The Grade Cricketer

It rained for 4 days in Hampshire during the 2nd Test between England and Pakistan but how do we get more cricket when the floods of 2020 commence the next apocalypse?   Stuart Broad is fined by daddy, MyCricket let’s you hide your failures, Dhoni retires and everyone in the history of the game kisses the ring, Steve Smith wears his Aussie lid to state training and we celebrate India’s finest ever...

We’re talking Pakistani players of promise, who the big 4 bats are, climaxing to Babar and what makes us feel good.   Ireland beat England in the 3rd ODI after Tom Blanton says the England team are the hardest sports team in the world to get in to.   Who gets the Boxing Day Test, where the world cups are being played and when and Shane Warne’s new cologne.   Rob Key is on the show to discuss playi...

England win their ODI series against Ireland with 10 other blokes that aren’t nearly as interesting as Johnny Bairstow, as the rarest of rare unite goes past 3000 ODI runs and scores a 21 ball fifty.   We’re dissecting the new step 4 restrictions to club cricketers in the UK, that include wearing whites to games and no warm ups.   The IPL has a start and finish date in the UAE and the BCCI want to...

England claim the Wisden trophy 2-1 after some gorgeous, clean Ollie Pope runs, Stuart Broad’s 10-fa - thus taking him past 500 Test wickets - and Chris Woakes’ underrated salad. We're dissecting the Broad 'celebrappeal', if/when he'll go past McGrath and whether he catch Jimmy Anderson as the games highest ever pace-bowling wicket-taker.   BUT HE DIDN'T WALK!?   Rahkeem Cornwall didn’t do anythin...

England level the series 1-all thanks to Dom Sibley yucking his way to 120 and Ben Stokes doing literally everything in the same game. This is of course after Jofra goes to see "a friend" and breaks bio security measures.   There’s also 3 men on a podium in South Africa in the 3TC Solidarity cup, Australia’s 26 man squad, some Big Bash fixtures and the T20 World Cup is officially postponed.   Josh...

The West Indies go 1-0 up in the series thanks mostly to Stuart Broad not being picked and Jason Holder now usurping Faf du Plessis as the greatest rig in world cricket. How do you get on the front dog to the great man!? We're talking England going all-in on the pace-train, Ollie Pope looking good at all times (and costs), Shannon Gabriel castling blokes for fun and how everything is a little bit...

An important announcement up top before we get into the usual rareness.   Ben Stokes is set to become the 81st Test Captain of England but where’s the gritty salad that took him to the top? Mark Wood is singing ‘Jerusalem’ from the rafters while Robelinda2 reminds us of Steve Waugh’s best BBQs. Dave Warner’s doing TikToks and does hand sanitizer make the Dukes hoop?   Steve O’Keefe is on to talk a...

We commence our farewell to the season in the only way we know how: by discussing safety, Fathers, MyCricket and Shane Warne. That’s all before Justin Langer is finally granted the privilege of joining our fair show, whereupon he muses on his early club cricket forays with Dennis Lillee, kicking over the bin at Headingley, TikTok with his daughters, players he thought were knobs but turned out oka...

Well, the pandemic has taken hold and for TGC that only means one thing: overlaying inappropriate and ill-advised cricketing analogies to describe the deepest health and economic crisis in living memory. Gee COVID-19’s hooping ‘em.   Because of the times, this week we’ve gone for a ‘we not me’ approach. To offset our intellectually limited analysis with something more responsible, we speak with Cr...

In the wake of our dear global pandemic, we’ve decided to fast-forward the release of our Blue Carpet special – an episode commemorating a docuseries many of us now have the time to watch: The Test, from Amazon.   We “run the rule” (what does this mean?) over the series from a Parramatta carpark, highlighting its key questions: is it PR? Is it glorified club cricket? Did Justin Langer say it, or D...

The Australian Women win a World Cup, break records and make history at a packed MCG. They did it by having a stick first, absolutely smashing them and decimating the opposition before dancing on stage at a Katy Perry concert in full kit.   Have we ever felt safer?   There's a Men's series that allegedly happened in South Africa at the same time. Nothing has ever meant less. Marnus smashed ‘em but...

What’s the connection between club cricket collapses and not caring? Also: WWC, Jadeja’s catch, returning to Newlands, Copeland’s 300 and getting around Slug Wbster.   Seb Gotch is in unbelievable form as we chat about disappointing his AFL playing and coaching Dad, fashion statements, Ben Dunk putting a microphone down his box, growing up at the CA centre of excellence/Marvel movie lab, Twitter t...

