The Hardcore Therapist

Send us Fan Mail In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist , I break down what’s really happening beneath the surface when your partner gets triggered—and why it’s not as simple as “communicating better.” When your partner gets triggered, it’s not about winning, fixing, or proving your point—it’s about creating enough safety for the moment to settle. This is not about fixing your partner or walkin...

Send us Fan Mail I’m really excited to welcome Alison Braun to The Hardcore Therapist podcast. Alison’s first camera, a Pentax K1000 was a gift from her father, who taught her how to see light and story. What began as an interest in landscape photography shifted at fourteen, when she found punk rock in dark, crowded clubs on the Sunset Strip—and found her people. Her camera moved her from observer...

Send us Fan Mail When someone dies by suicide, the questions come fast. How did this happen?  Why didn’t I see it?  What could I have done differently? In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist , I talk about what actually matters when something like this happens—without speculation, without oversimplifying it, and with respect for the people who are grieving. This is a grounded conversation about...

Send us Fan Mail I am so honored to welcome today’s guest  Drew Stone. Drew is a filmmaker, frontman, and author, known for works like the The Hardcore Chronicles , a long-running documentary project that captures hardcore culture in a, meaningful, confrontational, and deeply human way. Today we’re talking about storytelling, subculture as nervous system regulation, and what it means to preserve a...

Send us Fan Mail Why do people sometimes lose sexual desire in long-term relationships—even when they still love their partner? In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist , I explore the emotional, relational, and biological reasons intimacy can change over time. Drawing from clinical experience and relationship research, she explains how stress, emotional disconnection, hormonal shifts, and compla...

Send us Fan Mail I am so excited to welcome Monica Tanner to The Hardcore Therapist podcast. Monica is straight edge, a psychologist, a cancer survivor, and an all-around badass. She brings together lived experience and clinical depth in a way that’s rare—and deeply needed. Her story sits at the intersection of identity, resilience, discipline, and survival, and she doesn’t soften it for comfort....

Send us Fan Mail You’ve read the books. You’ve been in therapy. You understand your patterns. So why do certain moments in relationships still trigger such strong emotional reactions? In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist , I explores why insight alone doesn’t always change how our nervous system responds to stress, conflict, or emotional distance in relationships. Drawing from trauma-informed...

Send us Fan Mail Today’s guest is Sean Kennerly,  guitarist, songwriter, and a foundational voice in Samiam, a band that helped shape emotionally honest punk at a time when vulnerability wasn’t exactly encouraged. For decades, Samiam has occupied a rare space: aggressive without being performative, emotional without being polished, and deeply human without ever asking for permission. Their music h...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist , I explores why expressing needs in early dating can feel so terrifying  especially for people with anxious attachment or past relationship trauma. She breaks down the difference between healthy needs and controlling demands, why self-silencing leads to resentment, and how clear communication actually helps reveal relationship compatibili...

Send us Fan Mail Kurtis Powers is a creative, curator, founder, and strategist working at the intersection of media, culture, and conversation. As the force behind a radio station and a weekly talk radio show, Kurtis creates space for real dialogue and voices that don’t always fit inside mainstream narratives. In this episode, we explore creativity as a nervous system regulator, media as a mirror...

Send us Fan Mail What is love bombing  and how do you know if you’re experiencing it? In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist , I break down the psychology behind love bombing, how it differs from genuine connection, and why it can feel so intoxicating in the beginning. We’ll talk about the signs to watch for, how trauma bonding forms, and why intensity is often mistaken for intimacy. If you’ve...

Send us Fan Mail Today’s guest is Anthony Civeralli most people know him as Civ; frontman of Gorilla Biscuits and CIV. Gorilla Biscuits have witnessed nearly four decades of global scenes, audiences, and stages and somehow, they’re as powerful now as they were in the late ’80s. That kind of longevity is no small feat. Civ’s most recent chapter came unexpectedly. A few years ago, he released his fi...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist , I break down the science behind inner child healing and what actually works. If you struggle with: Anxious attachment Over-functioning and codependency Emotional reactivity in relationships People-pleasing or hyper-independence Shame, abandonment fear, or chronic self-criticism This episode explains how early attachment experiences wire...

