The Franchisees

New York City baby! Greatest city in the whole fucking world! All I'm gonna say is this city needs less Kevin McCallisters and more Luigi Mangiones Home Alone 3 next, Roger Ebert's favourite. Join us then, won't you?

 Ho Ho Ho! Or should I say Ho Ho Home Alone? I've already said it, it's too late to take it back. I might even say it again. Ho Ho Home Alone.  It's December and Christmas is looming over us all. Have you bought your presents? Have you left any of your children home alone? We're doing the Home Alone franchise.  Get ready for family friendly extreme violence. Get ready for Macau...

Midley Scott, Didley Squat, call him what you want. But the important thing is that he's still out there delivering consistent 2-3 star bores. And that means something. Show him so goddamned respect.  GLADIATOR II is here and we are not unlike the cheering crowds in the coliseum... thirsty for bloodshed and desperate to be entertained. And were we not entertained? Well no not particularly. Th...

The year is 2000 and the world is captivated by the return of the sword and sandal epic... who is this mysterious Australian man Russell Crowe? And most importantly, will we be entertained??  Gladiator I hardly know 'er Gladiator I'm glad he ate her and so on, and now that we've got that over and done with let's get really serious for a second: this episode was still recorded p...

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The second in Bergman's thematic trilogy, WINTER LIGHT is about the silence of God... and whomst amongst us isn't dealing with that these days?  This is an incredible film that we hope you watch and enjoy, and while we are two Silly Boys we try out best to approach it seriously and honestly. Most of this episode is Ben ranting and raving about how much he loved the film so be prepared fo...

Halloween in November yet again! Every year Alex, Ben, and our other friend also named Ben get together to do a horror movie marathon. Last year we decided to turn it into a podcast and this year we did it again just real special like for all you loyal listeners! We discuss the following spooky movies: HAXAN, BLACK SABBATH, THE BOXER'S OMEN, STIGMATA, and HIGH TENSION. Join us, boils and ghou...

From BAD BOYS to the "bad boy" of Swedish cinema... from HUMAN CENTIPEDE to the Spider God... that's right, it's a dark November of the Soul with friend of the pod, future guest(?) Ingmar Bergman. Alex and Ben are tackling some real cinema for a change with Bergman's "Silence of God" trilogy. Wish us luck! Our first film of the series is 1961's THROUGH A GLA...

Eating shit and drinking piss and farting and shitting and pissing into each others mouths forever hooray! We've made it to the final HUMAN CENTIPEDE film and thank god for that. Joining us again is friend of the show and repeat guest Katherine Vienneau.  We talk about MEGALOPOLIS, THE SUBSTANCE, and the film taking Toronto by storm THE PEE PEE POO POO MAN. We are later joined by Dr. Yuki who...

it's a spooky and fright-tastic bonus episode for you on Scary Wednesday ooooh! Ben went to some film festivals with CHERUB and it was spooooky ahhhh!  and he talks about how scary it is to be a famous Hollywood celebrity OooOooOOOOoooo! and then Ben and Alex talk (from beyond the grave) about some of the absolutely bone-chilling horror films they've been watching this October oh ah oh n...

Dubbel zoveel! Verdubbel de pis! Het is HUMAN CENTIPEDE 2 (FULL SEQUENCE)!   Alex en Ben zijn terug met een speciale gast en shit-expert Sam Edwards om het beruchte vervolg op de toch al beruchte eerste film te bespreken. Is deze film gestoorder dan het origineel? Is het grover en grappiger? Is het op zijn minst een esthetische verbetering? Je zult moeten luisteren om erachter te komen!  Kom volge...

Scheiße! Alex und Ben gehen Arsch-zu-Mund! Genau, es ist ein neues Franchise... THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE. Vom niederländischen Regisseur Tom Six stammt dieses berüchtigte und abscheuliche Schock-O-Rama.  Ist der Film wirklich gut oder ist er nur voller Scheiße? Seien Sie nächste Woche beim zweiten Teil der Reihe dabei, dem Meta THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE 2 (VOLLSTÄNDIGE SEQUENCE). Follow us @thefranchisees on...

Ladies and gentlemen... I've traveled over half our province to be here tonight. I couldn't get away sooner because my new podcast was coming out on Spotify and I had to see about it. That podcast is now flowing at two thousand barrels of content and it's paying me an income of five thousand dollars a week. I have two others recording and I have sixteen producing at Apple; so, ladie...

