The Good Enough Mother

How do we navigate challenging the model of self-sacrificial motherhood to ‘find ourselves’ as Mothers, when our children need us so intensely and we lack adequate support? What narratives do we attach to our identities and the ‘roles’ we occupy, and how do we foster connection with who we really are? How do we move from acceptance of our circumstances, into action to claim a sense of agency, whil...

What is maternal ambivalence and how can embracing ambivalence help us as Mothers? I share what maternal ambivalence is and isn’t, whether it is something we can ‘escape’ in motherhood, and how ambivalence is connected to ‘Mum guilt’ and our sense of identity. Ambivalence can be a way for us to shift and change our relationship to and experience of maternal guilt. In this episode I offer some sugg...

Have you ever felt judged as a mother based on the way your child has behaved? In this episode I discuss the concept of the ‘good child’ and how it relates to the ‘good mother’ concept – also known as the perfect mother myth. In the same ways that mothers experience social pressures and expectations around how we should act and behave, our children also live within social pressure, and this starts...

The social construction of Motherhood impacts us as individual mothers. This is the case even when we resist the ‘shoulds’. In this episode I discuss what some of these impacts are and draw on the analogy of the ‘fish tank’ to help describe how we come to experience the social dimensions of Motherhood on an individual level, and why it is important to consider ‘culturally detoxing’ from intensive...

Janet Fraser’s story is one that I think every woman and mother needs to hear. As she says, when feminists said the personal was political, they probably did not anticipate in how many ways this could be true. Janet’s baby was born still. She was then subjected to a police investigation, a coronial inquiry, media scrutiny, and public vitriol. As she articulates in her book and explains in this epi...

As mothers, we shoulder the burden of structural inadequacies but can feel these inadequacies as personal failings – like it is all ‘on us’. As so many of us are mothering in isolation, without the support or community that we need, this is so often the case - it IS left up to us and us alone. We are also socialised into taking individual responsibility for what are collective challenges, and sold...

In this episode I address what I believe are some misunderstandings about the concept and application of the ‘good enough’ mother as an approach to parenting. I recognise the subjective, complex, and changing use of language – as it is attached to meaning – and share some of the challenges involved in actually enacting a theory like this in our everyday lived reality as mothers. This involves defe...

Did you know that a Mother’s brain is more malleable and receptive to learning after giving birth? In this episode of TGEM I chat with Dr Jodi Pawluski, behavioural neuroscientist and therapist about the fascinating effects of motherhood on the maternal brain. We talk about whether ‘Mummy brain’ actually exists, and the interplay between both social and physiological factors that shape our experie...

This final episode of 2020 is a reflection on the ways perfect motherhood shapes the lives of mothers, and explains how and why the festive season and other celebrations intensify and amplify this pressure. I give voice to the often-invisible load that women carry at this time and the expectations on mothers, children, and the ‘family’ unit to ‘perform’. I reflect on the mental load, but also on s...

Dr Greer Kirshenbaum is the first ever neuroscientist doula and is founder of Nurture Neuroscience. She has worked in academic neuroscience labs, studying how genetics and experience shape the brain, nervous system and body to influence lifelong physical and mental health. Greer uses her knowledge and expertise from the scientific world to offer that research and information directly to parents an...

This is a conversation about grief and mothering, and the complex challenges that arise when not only grieving the death of your child, but in also supporting your children who are grieving the death of their sibling. I speak with Emma Poore, mother to 3 children, writer, illustrator, and author of ‘Where are you Lydie?’ – a picture book for young siblings and families managing the loss of a baby...

What does ‘conscious parenting’ mean and how does it afford us the opportunity for growth as mothers? This conversation is with Bridget Wood, thought leader on human behaviour and mother to three young children. Bridget discusses the ways conscious parenting is ultimately about being in relationship with our children, recognising that our child is teaching us just as much as we are teaching them....

This conversation about breastfeeding may be unlike any you’ve heard so far. I speak with world-renowned breastfeeding expert Professor Amy Brown from Swansea University, who specialises in research exploring early experiences of parenthood with a focus on infant feeding, mental health and normal baby behaviour. We talk about the pressure mothers are under to ‘get it right’ and how this is connect...