Send us Fan Mail Today’s guest is an artist whose work quietly shaped an entire era of alternative and hardcore culture whether people realized it or not. Melinda Beck is an award-winning illustrator, animator, and designer whose visual language has appeared everywhere from The New Yorker and The New York Times to album covers that helped define the emotional texture of 90s hardcore and post-hardc...

Send us Fan Mail Addiction Is an Attempt to Self-Regulate What if addiction isn’t about weakness… but about survival? In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist , I explore the neurobiology of addiction — and why substances and behaviors like shopping, porn, alcohol, and drugs activate the same brain circuits involved in love, attachment, and emotional connection. Research shows that dopamine, oxyt...

Send us Fan Mail Born and raised in Flint, Michigan, Danny Coburn grew up on Motown, traditional country, blues, and rock ’n’ roll. As a teenager, he cut his teeth playing in numerous punk and hardcore bands before leaning into rock and country in his 20s. Danny spent his 30s with the jam-band–blues outfit Hill Country Revue, including seven years living in Memphis, Tennessee. Now in his 40s—and s...

Send us Fan Mail What happens when growth feels like guilt? In this episode, I share something personal: the excitement of building a new life with my husband and the unexpected sadness and guilt of leaving my adult children in another state. We explore the difference between abandonment and expansion, what attachment theory actually says about distance, and why prioritizing your marriage in adult...

Send us Fan Mail Today’s guest is Thomas Vanderpol. Thomas is a dad, HR professional, ethical vegan, and straight edge since forever. Originally from Redding, California and now based in Portland, Oregon, he brings a lifetime of lived experience inside hardcore and punk both on and off the stage. With a deep background in touring, songwriting, and label work, Thomas has co-managed a record label a...

Send us Fan Mail  We’re taught that being “nice” is a virtue.  But what if some of the behaviors we call niceness are actually survival strategies? In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist Podcast , I unpack the subtle ways trauma can disguise itself as politeness, agreeableness, and being “low maintenance.” We explore patterns many people mistake for kindness—over-explaining every no, apologizin...

Send us Fan Mail Today on The Hardcore Therapist , I’m honored to welcome Kevin Seconds. Kevin is the frontman of the legendary hardcore punk band 7 Seconds, a group that helped define the sound, values, and heart of hardcore. For over four decades, his voice, lyrics, and presence have championed authenticity, community, and emotional honesty long before those conversations were mainstream. He is...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I explore why overeating, bingeing, or restricting so often develop in people who grew up emotionally undernourished  even when their basic needs were met. Parents may have been physically present but emotionally unavailable, leaving food to become one of the earliest and most reliable forms of regulation. This is not an episode about die...

Send us Fan Mail Today’s guest is Maria, the force behind Dollfest in Oakland, California. Maria created Dollfest as a radical act of space-making, centering women, femmes, and marginalized voices in a scene that hasn’t always made room for them. This isn’t just a festival; it’s community care, resistance, and creativity wrapped into one loud, defiant weekend. Maria is proof that when women build...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I explore why emotional safety can feel uncomfortable especially after trauma, intense relationships, or nervous systems conditioned to unpredictability. You’ll learn how trauma impacts attachment, dopamine, and emotional regulation, why calm can feel unfamiliar or dull, and how boredom in long-term relationships doesn’t mean something is...

Send us Fan Mail Today’s guest is Scott Winegard — bassist for Texas Is the Reason , chef, author, and expert in plant-based cuisine. Texas Is the Reason helped shape the emotional core of 90s hardcore, creating space for vulnerability and introspection long before most of us had language for our nervous systems or grief. That music held a lot of people through formative years of intensity and bec...

Send us Fan Mail Eating disorders are not choices or failures of willpower. They are serious, brain-based mental illnesses that emerge when genetic vulnerability meets environmental pressure . In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist , I breaks down what the research actually shows about eating disorders. Why some people are more biologically vulnerable, how dieting, trauma, and body-based pressu...