The Women’s World Cup has kicked off in earnest and we dedicate the first ten minutes to wrong’uns: their violence, their humiliation, and how they look easy to play (for retired third-graders watching on TV). Mankads have also come up again – so we respond in-kind with side-mouthed, black and white analysis because, as we all know, “it’s in the laws”. New Zealand cruised against Sri Lanka, though...

110. A Nation Expects, with Belinda Clark and Annabel Sutherland   The Women’s T20 World Cup is upon us, and as needy Australians perpetually dissatisfied with our sporting success we’re asking: how guaranteed is this trophy for Australia; and if Australia fails, should we be talking effigies? Either way, our lust for trophies has TGC engaged in this tournament, and we’ll be following Lanning, Per...

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This week we discuss the art of the Mankad: what’s the best way to celebrate ruining someone’s weekend? The BBL finals are finally here, but are we excited about the big dance, or suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome? Meanwhile, New Zealand’s U19’s team are cheerfully carrying opponents off the field while ours are sledging Indian blokes on Instagram; seems like the future is in good hands. But...

This week, Ben Stokes is in trouble for firing back at an Ed Sheeran sledge from a South Africa fan at the Wanderers. Are we happy with his response, or is it a bit stock standard? Moreover, is it possible for anyone to go to this country and not get into some kind form of aggressive altercation/controversy? Either way, huge fears are held for Australia's upcoming ODI tour.   Back home, it's the A...

That weird India v Australia ODI series has already come and gone since our last podcast, and Mitch Starc bats five for Australia now. What else did we learn from these offshored ODIs, which took place at an ungodly hour behind a paywall, other than what the BCCI wants, it fucking gets? The BBL rolls on (will it ever end?) and the Brisbane Heat are an absolute myth – as is AB deVilliers, according...

The bushfires continue to rage on, but thankfully cricket is stepping up to the plate. Warney’s baggy green has gone for over a million thanks to a heart-warming donation from a beloved Australian financial institution; and a Bushfire Relief game is set to restore us back to Waugh/Buchanan-era levels of safety. As king of the coats Scott Morrison would indeed smugly say, “How Good!”   Meanwhile, S...

Will we ever lose a test match again? We’re feeling exceptionally bullish as we reflect on a dominant summer of home cricket where we have not felt threatened once (excluding the existential anxiety over climate change, of course, which continues to permeate our lives and influence our every thought, word and action).   Marnus continues to hit runs unabated, as Nathan Lyon snares another 5-wicket...

Well, Boxing Day is done and dusted. We’ve smashed the Kiwis on home soil and evicted an All Black for daring to drink half a mid-strength beer. We’re feeling safe, and therefore it’s time to play “silly buggers” to show we’ve learned nothing from sandpaper.   The MCG pitch was OK, but the bigger story is that the notorious Bay 13 has been replaced by the Boundary Social — yet another win for the...

Games are being cancelled due to climate, and half the country is covered in a thick blanket of smoke. Will the Boxing Day and/or New Year’s Test even go ahead? Thankfully, the BBL is quelling all our greatest fears by providing new marketing-led innovations such as strategic timeouts, yellow leaders hats, and increasingly bright-coloured uniforms. Of course, our anxieties are further triggered by...

Australia is back to what it does best: mercilessly dominating vastly inferior opponents on Perth-based cricket grounds. Marnus is providing much needed security at number 3, and Starc is bowling 145km and displaying excellent body language while doing so. So why do we still feel unsatisfied? Probably because it was 40+ degrees the entire fucking test and the existential fear of climate change con...

MILESTONE EPISODE: The Grade Cricketer has worked one behind square to bring up its 100th Podcast, but will a circuit and chop ensue? Meanwhile the MCG is cancelled for trying new things, stirring nostalgia for the days when Australian pitches actually lived up to their personalities, and reminding us you should never try and be someone you’re not. The Australia v New Zealand test series is fast a...

Suddenly everyone is hitting runs. Warner’s 335* — brilliant individual performance by misunderstood genius, or meaningless caveat-laden knock? More neatly compiled runs for Marnus as safety levels soar to new heights... are we “too” safe now? Meanwhile, Payne’s declaration is up for debate — should he have pulled Warner in on 334* as homage to the Don, or plundered 700 against a third grade Pakis...