It's that time of the year again (or at least it was when we recorded this, we're getting really far ahead which is great and much more convenient for us, we are busy adult guys with lives after all!) that's right, Toronto Air Show time! Cower in fear at the display of our military's might! Please excuse us as we get frustrated throughout the episode with planes buzzing by. BAD...

Bad Boys II, Bad Boys II, whatcha gonna do when they Bad Boys II? We're back with perhaps the ultimate Bayhem experience, the purest expression of what purile pop American cinematic entertainment can offer: BAD BOYS II A truly repellent and maximalist film, one that has to be seen to be believed. What did Alex and Ben think of it? Before you find out you'll have to listen to our discussi...

BONUS BONUS BONUS! It's a special episode for you recapping 2024's Toronto International Film Festival, the festival of festivals, the greatest cultural event in Canada, the only reason to stay alive, the glitz and glamour and stars, it's hot, it's happening, it's here for you to listen to on a Thursday and you can pretend like you were there too! Ben and Alex saw one movi...

Bad Boys Bad Boys/Whatcha gonna do?/Whatcha gonna do when they podcast you? ayyyy what is this blank freakin' check with Griffin and frickin' David ovah heah??? No. It is The Franchisees with Ben and Alex you fucking moron. Welcome back! We're doing the first film in a brand new franchise: BAD BOYS. Michael Bay's first feature film... does he "have the sauce" yet? is...

Whoops! Forgot to upload this... blaming it on having a bad case of TIFF fever. I will update this description soon! UPDATE: We're back in ancient Greek, following the epic CGI sea(?) battles of Themistocles and Eva Green. Whoever wins, we the audience lose. Just kidding, it's not that bad it's just not that good either. What expectations could you possibly have for the long-gap 300...

300 romans like the trojans 300 greeks fucking yeomans 300 kanye's bipolar emotions that's right baby we're back, The Franchisees are back with past and future and current guest Katherine Vienneau to discuss the second film from "vulgar auteur" Zack Snyder, 300.  We're talking King Leonidas, we're talking Xerxes, we're talking Fassbender, Wenham, hunchback,...

Franchises were a mistake... it's time to admit it. No matter how great the original film is, eventually the rights will be purchased by Disney and they will make slop. Will we eat the slop? Yes... because we are pigs. But will we like it? Disney and Weyland-Yutani are not concerned with the answer to that question. We're back with the latest and (as of this publishing) last entry in the...

BONUS BONUS BONUS! Do you like the part of the episode where we talk about the movies we've watched before we get to the main movie of the week? Well strap in buddy, because that's allllllll we're doing this episode! Ben and Alex have been apart on (separate) summer vacation(s) and boy howdy do they have a lot of movies to round up.  Enjoy this special bonus episode! We watch too ma...

All our chips were on ALIEN: COVENANT baby, it's all on red, it's in gods hands now... so did it pay off? Well yes and no. Ben and Alex agree: it's a step up from PROMETHEUS and Ridley's gothic horror haunted house double android surprise is awfully good fun. What a strange franchise... we've had fun though haven't we folks. During the Weekly Movie Roundup™, Alex and...

The earth was young when Prometheus, the clever Titan, created all the living creatures from a mixture of earth and water. From his imagination, he fashioned birds for the air, fish for the sea and animals for the land. However, from the image of the immortal gods, he fashioned man. Bad idea! Join us we talk about Prometheus the Titan and PROMETHEUS the Ridley Scott film. I'm sure there'...

200 years after ALIEN 3 Brad Dourif clones Sigourney Weaver to extract an alien from her tummy. Thus sets the stage for the wackiest, goopiest, frenchiest ALIEN film yet. Revered French clown Jean-Pierre Jeunet directs and megahack Joss Whedon writes the cringe dialogue.  Our good buddy and comedian extraordinaire Joel Edmiston joins us again to talk about one of his favourite films in the ALIEN f...

ALIEN 3, from the twisted mind of David Fincher...? Well no, not really. From the twisted minds of 20th Century Fox more like it. And we're all worse off because of it! ALIEN 3 is a really interesting movie with a fascinatingly flawed production history. While Alex and Ben didn't particularly like it, they definitely recommend you watch it and then watch the epic making of documentary fo...