The Franchise

In preparation for the new Alicia Vikander vehicle, Henry and Daniel do a deep dive into the Croft Manor with a couple of Jolie flicks. Is she good? Who's better--Daniel Craig or Gerard Butler? The answer may surprise you! WHERE'S YOUR HEAD AT AT AT AT AT!!

If you ever wanted to see a 1994 Charles Bronson chasing tail in the Vancouver fashion industry, boy, have we got a movie for you. Then, we try and mostly fail to put politics aside in going to see the mixed bag that is the Eli Roth/Bruce Willis version of this classic tale. 

Charles Bronson returns to NY to razzle the Foot Clan with some McCallister-esque booby traps, and then he skips on back to LA to solve America's cocaine crisis. Just say no!

In anticipation of Eli Roth's remake, Dan and Henry get super bummed out by Michael Winner's originals, a couple of gross rapesploitation movies about how helpful guns are. Come for the second amendment rants, stay for the Herbie Hancock and Robert Plant scores. 

Henry and Daniel venture off to the multiplex to sit alone in the dark and watch the final Fifty Shades movie. Let's tie up some loose ends.

We're joined by Shandy to discuss the first entry in BDSM Twilight fan-fiction series 50 Shades of Grey. What will happen when we tumble into Christian Grey's office looking for some erotic thrills? Come find out. After all, we don't make love. We fuck. Hard. 

Danny Boyle follows up his masterpiece about addiction in Edinburgh twenty years later with two hours of nostalgia and cool camera shots. One of us loved it and one of us hated it.

We discuss the era of Apatow, as we act totally normal and hilarious. Rogen. Hill. Segel. Baruchel. Starr. Heigl. Mann. Rudd. Fox. Yi. O'Dowd. Dunham. All the greats. 

We are joined by Real Weird Sister Martha Krebill (@realweirdmartha) to discuss a formative franchise in her life, but a brand new one to our intrepid hosts. Daniel, Henry and the future Martha Bartha get to open that Cage door, which leads to Gates (is that a clue?). 

Henry and Daniel diverge on the two latest Star Wars films. Prepare for some defense and some offense. There's only one thing that's certain: the Porgs are the best. 

First, we are forced to cover a cartoon pasted together with spaghetti and play-doh, and then JJ Abrams shows up to try to put the whole thing back together. Henry, we're home.

Skin is better than sand and Revenge of the Sith is better than Attack of the Clones. These are the two truths we will now live by.

It's The Franchise Holiday Special! Merry Christmas and Happy Life Day! And R2-D2 as R2-D2!

The Ewoks brutalize the Star Wars saga. Then, 16 years later, Jar Jar eats its remains. Yippee!

Here it is! The Franchise to end all Franchises! Hear an early recording of George Lucas discussing The Star Wars with Steven Spielberg! Then, stay for Henry and Daniel discussing one for the pantheon. 

Joe Johnston cobbles together something that resembles a movie. Then, the franchise reboots to the tune of a one and a half billion dollars. Might there be merit in one or both? 

Mike Bloom (@AMikeBloomType, of Rob Has a Podcast, Parade.com, Survivor Historians and lots of other great podcasts) takes us all the way back to the Jurassic age! Meaning those Spielberg dinosaur movies from the 90s. We're gabbing Goldblum and jabbering Jackson and one of us even knocks Neill! Hang on to your butts.

Christian Toto (@HollywoodinToto), from the Hollywood in Toto podcast and website, joins us to discuss a tale as old as time: Ancient Egyptian white lady vanishes into thin air, meets aspiring sculptor, bones him after he builds her to be a department store mannequin. We've all been there. Then, it happens again! The only thing tying these two events together? A flamboyantly gay black man named Ho...

Special guest Jan Martino joins us to discuss the cult classic Blade Runner (at least 2 versions!) and its belated sequel. Is one of us a Replicant? Is there voiceover? Did any of us watch Soldier? Tune in to find out. 

DIG THROUGH THE DITCHES AND BURN THROUGH THE WITCHES AND SLAM IN THE BACK OF MY DRAGULA!!! LIVING DEAD GIRL!!! Henry and Daniel review the motherfucking Rob Zombie Halloween movies, you peckerwood son of a bitch. 

Steve Miner returns from 3-D Crystal Lake to helm the return of Laurie Strode. Then, Busta Rhymes helms a reality show. 

Everything goes to shit! Druid Princes! The Dad from Dharma and Greg! Paul Stephen Rudd! Baby kittens! It's all here. 

First, an alcoholic contends with robots and TV stations. Then Moustapha Akkad brings Michael back to battle his, I guess, niece or whatever. 

SPOOKIEST MONTH OF THE YEAR! SHOCKTOBER! Time to discuss John Carpenter and Halloween. And, uh, Rick Rosenthal I guess. Bleeding mouth kid forever.

We wrap up our Fast and Furious coverage with James Wan's gonzo Furious 7, featuring the most macho Robert Frost reference ever, and F. Gary Gray's The Fate of the Furious, which tries to keep a franchise from coming apart with the injection of some class.