The Jayson Gaddis Podcast

What does your intention have to do with creating a great relationship? According to my guest, everything. If you are single, what vibe are you putting out into the world to attract a mate? If you are partnered, what vibe are you putting into your relationship? This week's guest has so much to say about upgrading your story and your intention and how that can impact how fulfilled you are in your r...

QUESTION When my boyfriend gets triggered and shares his thoughts and feelings with me, how do I not take it personal and get defensive? I feel like this creates a barrier between us when he is trying to reach out and I want to be with him in this moment. But I feel attacked even though I know he's not attacking me - I can hear my shitty defensive tone of voice and feel my body language change. I...

If you want to understand the long term cost of not repairing a rupture, Dan Siegel, who coined the term interpersonal neurobiology, is about to illuminate your mind.  We discuss how we human beings operate when our "minds" and hearts come together, trauma, and how to fight off disease with presence.  This episode is powerful. It's for the science nerds and relationship geeks who wa...

Quote from the Smart Couple Quote Book Stop wasting time with people who don’t support your fullness. Stop apologizing for who you are. Do not spend another day dimming your light because someone’s uncomfortable. Some people you know will always be uncomfortable with your way and will always judge you. Let them go and keep being you as you are. SHOWNOTES A quote from The Smart Couple Quote Book [7...

Boundaries are essential in a partnership and Terri Cole knows a lot about them. We talk about getting sober, parenting her inner child, what it takes to have your marriage as a top priority and what women can do to balance being independently strong with interdependently connected. This podcast interview is fun and full of gems. SHOWNOTES Terri’s story [10:00] The 3 questions you need to ask your...

QUESTION: It seems like my husband wants me to change things, and that there are things I want him to change... Is that the same things as wanting him to grow, just in different terms? I’ve heard you say that people can’t change their partners, but you have said that the goal should be to grow. I’m wondering what the difference is. How do you accept that your partner isn’t going to change, but the...

This couple learned how to get stronger through postpartum depression and conflict. Listen how they navigated a big personal crisis and how they helped each other get through it. Here are a few of the highlights: SHOWNOTES Denise & TJ's story [11:00] Experiencing spirituality through your partner [13:00] What happens when both partners in a relationship tend to 'take charge'? [18:00] Challenges th...

QUESTION: I understand that men generally will put career and providing at the top of their priority list, while relationships might hover near the bottom. Relationship is a top priority for me, so how do I get to the place where i’m ok with not being at the top of the list for my guy? How do I not take it personally? Do I need to be looking for someone who’ll put our relationship at the top of th...

Fighting and emotional upset is just part of the program in a committed relationship over many years. But what separates the smart couple from people who really struggle is being able to repair well. In this episode, my wife Ellen Boeder covers why "the repair" is so critical in a strong partnership. It's essential as a parent, so why would it be any different with your partner. Listen in to get a...

QUESTION: I’m single and broken up with four months ago and have decided to take time out of the dating pool to get to know myself more, reflect on my last relationship and to enjoy my own company. The thing is, i know that in the near future, I want a partner. What is your advice on choosing a partner? To be more specific, I’m aware of the relationship process of the honeymoon phase, then the rea...

Here at The Relationship School®, we focus on the long-term relationship game. But what if you're ready for a relationship but can't find one? This week, I invited Marni Battista  to help shed some light on how single women can break out of their comfort zones, start dating and find a quality guy (without repeating the same patterns over and over again). Make sure to listen for her advic...

QUESTION: I keep running away from relationships with the opposite sex when they start to get close or use the ‘L word’, basically because I think I’m not good enough for them or they’d end up leaving me. I also find it difficult to initiate talks with other people - what do I do? - Elias SHOWNOTES   This episode's question [1:00] The irony in running away because you're scared of being left&...

