The Greatest Generation

When Trip’s funeral kicks off the cold open, we go back in time to learn about the accident that caused Dr. Phlox to suggest an unorthodox procedure to save his life with some new brains. But after the symbiote they’ve created starts looking for solutions to keep living, hard dark Archer insists that he’s willing to kill him to complete the mission. What’s the shitty thing about having a business?...

When the Entrepreneur finds an old west play set in the middle of the Delphic Expanse, the away team raids the costume drawer and heads down just in time to see a maybe alien get lynched. But after they learn the history of the humans and the Skagarans on this planet, Captain Archer encourages the Sheriff to make some new laws before they pick them back up. Why is Marc Maron actually retiring? Wha...

When Archer wakes up and doesn’t know what the fuck is going on, T’Pol gets to be captain as the Xindi weapon cruises towards Earth. But after Phlox finally finds a cure for Memento disease, T’Pol dodges the caretaker bullet when Archer resets the timeline. What does a Xindi planet-killing weapon never come with? Who gets darker than dark Archer? Why does Ben have bugs in the studio? It’s the epis...

When Captain Archer leads an away team to a Xindi refinery planet, they meet an Arboreal who likes to drink alone and agrees to help them avoid another attack. But after Trip almost blows up the damn ship, Archer tip-of-the-spears a tracker into one of Degra‘s canisters of kemocite. Who sleeps in a full suit? Where do we need more motion lights? What does civil war do? It’s the episode with Gralik...

When Hoshi gets a telepathic cold call, her new suitor offers to help Captain Archer’s pursuit of the Xindi as long as Hoshi stays over at his creepy castle. But after she reluctantly agrees and finds he can’t take no for an answer, she has to threaten his crystal to get back to the NX-01. Which button shows true desperation? What’s the worst Star Trek food we’ve ever seen? Should Hoshi have just...

When the Entrepreneur picks up a distress call from a Vulcan ship, a severely under-resourced away team heads over in a shuttlepod. But when T’Pol starts showing paranoid symptoms and her former colleagues are beyond help, Archer and Tucker barely get their only two shuttlepods back to the NX-01. Who isn’t going commando? Which crew member is like a licorice jellybean? What does this show really l...

When the Entrepreneur shows up at a seasteading planet, Archer goes looking for Xindi but finds a top-shelf babe who wants to escape the slave trade. But after she comes aboard and starts giving the crew hand jobs, two Xindi ships arrive to collect her and her data. Who is leech curious? Which spice wasn’t included in the exchange? What’s the shoestring fries of salads? It’s the episode with some...

When Archer finds a new species of Xindi in the database, he takes a shuttlepod down to the last Sears Garden Center they visited to see what he can learn from their ship. But when the away team starts mutating and goons with flamethrowers show up to contain the infected, Phlox uses T’Pol’s resistance to create an antidote. Which beverage requires trust? What’s more desperate than finger gruel? Wh...

When the Entrepreneur is flying Winnie the Poo style through the expanse, anomalies bring them out of warp near a vessel full of deads. But when they’re boarded and robbed by space pirates, Captain Archer turns his prisoner into a plan to retrieve their booty. Who is going inside out first? What is the Cochran equation? Which two things will get you killed in the Delphic Expanse? It’s the episode...

When the Entrepreneur is six weeks into the expanse, the Captain’s only lead is an unscrupulous foreman with a Xindi miner. But when Archer and Trip get trapped with the prisoner, their sewer-based escape ends tragically at a set of useless coordinates that push them deeper into the expanse. Where’s the fresh content for a Florence Nightingale foot fetish? What could have made Trip’s nightmare bet...

When a clockwork probe shows up to give Florida a Prince Albert, the Entrepreneur is called back to Earth and Captain Archer learns that the Xindi have an even more deadly attack in store. But when they get permission to head back out towards the Delphic Expanse, T’Pol and the rest of the crew decide to stay aboard as Duras loses his last chance at honor. What’s in the lobby of Big Dish? How is ag...

When Captain Archer gets kidnapped by a Tellarite bounty hunter, he’s slowly talked into delivering Archer to the Klingons with a means of escape. But as T’Pol gets sweaty in the decon chamber, Dr. Phlox comes up with a cure for her horny that avoids having to distribute cages to the crew. What do ants know? Why do shuttlepods have a shovel? Who can be a sniper in the Klingon military? It’s the ep...

