The Housewives Archives: A Real Housewives Podcast

This week on the season premiere of "The Housewives Archives," we head back east to say hello to our new batch of Housewives! We discuss RHONJ's humble beginnings, the Season One taglines, the importance of "fambily," Château, Jersey interior décor and, of course, the table flip. Plus, we dissect the biggest storyline of Season One, New Jersey's resident pariah and the little book that haunts her...

This week, for the world's most tenuous Christmas special, we head to the snow-capped mountains of Salt Lake City for a one-off look at Bravo's newest cohort of beloved psychopaths. We discuss the major misfire that was Season One Jen Shah, we psychoanalyze SLC's resident cult leader, Mary Cosby, we pick apart the mystery that is Meredith Marks' cleavage and the destined failure that is Brooks Mar...

It's bittersweet over here at the Housewives Archives as we reunite for our very first in-person episode - and it also happens to be the season finale! This week, we discuss Real Housewives: Ultimate Girls Trip, Sex and the City, RHOSLC, Ellie's first Thanksgiving, Zarin Fabrics, and our ill-fated trip to the world-famous Regency... Plus, we reveal where we're headed for season three of the Housew...

Look at her. Look at her fucking life... This week, we cover the demise of Erika Jayne/Girardi as we know it. We talk the beginning of her marriage to Tom Girardi, widows and orphans, Sutton, mascara, remorse, Erika's most recent Reunion performance, and trolling the Instagram trolls. Plus, we predict what the future holds for Erika. Will she bounce back unharmed, or will this be the last we ever...

She's an enigma wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in cash, wrapped in a Moschino T-shirt dress. This week, we talk sex, fashion, Erika's nasty side, incidental music, daddy issues, singing, "nakedity" and alter egos. Plus, we meet our vocal match when we try to nail down the ever elusive "Erika voice" Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

Oh, you bet we're gonna talk about it... This week, we discuss Lisa Rinna of Depends fame and her old Hollywood friend-turned-nemesis, Denise Richards. We talk owning it, threesomes, wigs, Lois, openness and honesty, out-of-control fashion, the blurred line between truth and fiction, and the suspicious timeline of Brandi's 'surprise' Denise revelation... Plus, we lobby for a remake of 'The Black S...

This week, we're taking a walk over the swan bridge and through the glass double doors to visit Lisa Vanderpump in Villa Rosa. We talk Lisa's love of animals, her friendships with Brandi and Kyle, Munchausen's syndrome, Lucy Lucy Apple Juice, Ken, the Reunions, British stoicism, and manipulation. Lots and lots of manipulation... Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, as an early Halloween treat (or trick, depending on your persuasion) we bring you all things Carlton, the resident Wiccan of 90210! We talk pentagrams, bees, early-2000s fashions, black magic, anti-semitism, hexes, and the scariest thing of all... Kyle Richards. Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, we conclude our analysis of our favorite train wreck, Kim Richards. We talk Kim's sober years, her wobbles in Paris and at Eileen's Poker Night, her friendship with Brandi Glanville, the Great Amsterdam Fight of 2014, Kingsley the dog, and of course that bunny... Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

People try to figure her out, but she's one of a kind. This week, we have the honor of discussing the truly iconic lover of turtles, Kim Richards. We talk her career as a child star, Big and Little Kathies, Ken the Gay Bull Mastiff, the Hawaii trip, and "You stole my goddam house!" Plus, we attempt to untangle the truly unholy mess that is the toxic relationship between Kim and Kyle. Boom, boom, s...

Did you know? It's Game Night! We talk The Housewife & The Hustler, $25,000 sunglasses, Thai-speaking babies, (allegedly) doing crystal meth in the bathroom, and the worst party that we've ever seen on The Real Housewives. So, let's do it. Let's just go. Let's go on a journey together. That's what we're about. Always have been.  Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, we take a look at the darkest chapter of Beverly Hills: Taylor Armstrong. We talk her marriage to Russell, Kennedy's extravagant birthday parties, Beaver Creek breakdowns, and the Malibu Beach Party From Hell. Expect some heavy themes that some listeners may find upsetting. TW: domestic abuse, suicide Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

We've put a couple of extra chairs out at the dinner table this week because we have the special privilege of welcoming theatre royalty and real-life siblings Preston and Macy Nyman to the show! The Nymans give us their Housewives hot takes before we dive into an analysis of the fabled Dinner Party From Hell. As expected, it was complete chaos. We talk bad fashions, gargantuan cocktails, e-cigaret...