*Trigger warning – talk of intrusive harm thoughts. Perhaps surprisingly, having unwanted and intrusive thoughts as a mother is incredibly common, and in fact – almost universal. Yet, how often is this spoken about in motherhood? In this episode I interview Dr Caroline Boyd, a chartered clinical psychologist who is an expert on intrusive, unwanted harm thoughts that mothers have about their babies...

In this solo episode I reflect on the cultural construction of Motherhood as a ‘mask’ that we are expected to wear. We recognise, internalise and perform what it means to be a ‘good mother’ in our society. The power of this mask of Motherhood is that we are expected to wear it as our ‘natural’ state. It is supposed to come effortlessly, without complaint. We can convince ourselves while holding up...

Often, there can feel as though there is a conflict between the ways we would like to parent, and the social and structural forces that shape and influence our everyday lives as mothers. Amanda Donnet from Spilt Milk Psychology joins me in this conversation to discuss the ways so often, our ‘needs’ as mothers are framed as being in competition with the needs of our children. Negotiating this and f...

This is a conversation about the concept of ‘Matrescence’ as the transition into the identity of being a mother – a process that is unfolding and ongoing. I speak with Amy Taylor-Kabbatz who is a best-selling author, speaker, journalist, Matrescence Activist and mama of three. After more than a decade covering breaking news and current affairs for the ABC, Amy’s ‘traditional’ career took an unexpe...

In this episode I talk with Leisa Masters from Earthside Birth Services on the subject of money and worth in motherhood and in business. We are both single mothers and business owners whose work supports mothers. It’s from this context that we explore how mothering is financially devalued, and the correlated challenges we’ve experienced in running businesses that support mothers. This episode cove...

The ever-unfolding transition into motherhood is one that often asks us to connect in with our values, our desires, and our sense of identity, to embark on a journey of growth and transformation in ways that we had never anticipated before becoming mothers. This journey of ‘soul-work’ is the focus of this conversation with Dr Aleksandra Staneva. Dr Staneva is a mother, scholar, and psychotherapist...

This is a conversation with Eileen Robertson Hamra about her memoir ‘Time to Fly: Life and Love after Loss’ – a story of resilience, grief, and love, told with raw honesty and deep vulnerability. In December 2011 Eileen and Brian Robertson and their three young children were preparing for Christmas celebrations together, when Brian was tragically killed in an airplane crash. Ripping their world ap...

The imagery of the ‘perfect mother’ is almost the antithesis of the ‘angry mother’. Yet anger is commonly experienced in motherhood, particularly within a modern, western culture of intensified motherhood that places such high expectations on the ways that mothers should behave, feel, act, and live. Because of this, feeling anger when you’re a mother can provoke guilt, stigma, isolation, shame, an...

Motherhood has many challenges, some that are talked about more publicly than others. One common challenge within mothers’ experiences that isn’t often addressed, is how trauma – particularly childhood trauma – impacts the practice of mothering our own children, and how judge ourselves as mothers. In this episode I speak with trauma-informed Integrative Psychotherapist Catherine Counihan to explor...

This conversation is with Dr Oscar Serrallach, GP and author of the ground-breaking book, The Postnatal Depletion Cure. In both his clinical work, and as a father to his three children, Oscar has witnessed the enormous stress of modern motherhood and the health implications experienced by mothers. He has dedicated his career to addressing what he terms ‘postnatal depletion’. In this episode we dis...

This conversation is with Sophie Burch, mother of 4 boys including twins, and therapist and coach, who is on a mission to help people maintain their mental wellbeing from pregnancy through birth and parenting. Sophie talks openly about her experiences in mothering her boys, and shares her professional insights and expertise as someone who speaks to parents everyday about the challenges they face i...

In this episode I talk with Julianne Boutaleb – a consultant perinatal psychologist and Director of Parenthood in Mind – about the transition to motherhood, particularly in the context of the Covid-19 global pandemic. We discuss the dynamics and importance of the birth environment and postpartum period, and how parents can prepare for how their experience will be impacted by the context of a globa...