The Financial Therapy Podcast - It's Not Just About The Money

Money probably isn’t what you think it is, even though you think it may consume your thoughts and run your life.  In this episode I delve into 15 elements of money that may surprise you, anger you, or maybe relieve you.  Your understanding of money may never be the same again. A podcast that blends the nuts and bolts of financial advice with the emotions that drive our money decisions. Join Rick K...

The Vow of Poverty is a hurtful financial behavior wrapped in a cloak of looking good. Almost no one vows to exist in a state of poverty, which is not have enough money to meet basic needs of food, clothing and shelter.  The Vow of Poverty I am talking about is an intentional, conscious decision to minimize, even villainize, the importance of working for or accumulating money.  This behavior usual...

What is financial wellbeing?  It’s a question that was recently posed to me by a researcher based in Berlin.  I had a bit of a struggle initially defining it. I spend so much focus writing and talking a lot about what financial wellbeing isn’t, that I don’t often focus on the bullseye of the target.   A podcast that blends the nuts and bolts of financial advice with the emotions that drive our mon...

Why do so many people live in denial or avoidance, especially when it comes to money?  Because denial is a great place to be, especially when one partner becomes emotionally activated when the topic is broached by their partner.  Denial is a very effective tool used by our Protector parts to keep the wounded and Exiled parts of ourselves from having to feel unresolved pain. In a survey of 1,001 ad...

Dr. Jacob Needleman, author of Money and the Meaning of Life, suggested that one of the first places to begin building good money skills is to examine all the opinions you have about money. He compared our beliefs about money to an antiques store, where occasionally you find a priceless treasure, but which most often is filled with junk. He contends that we need to open the contents of our minds a...

Therapy doesn’t work for everyone. Research shows that therapy fails to benefit 25% to 50% of clients.   Of course, these findings suggest that 50% to 75% of people do benefit.  It makes sense the same is true of financial therapy.  These statistics piqued my curiosity to learn more about why financial therapy may fail. Are the reasons similar or are there differences? A podcast that blends the nu...

Therapy doesn’t work for everyone. Research shows that therapy fails to benefit 25% to 50% of clients.   Of course, these findings suggest that 50% to 75% of people do benefit.  It makes sense the same is true of financial therapy.  These statistics piqued my curiosity to learn more about why financial therapy may fail. Are the reasons similar or are there differences? A podcast that blends the nu...

There are a number of Halls of Fames. My quick perusal of the Halls of Game on Wikipedia found over 250 different halls of fame. Nowhere in the list was there a Single Parents Hall of Fame.  There should be. The emotional and financial challenges of being a single parent are monumental. A podcast that blends the nuts and bolts of financial advice with the emotions that drive our money decisions. J...

I once confessed to my clients that I had a financial planner. The reactions fell into two categories. “Should I be worried?” and “That’s a pretty strong endorsement of your profession, that you think so highly of your services you seek them out from a peer.” Should your financial therapist also have a financial therapist and a financial planner?  Find out why the best practices says they do.   A...

Speculators in cryptocurrencies content they invest for the hope of high returns. Research shows they speculate in cryptocurrency for reasons that were not just about the money. They all held personality traits in, what psychology calls the” dark tetrad,” which is a group of four personality traits: narcissism, psychopathy, Machiavellianism, and sadism. They also found there were three common them...

Your perception is your reality, regardless of what the facts suggest. When they were youngsters, my kid’s favorite TV show was Mythbusters . The host, Adam Savage, was known for saying, “I reject your reality and substitute my own.” He often said this in jest, but he was describing the human condition. This is especially true when it comes to money, where perceived risk is the risk you believe, w...

While money will not give you meaning in life, there is extraordinarily little likelihood that you will find meaning in your lives without it. The purpose of money is to serve and support the search for meaning in our lives. We are hardwired with two general conditions, the need to survive and the quest for meaning. Our material needs must be satisfied before we can ultimately satisfy the quest fo...