This week, we have the privilege of discussing Beverly Hills' first true villain, Camille Donatacci Grammer. From her disastrous first season to a glorious comeback in the next, Camille has suffered wild changes in circumstance, but her ridiculous essence has always remained a constant. We talk the demise of her marriage to Kelsey Grammer, her passionate womanservant D.D., the palpable sexual tens...

Azerbaijan's 40th most popular Film & TV podcast is back by unpopular demand! We catch up and reminisce about all our newfound success since wrapping last season, from minor international infamy to vaguely threatening Cameos from a certain Housewives-Friend-Of. Plus, we reveal which new city will be the subject of Season Two... Follow us on Instagram @housewivesarchives

This week on our finale episode of Season One, we appropriately end things by taking a look at the New York Reunions. We talk Andy Cohen, fashion hits and misses, breaking the fourth wall, cocaine accusations, and all our favorite Reunion Ramonaisms. Instagram @HousewivesArchives

¡Hola Chiquitas! This week, we delve into the literal shit show that is the Season 10 group trip to Cartagena, Colombia. We talk Bethenny versus Carole, anaphylaxis, falling down the stairs, Luann versus Dorinda, the boat ride from hell, and rampant diarrhea! Instagram @HousewivesArchives

It's been a long time coming, but we finally made it. This week, we conclude the epic saga that is the life and times of Countess Luann, as seen through the prism of everything from Greek tragedy to Tennessee Williams. We talk divorce, alcoholism, arrests, and cabaret. Lots and lots and lots of cabaret... Instagram @HousewivesArchives

This week, it's about Tom. We unpack the genesis of the ill-fated romance between Luann and notorious Upper East Side womanizer, Tom D'Agostino, and all its ensuing chaos. We talk Girl Code, rooming at Sonja's townhouse, the insane Bethenny v Luann Bezerkshires fight, and those incriminating photos at the Regency... Instagram @HousewivesArchives

The leviathan that is Countess Luann de Lesseps is so monumental that we could not possibly fit her and her pumpkin head into just one measly episode, so we made her a two-parter! In our first installment, we take a look at Luann B.T. (Before Tom) and her many personas therein: the Countess, divorcee, "singer", gay icon, Friend of, and, of course, the Cool Countess. We discuss etiquette, charity,...

Fasten your seatbelts, because this week we take a wild ride on the Ramonacoaster! We talk Ramona's fashion hits and misses, her unfiltered mouth, the Brooklyn Bridge fight, and the tried and tested Ramona Apology.  Instagram @HousewivesArchives

Get the pinot ready, because it's turtle time! This week, we reminisce about all our favorite drunken moments on RHONY, from the Tequila trip to Tipsy Girl. But before that, we do a bit of close character analysis as we look at alcohol through the prism of its two biggest abusers: Sonja Morgan and Dorinda Medley. Woo-hoo!! Instagram @HousewivesArchives

We're determined to start 2021 on the wrong foot as we continue our in-depth literary analysis of Kelly Bensimon's oeuvre "I CAN MAKE YOU HOT!" We check in on our respective hotness journeys, we also discuss water consumption, food mistakes, and how to dress hot. Plus, an anecdote about meeting Madonna gives us crucial insight into the origins of Kelly's infamous trigger. Get your notebooks ready...

We round off this hot mess of a year appropriately enough by conducting a forensic analysis of Kelly Bensimon's magnum opus, inspired by a Reddit thread. Part cookbook, part health & wellness, and part manic ramblings, this book is a bold, imaginative work for our times and the closest thing humanity will ever have to truly understanding the psyche of the genius that is Kelly Killoren Bensimon...

With the dawn of a new era of RHONY, we say hello to Aviva Drescher: a Housewife who gives Kelly Killoren Bensimon a run for her money in the crazy department.  We talk the Season Five revamp, St. Barths, Harry Dubin, Bookgate, and that infamous Leg Toss...  Follow us on Instagram @HousewivesArchives