship for 15 months. Right off the bat, we rushed into it both freshly out of our relationships. At 3 months he started ‘hardcore flirting’  in messages to facebook friends of his. He didn’t hide it, but I’m sure he didn’t expect me to see it. I found out because he disappearing act one evening and lied to me at first about where he was.  A few days later,...

Money and Relationships! Some say this is one of the top 3 reasons people get divorced. So, do the two of you feel "on the same page" with money or is it a source of tension? If you feel challenged in any way around money in your relationship life, then listen to my friend Bari Tessler breakdown 4 steps to being a more empowered team around money. Any smart couple will want to get this part of the...

A great 3-part question from Nathan from Oregon particularly pertaining to relationships as a young adult. He's also wanting to find mature relationships and act more mature. Check it out.  SHOWNOTES Question - Part 1: How do you navigate technology in relationships?  When is it connecting? When is it disconnecting?  As phones and technological tools are becoming more necessities, h...

Annie Lalla brings the heat in this amazing episode full of love and wisdom. Damn can this woman spin some distinctions and reframe so many challenges with simple, detailed examples of how we can transform our relationships into the magic we long for. I know you're going to dig this one. A must listen to probably 2 or 3 times. SHOWNOTES How to use conflict to access your shadow [10:00] Learni...

Why is emotional intensity so difficult for some guys to deal with? [1:20] Why some men can’t handle being around women (and people) who are depressed or going through intense emotional experiences.[4:15] Action step: A constructive way to think and act when we ‘don’t like’ something about our partner. [5:50]

Show Notes Charles’ relationship story. [9:50] How we know if we’re ready for marriage. [13:00] Why do you people get divorced in January? [15:00] The #1 thing you can do to prevent a “January Divorce”. [17:00] A micro step you can take to ratchet up the ‘honesty’ in your relationship. [19:00] How to get real, raw and say the hard truths (and how NOT to say it). [21:00] How Charles recently got th...