The Franchise

Oprah, Uma. Oprah, Uma. QT rankings and major discussion of Kill Bill's flute.

The Franchise wraps up 2019 in style. With two more Tim Allen movies. Happy trails, 2018!

Jason Anthony Harris contributes sleigh bells, Henry and Daniel list their Top 10 Christmas movies of all time, and much fun is had discussing Tim "The Toolman" Taylor.

Finally The Franchise has come back to Rocky! We both saw this weeks ago and we finally got around to talking about it. 

Henry finally gets to cover the Nolan Batman movies! I'm legitimately concerned that he's just going to be finished with the show after this. So why not come and listen to them? Also, featuring a special appearance by JGL and an attempt to put Alfred in his place once and for all. Plus, Christopher Nolan rankings!

We say goodbye to the Schumacher era with a Schumacher ranking and a chilling discussion about a really cool movie. Then, Christopher Nolan shows up and Henry gushes for a really long time. 

Tim Burton jizzes a zoo, we watch a cartoon and Jim Carrey won't sit down. A trio of Bat-films.

Biff! We talk Adam West and Burt Ward. Then we rank every Tim Burton and try to sort out the relative merits of Arli$$.

Martha Krebill (The Real Weird Sisters) joins us once again to discuss the Wizarding World. But put dumb old Harry Potter to the side. It's all about Newt Scamander now, baby! We discuss Gay Dumbledore, Dickhole Depp and just how many Dumbledore boys there are out there. 

It's a river of slime! We learn what Baby Oscar is up to these days and discuss the relative merits of Janusz and Vigo. Then, we mansplain Paul Feig to you and discuss just what was going on with that reboot.

We rank every Bill Murray movie, chat about Ivan Reitman and discuss the titles of the new Avatar movies while Henry nerds out hard over one of his favorite movies of all time. Also, a deep dive into the ultimate ghost blow job.

We FINALLY get to see Freddy molest some kids. Then we ranked all the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. Won't you join us as we wrap up October?

Wes returns to sketch out Scream and also to save the world from an ancient evil force who looks like Robert Englund or whatever. Then, we finally get our old friend Jason back. We just wanted to take another look at him.

The boys are back in Haddonfield for an all-new Laurie Strode adventure! Plus, John Carpenter rankings!

Jason Anthony Harris (Public Speaking) joins us to discuss Tadpole Demons, Negligent Orderlies, the Nintendo Power Glove and the full history of Mr. Frederick Krueger.

We rank the Arquettes. Also, we dig into two more Nightmares Upon Elm Street. What won't Robert Englund do? Whither the Fat Boys? Does Freddy sleep? So many questions answered. (Sorry it sounds like this. Technical Diffs this week).

Spooktober is finally here and we've decided to cover this Robert Englund child murder octilogy! First, Henry checks out the original for the first time ever and Daniel compiles a Wes Craven ranking. Then, we get our finest leather gear on and watch a crazy sequel with a predatory gym teacher. 

It took us forever to get to this one, like a cruise ship leisurely riding the open surf into a small resort community. Pop quiz, hotshot! We answer the big questions: Is Keanu good? Is Sandy B.? Dennis Hopper is, but what about Willem Dafoe? Was UB40 wiped out in an explosion? All this and more on The Franchise. 

Resident Predator expert Aaron Farinelli (whalefall.com) joins us once again on this bonus episode to discuss the already-forgotten Shane Black entry in the series. Where does it rank? Plus, Henry learns of Shane Black's sex offender friend live on air! 

We say goodbye to our Harry Potter coverage (for now) a day early! (Enjoy!) We'll answer all your burning questions: Did Lavender Brown survive? Do we like Alfonso the best? Who is Turtle in Harry's entourage? Just how many Weasleys are there??? Plus, a Harry Potter ranking!

Tim Ahlin joins us (disrupts us?) to discuss his vasectomy. We also occasionally bring up these two Harry Potter movies, one of which Henry was way into. Tim unveils two new theme songs and he and Henry stonewall Daniel throughout. It all ends up being a pretty good time. 

The Real Weird Sisters turn off the niceties and come on to do some straight-up Franchise ranting! You'll get to hear the name "Alfonso" spoken in withering tones. You'll learn whether Henry understands what Wormtail means. You'll even find out whether Alice Asleson and Martha Krebill are Team Edward or Team Jacob. It's all right here on our longest and bestest episode ever. 

We pop over to Platform 9 3/4 to take a chugga chugga choo choo trip all the way to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, with its overbearing, biased-as-fuck headmaster Albus Dumbledore. We talk about the books and the crazy casts of these movies, and discuss whether Quidditch makes sense and whether Americans would like it. Here's a sock.

We take a trip to Nilbog this week, in what somehow became our longest episode to date, to discuss Troll and Troll 2 with special guest Aaron Farinelli (Whale Fall). But don't worry. Our double decker bologna sandwiches will surely protect us from the evils of vegetarianism. Plus, a special appearance from a certain ornery Italian filmmaker! 

A Tony Scott ranking. Visits from Garry Marshall, Penny Marshall and George Lucas. A ranking of everything Jon Landis has created, from An American Werewolf in London all the way down to Max Landis. What a podcast this is.