Pat Ogden PhD is a pioneer when it comes to somatic trauma therapy. Her work has touched many people including me. Even if you don't think you have any trauma, you likely have some living in your body that your partner will activate. In this episode, Pat has some great guidance to normalize and assist you in taking small steps that will greatly benefit you and your partner as you wade through the...

QUESTION: What are your thoughts on the ‘Don’t go to bed angry’ rule? SHOWNOTES This episode's question [1:00] When taking a time-out overnight is the best thing you can do [3:00] Rigid rules vs agreements [6:00] How you can make agreements with your partner that leave room for flexibility [8:00]  

Ever feel like you're tolerating shitty behavior, shouldering the burden of being the ‘therapist’ in the relationship, or constantly giving to others (and talking yourself out of your own needs)? Valuing ourselves and having confidence in our boundaries is key to getting more of what you want and less of what you don’t want - especially in relationship. Danielle Laporte is an expert at helpin...

QUESTION: I feel like I’m doing my part setting boundaries, communicating my needs and asking for what I want.  What else can I try? I’ve done the work to learn how to express and articulate my needs, how I want to be treated, what’s not ok with me, behaviour that’s hurtful (very clearly with specific behaviours) and setting clear boundaries.  Some of the behaviours continue even though...

Want to know one man's approach to calling in the one? How did he find his dream relationship? What exactly did he do? Then, how did he create the dream relationship even after it got really dark? Find out how to find and create a solid relationship through one man's inspiring story. Once again we learn a lesson from a man who was willing to face himself and go work on what he needed to. SHOWNOTES...

QUESTION: Since a boundary of mine is about to be breached - again - does that spell the end of this particular partnership? I've been lying to myself and my partner about my ok-ness with her quarterly 7+ day adventures with a supposedly platonic friend of hers. It took almost a year to figure that out and come to a place of acceptance with it. Last night during a semi-routine check-in conversatio...

Imagine you're 12 years old, at home watching tv, ears pricked up as you hear your dad pulling into the driveway. Every part of your nervous system listening to the revving of the engine, the slam of the car door, the keys in the front door. All these things might be the difference between being greeted cheerfully, being ignored, or being beaten. It doesn't take long to become an expert at knowing...

QUESTION: Going into my 10th month of a relationship. 2 week break up (his initiation), came back back asking to work it out, showing up strong, committed and communicative. There is only one problem..no sex. He got distant before the break up (last few weeks)...and I asked about it then. He said it was a "him" thing. I realize we need a conversation....but before I do..I need objective insight. H...

The feeling of being lost and purposeless in life has a big impact on our relationships.  Men and women have a deep need to not only connect with each other, but connect to a bigger meaning in their life. Satyen Raja is an expert at helping us develop the higher levels of purpose & evolution in our lives - and this affects everything from our work, our relationships with our partners & k...

Is there a difference between therapy and coaching? In this episode, I explore the main differences and what matters more than anything else when trying to find a good therapist or coach to help you through your relationship challenges. SHOWNOTES Where should you go for relationship advice? [2:00] The difference between a psychiatrist, a psychologist, and a psychotherapist [4:00] Why do some coach...

There are two giant ways we screw up our relationships. One is by breaking agreements. The other is by never having agreements to begin with.   Broken agreements can be great opportunities to open a dialogue with our partner about our needs, renegotiate our agreements if they no longer make sense, or even draw a hard boundary around what we will and won’t tolerate.   But what happens whe...

Dealing with a partner who is triggered can be difficult - especially if they respond negatively to your help. Maybe you’ve been here before: your partner is upset about something, you do your best to give them some encouraging words or to calm them down, but no matter what you do, your partner’s gets more and more upset (or worse... now upset with you for trying to help). If you’ve ever been in t...

A major shift is happening with the way we educate young adults about relationships and sex.  Despite what we hear in the media about the 'hookup culture,' the majority of young adults are very interested in learning about relationships and long-term partnerships. Alexandra Solomon is paving the way in the academic world, educating both students and adults in the all-important long-term relat...