The Franchisees

We're back with special guest Joel Edmiston to cover the much maligned 1997 sequel to our beloved AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON, fittingly titled AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN PARIS. Not to spoil the episode too much but this movie sucks! The carefully balanced horror-comedy tone of the first film has been replaced by pure goofball Looney Tunes silliness, and not in a fun way! We also talk about s...

We're back! So sorry for the delay, we missed last week due to Ben being stricken with shingles. A late October witch's pox no doubt. But now we're back with another spooky duology so just pretend it's still Halloween for a few more days. Friend of the show, past and future guest, and comedian extraordinaire Joel Edmiston joins us to talk about one of, if not the best horror co...

The Vampire Lestat has been asleep for many many years... until he finally hears something that excites him out of his slumber: nü metal! In the very 2002-core film QUEEN OF THE DAMNED we follow Lestat (almost-Aragorn Stuart Townsend) on his journey to become the world's most beloved vampire rock star. Will the titular Queen of the Damned (RIP Aaliyah) seduce him or will the uhhh council of v...

It's October and we're neck-deep in the bottomless pit of horror films! Our good friend Jordan Seccareccia joins us again to revisit a Certified Cruise Classic: INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE. We talk Tom, we talk luscious production design, we talk (and mock) Mr. Bradley Pitts, and of course we go on many, many tangents! We also celebrate several important birthdays! Some other movies discu...

We're back and we're going down down down down, way down in the direct-to-dvd hole with THE DESCENT: PART DEUX. More caves, more crawlers, more throat-ripping! But first, we share out timely coverage of the 50th Toronto International Film Festival, surely the best one yet! Did we see much? No, not really. But what we saw was pure gold, right? Well no, mostly slop. But amongst the slop th...

New franchise, we're spelunking, we're caving, come join us! But before we talk about Neil Marshall's 2005 horror hit, please join us as we talk about this crazy world's descent into Charlie Kirk mania and Ben's latest nemesis 'cherubslayer123' (we recorded this episode a few days after he was killed so it was fresh then and now we're releasing it after nobo...

Comedy is now illegal in America and by extension Canada... we regret to inform you that this will have to be the final episode of The Franchisees. But boy are we going out with a bang! SPINAL CRAP POO is here to make us all laugh and remind us of the ravages of time! Is this movie worth seeing? Is it fun to be back with the boys again? Or is it just sad? Listen to find out but you know already co...

In ancient times Hundreds of years before the dawn of history Lived a strange race of people, the druids No one knows who they were Or what they were doing But their legacy remains Hewn into the living rock of Stonehenge Stonehenge, where the demons dwell Where the banshees live and they do live well Stonehenge Where a man is a man and the children dance to the pipes of pan Stonehenge Tis a magic...

Not a great franchise tbh! But here we are at the end anyway, at least the end for now. It'd be funny if they just called the sequel to this legasequel I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER. Just keep it going. Alex has seen no new movies this week. Ben watched WAR OF THE WORLDS, THE IRON LADY, THE SECT, BRING HER BACK, THE BROTHERS GRIMM, PROVIDENCE, MERMAID LEGEND, PAVEMENTS, BABY INVASION,...

This piece of shit, I mean really what are we doing here talking about this garbage, life is short, it's summer time we're supposed to be surfing and sunbathing and sucking cock, what is this, what are we doing with our lives, what have we done to deserve this, I'm going to fucking blow my fucking brains out! Just kidding, we're back with the third and clearly worst instalment...

More like I still know what you did two summers ago am I right? It's summertime again and the survivors of the first film win a free trip to the Bahamas... what could possibly go wrong? This film is filled with 90s horror sequel hilarity, including an inspired turn by Jack Black as a white guy with dreads who loves, you guessed it, weed and pussy! We got Brandy, we got Mekhi Phifer, we got Je...

A killer fisherman? A web of lies and guilt? 90s teens standing together on a poster in a vaguely triangular formation? It's all from the #twisted mind of Kevin Williamson! We're back with a new franchise: I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER. It's still summer right? August 17th is still summer. Not even up for debate really. Anyway, it feels kind of funny doing this franch before Willi...

We're back on track with a fresh new episode on the new NAKED GUN film starring Liam "Leslie Nielsen" Neeson and directed by Akiva "Lonely Island Boy" Schaffer. Are comedies back? Can America finally laugh again? How many jokes are there over the entire 85 minute runtime? Worry not, listener: we're going through this film bit by bit, gag by gag, larf by larf. We also...

ANOTHER EMERGENCY FRANCHISE UPDATE: they went and made another Jurassic movie. Hooray! Alex and Ben were dreading this one but to their surprise, this new entry is actually not completely terrible... and isn't that the best we can hope for these days? We're joined by Ben's friends and creators of the classic high school YouTube Jurassic Park parody video Cretaceous Park: returning g...

we're phoning it in again. it's summer!

We're back and we're spoofin' and goofin' yet again with THE NAKED GUN 2 1/2: THE SMELL OF FEAR. Is this sequel, full of laughs and gags, as funny as the first film? Or is it the start of those dreaded diminishing returns? Or can we barely remember what happens in it and try to avoid talking about it for as long as we possibly can? Listen to find out. We also talk about our fav...

In anticipation of the upcoming, similarly titled THE NAKED GUN (2025), we're looking back through the files of Police Squad an covering the beloved, hilarious, zany, and ZAZy NAKED GUN franchise. We're talking, spoofs, goofs, laughs, larfs, farts, and toots. We're talking Leslie Nielsen and Zucker Abrahams Zucker. Many of us have fond memories of watching these films on TV back in...

We're talking about the newest entry in the 28 DAYS franchise, 28 YEARS LATER. Danny Boyle, Alex Garland, Anthony Dod Mantle... they're all back baby and they've cooked us something real interesting. We talk about the crazy camerawork, the zany and wild tonal shifts, and try to make sense of the film's nutty ending.  Next week we're starting a new franchise: THE NAKED GUN....

Robert "Hitler" Carlyle stars as Johnny Weeks in 28 WEEKS LATER, the underrated(?) sequel to 28 DAYS LATER.  Join us next week for 28 YEARS LATER, here's a preview: it's good! Follow us @thefranchisees on Instagram and Twitter and email us at thefranchiseespod@gmail.com

SUPER SPECIAL AND VERY IMPORTANT EMERGENCY BROADCAST A NEW JOHN WICK MOVIE OR SPINOFF OR WHATEVER HAS BEEN RELEASED BEN & ALEX, YOU SWORE A BLOOD OATH TO COVER ANY AND ALL NEWLY RELEASED FILMS FROM A FRANCHISE THE SHOW HAS PREVIOUSLY COVERED FAILURE TO DO A BALLERINA (2025) EPISODE WILL RESULT IN AN IMMEDIATE $1000000000000 BOUNTY PLACED ON BOTH OF YOUR HEADS Ok fine relax relax, we're co...