The Financial Therapy Podcast - It's Not Just About The Money

When someone in this position calls me for help in changing a hurtful financial behavior, I struggle with the next question: So what does a person do? What are the next steps? Typically, I explain that the solution does not lie in knowing more information, but in understanding the emotional baggage that underlies the behavior. The best thing to do is call a financial therapist. The next best thing...

Financial Trauma are money-related occurrences that, either as single extreme events or chronic patterns, can overwhelm a person and become traumatic. Some emotional signs of financial trauma are depression, ambivalence, regularly reliving the original event, anger, mood swings, overeating, trouble concentrating, chronic fear, shame, and anger. Emotional trauma can develop around eight general typ...

One of my retired clients is fond of telling me, “Growing old is not for the faint of heart.” As we age, it becomes increasingly important for us to have a support system that will advocate for us, or “have our back.” Putting such a support system in place doesn’t just happen; it takes time, money, and intentionality. I know far too many people who have no one looking after their emotional, physic...

The FIRE ( Financial Independence, Retire Early ) movement advocates extreme frugality in order to retire as early as age 30. The biggest challenge with the skills and discipline needed for a FIRE plan is not starting it (which isn’t necessarily easy) but stopping (which can be very difficult). Why? Like building an actual fire, building frugality into one’s lifestyle starts slowly. For some saver...

Dick Wagner, CFP, was fond of saying that understanding money and how it works is a 21st Century survival skill. This is not an exaggeration. What you don’t know about money—as well as what you think you do know about money—has the potential to literally kill you and those you love.  A comprehensive research project done by Columbia University in 2011 on the impact of social factors on mortality f...

People that have money scripts like, “You should not tell others how much money you have or make,” “Money should be saved not spent,” and “I would be a nervous wreck if I did not have money saved for an emergency,” typically struggle with Money Vigilance.  “Work hard, play hard” is a foreign concept to Money Vigilants. This money script category is associated with poor relationships, lack of leisu...

People that have money scripts like, “People are only as successful as the amount of money they earn,” “If something is not considered the ‘best,’ it is not worth buying,” or “Your self-worth equals your net worth,” typically struggle with Money Status. This money script category is often predictive of compulsive buying disorder, gambling, financial dependence, and financial infidelity. We all wan...

Do you know someone that believes that “Things would get better if I had more money,” “More money will make you happier,” and “Money would solve all of my problems.” If so, their majority of their beliefs about money may fall into a category that financial therapists call Money Worship. People with a high level of these types of money scripts are associated with being young, single, lower levels o...

Do you know someone that believes money is bad, creates anxiety, and that rich people are greedy?  Do they believe that they don’t deserve money?  If so, their majority of their beliefs about money may fall into a category that financial therapists call Money Avoidance.  People with these types of money scripts are associated with lower levels of education, income and net worth and often have a ra...

Money scripts, those beliefs that influence every money decision we make, underly and form chronic harmful money behaviors.  We’ve identified 13 harmful money behaviors that can negatively affect a person’s financial wellbeing.  Learn how these behaviors form in us, typically as young children and can destroy a person’s finances.  Do you have any?  Listen and find out.    A podcast that blends the...

How much is a tax deduction worth? Maybe less than your money scripts and the emotions that drive them would have you believe. Here are some common ways that over-emphasizing deductions may reduce your tax bill, but actually cost you more money than you save. Find out how separating your money scripts and emotions from the decision to deduct or not deduct can save you thousands and pay financial a...

“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Most of us are familiar with this tidbit of immense wisdom. That doesn’t necessarily mean we follow it when it comes to either our physical, emotional or financial health.  According to a Modern Healthcare article, 60% of visits to the emergency room in 2017 were preventable.  A much higher percentage of financial “emergency” scenarios could be co...

"Mom, I can't take time off work today to take you to your doctor's appointment, so I've arranged to pay for an Uber driver instead." The elderly parent's need for transportation is met. The son or daughter's obligation and desire to help is fulfilled, with the Uber expense much less than the cost and disruption of taking time off work. It's a win/win for ev...

Does the executor of an estate deserve to be compensated for that service? Absolutely.  Serving as an executor is often a time-consuming, emotionally draining, and thankless task. It means taking on a part-time job. Often, executors have day jobs so the duties of being an executor happen during lunch hours, after work, and on weekends. Yet the issue of payment for an executor, especially one who i...

Whether one is named as the executor or personal representative in a will or the trustee or successor trustee for a trust, being chosen to carry out someone’s last wishes can be viewed as a high compliment. The person selected often feels so honored to be named that the response is almost always a gracious agreement. In most cases, neither party understands the huge time commitment, complexity, an...

IFS Informed Financial Therapy is a powerful mechanism for change.  Becoming certified in IFS Therapy is accessible to every Certified Financial Therapist, even if they don't have a graduate degree specifically in mental health counseling.  IFS certification, which is a lengthy and intense process,  gives the Certified Financial Therapist an evidence-based model of therapy that can enhance th...

A panel presentation at the Global Wellness Summit held in November 2020 predicted several wellness trends in 2021. One that caught my attention was "A great 'un-tabooing': Wellness gets real about sex, money and death." One panelist said there is going to be "a massive and seismic cultural taboo toppling," suggesting we will see people getting "real about money...

Have you ever had a financial shock, like a job loss, a bankruptcy, or identity theft? How about chronic financial stress around money, or continual worry and anxiety around money?  All of these are deeply distressing or disturbing experiences, which is the definition of trauma.  Trauma, especially financial trauma, may be much different than you think it is and it’s highly likely you’ve experienc...

Investment success requires that a person have a high tolerance for boredom, which means turning a deaf ear to the financial press’s investment panic-de-jour. It's good for your financial health to avoid following the advice of prognosticating financial soothsayers.  Even when one of them is me.  In May of 2020 as the pandemic was shutting down the economy, I made a firm recommendation to my...

Every financial behavior makes perfect sense when we understand our underlying beliefs, our money scripts. While most money scripts form in your first decade of life, they drive your financial decisions.  It’s sobering to discover a bunch of internal children are often in charge of our adult financial life! In this episode we talk about how our money scripts formed and how we can uncover the 50 –...

We hear a lot about financial literacy.  What we don’t hear is why it usually doesn’t work.  Learn the one time that financial literacy education is required.  What are the three things that are usually left out of most financial literacy courses?  How can you teach your kids financial skills that will be with them for life? Join Rick in this episode to learn the answer to these and other question...

"If I was your financial adviser, I would tell you that engaging me is not a good deal for you." I’ve told hundreds of prospects this over my nearly 40-year career. While almost everyone would benefit from having a fee-only personal financial planner to advocate for their best interests, it’s not in everyone’s best interest to engage one, especially when they can’t afford one. While it c...

After you retire, do you still need financial planning or financial therapy? And can you afford it? The answer to the first question is clearly "yes." The answer to the second is "It depends." Ironically, if you have a fee-only financial planner who is your advocate, chances are when you retire and no longer can afford them that they will tell you to fire them before you do. Re...

A popular money script is to assume that fame, accomplishments, and excellence in one’s field equate to financial security. Like any money script, this can be true in some cases and incorrect in others. But it is interesting to me that the common attitude is that a famous or intelligent person is financially secure, until proven otherwise.  This is all to often not the case... Research tells us th...

For many Americans, one painful lesson of 2020 has been a first-hand demonstration of the importance of having an emergency fund. Yet knowing such a reserve matters is a far cry from creating one. Everyone “should” have one, which is precisely why many don’t.  If “should” is the word you associate with creating an emergency fund, I suggest trying a different plan of attack.  A podcast that blends...