When Captain Archer gets bad news involving A.G. Robinson and a mountain, his solo away mission to a dark matter nebular turns into story time with T’Pol in the the middle seat. But when she learns about their rivalry and how Robinson influenced Archer’s career, she suggests naming their big beautiful nebula after him as a fitting final tribute. What’s the best method of birth control? Who does th...

When a team of Lennie scientists finds Borgsicles under the ice, thawing them out and getting too close leads to new urges around base camp. But when the Entrepreneur gets sent to intercept by Admiral Forrest, Archer blows up their damn ship after closing the First Contact loop. Who needs to look at their own messy-ass starships? What’s the best way to open a can? Which Borg drone was missing from...

When the Entrepreneur stops by a hypergiant star, they get to know a gregarious alien species that’s very generous with their tech. But when the two captains take a field trip and Tucker goes rouge with a Vissian, the implications for First Contact put everyone on the edge. How high can the writers’ room count? Where do cogenitors poop at the airport? What should be chiseled into Archer’s tombston...

When a group of Denobulan scientists needs rescuing underground, an away team covered in spelunking gear explores a different type of Star Trek cave. But when an injured Antaran refuses treatment by Dr. Phox, Captain Know-It-All forces them to take one small step toward reconciliation. What is the golden death triangle of sadness? How do you keep a tribble from reproducing? Which movie most honors...

When the Entrepreneur gets diverted to watch some hot space action, Mayweather asks for leave to visit his family on the Horizon. But when his father’s sudden death places Paul Mayweather in a position of authority, working together to save the ship from space pirates gives the brothers hope for the future. How does Travis maintain his abs? What are horror movies of the future like? Who else could...

When Archer gets put on trial for helping refugees in need, his simple country Klingon lawyer requires some inspiration to mount a defense. But when the magistrate’s ruling doesn’t feel like justice, a courtroom outburst sends both of them to the dilithium mines. What’s the spiky bird of Qo'noS? How do Klingon courts make money? Where was Kolos born? It’s the episode where Rura Penthe is keeping t...

When MaxFun Drive is around the corner and the Friends of DeSoto have questions, Ben and Adam sit down with producer Wynde to see what answers they can find. But when all of the accessories are the same color and video game lines get drawn in the sand, nostalgia and redundancy keep the pod sausage factory humming. Which aircraft probably costs extra in Microsoft Flight Simulator? What’s the most t...

When a huge chode ship approaches the Entrepreneur, Captain Archer assembles a team to investigate its gaping maw immediately. But when wispy beings start inhabiting members of the crew, their strange experiences and after-school special behavior make another mass retreat to the catwalk necessary. How could Reed be caught unawares? Which wisp should have been sent first? What was Mayweather doing...

When Captain Archer and Commander Tucker get snatched out of their shuttlepod, they’re placed on a prison transport ship with an unspeakably dangerous criminal. But when his Con Air plan goes into action and Archer somehow manages to impress him, refusing to go back to Canamar is the last decision he’ll make. Whose poop is so hard that it snapped a spoon? How long will Ben remain a winner in Polo...

When the Entrepreneur finds a tin can tumbling through space, they bring it aboard and start dropping things down its impossibly deep hatch. But when the Suliban and the Tholians both show up and start fighting over the pod, unknown future people finally collect their shit after which the NX-01 isn’t even worth a torpedo. When does an extra 5mm make a difference? Where else could you donate your b...

When the Vulcans and the Andorians start fighting over the same shitty planet, Captain Archer gets called in on special diplomatic duty and no one really knows why. But when Shran releases a hostage and tries to open a conversation with Ambassador Soval, Suzie Plakson breaks rank and reveals she’s a war-hungry anti-Vulcite. Which superhero do you want at a sex party? Who is logicing like a fox? Wi...

When T’Pol is feeling a little green under the gills, Dr. Phlox starts telling professional lies to advance the treatment of her terminal condition. But when the Vulcans find out about her stigmatized status, there’s barely time to measure the man before one of their doctors blurts out both of their secrets. Which character is least likely to beat around a bush? What’s the number one thing about s...

When Commander Tucker gets shot down on a solo mission, there just happens to be a moon for him and his attacker to crash land on. But when they have to work together to get a message to the Entrepreneur, Captain Archer mounts a joint rescue operation and comes by his diplomatic success with the Arkonians honestly. Which classic 90s movie needs a punch-up? Why might Trip want to get more things do...