Greed, whether for money or food or anything else, is not produced by an economic model.   Whether people live under a capitalistic, socialistic, or communist system—or in a Stone Age tribal group—greed is alive and well in all of them. Every human being experiences it in some way and on some level. It has been considered one of the seven deadly sins since the early days of the Christian church. A...

As a financial planner and financial therapist, witnessing a client grieving over a financial loss is ubiquitous.  Financial losses include a job, a business failure, a poor investment decision, the loss of a significant financial asset like a car, home, cash, collectable, or precious metals.  Financial losses also include the death or disability of an income earner or breadwinner. The difference...

Among people that have accumulated enough of a nest egg to pass on, my experience is there is little thought given to whom they will bequest the money.  It’s generally a forgone conclusion any inheritance will go to their children or grandchildren. The societal money script around leaving an estate in the U.S. is “Good parents leave all their money to their kids,” and “the more money I can leave m...

In the past when I read stories about scams, I often wondered how people could be so gullible. I assumed that the victims of fraud were the elderly or less educated, had suffered a recent loss of a loved one or who were isolated.  While there is some data suggests that one in five over age 65 have been targeted by email scammers, being scammed can happen to anyone.  Nobody is immune to fraud and s...

The prevailing emotion experienced by many when any market is falling is anxiety.  The cause of anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically when we anticipate a negative outcome to an imminent event or uncertainty.  First, whatever you are feeling, you are feeling.  That’s a fact. It doesn’t help, and probably is hurtful, to tell yourself you “should” not be feeling anxiety ov...

Financial infidelity isn’t necessarily “the problem” in itself. It often is tangled up with other difficulties in the relationship, and it almost always will exacerbate those problems. Even though it is very damaging, it is something a couple can face and can heal from. Couples can recover from financial infidelity and learn to change the behaviors behind it. In my work with couples, we’ve seen so...

Not all money secrets add up to financial infidelity. Partners shouldn’t need to account to each other for every penny they spend. And saving on the sly for your spouse’s birthday gift is a lot different from lying about the cost of that new computer gadget you just had to have. Secrets cross the line into infidelity when they are for the purpose of protecting yourself from the consequences of you...

Keeping secrets in a committed romantic relationship around other significant intimate relationships usually doesn’t end well.  While an intimate relationship with others can include people, they more often include intimate relationships with non-human relationships, like with substances, alcohol, food, and money. A podcast that blends the nuts and bolts of financial advice with the emotions that...

One of the most important ways people learn is through observing the behavior of others. Albert Einstein once said, “ The only source of knowledge is experience.”  “Telling” is not usually an effective method of teaching unless it is accompanied by “showing.” When it comes to helping clients build healthier relationships with money, one of the most valuable tools facilitators have is modeling heal...

For an individual, overspending or underspending is a problematic financial behavior that can adversely affect the quality of life.  For a couple, the adverse effect of overspending or underspending is multiplied and multifaceted.  Not only can the behaviors be life threatening, they can also result in the termination of the coupleship. There are five possible combinations of over/under spending i...

“Be frugal.” “Save for the future.” “Live on less than you make.”  That’s my usual financial advice, and it’s well worth repeating even though too many Americans aren’t following it. Sometimes, though, I find it necessary to work with clients to overcome a different problem—underspending.  Huh? How can underspending possibly be a problem? Isn’t it a virtue to save and accumulate? A podcast that bl...

Financial denial is a protective behavior that is usually found in conjunction with several other problematic financial behaviors like compulsive buying behavior, gambling disorder, hoarding disorder, workaholism, financial dependence on others, and financial enabling.  It’s especially common in those that have to dominate Money Avoidance money scripts and Enneagram Type Nines.  A podcast that ble...

One aspect of money disorders that contributes significantly to financial difficulties is denial or avoidance. Many of those with money disorders attempt to cope by simply not thinking about money or trying not to deal with it. Rather than acknowledging the impact of their troubled financial situations, and experiencing the underlying pain, they try to ignore them.  The result usually ends badly....