The Fifth Column

Fresh from his campaign stop in front of a Miami courthouse , presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy stops by the Fifth’s Chinatown studio to very politely argue with Welch and Moynihan about a whole bunch of stuff. Including: * The donor class * What kind of conservative is Vivek? * Populism and free trade * A peace plan for China and Ukraine * The Trump indictment * Would Vivek take a position i...

Matt, Moynihan, and Kmele assemble in Chinatown to mull over another Trump indictment. No need for bullet points for this one because beside the predictable digressions into muscle-bound gay birders and homophobic Blue Jays, it’s a lotta Donald. So without further ado… And don’t forget: for the price of one very large coffee, you can help feed the children. Specifically our children. Who are very...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Despite being in a car in the city of Dnipro, journalist Tim Mak joins Michael Moynihan to talk about leaving NPR, moving to Kiev, and starting The Counteroffensive , his new Substack dedicated to reporting the Ukraine War. A few of the topics covered: * Tim arrived in Kiev the night the war started * Going back to Uk...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Ground control to Tucker C. * Episode one of the Bonkers Conspiracy Files * Also, we know what happened to that dam in Ukraine * But back to the white supremacist aliens… * Did the California senate pass on of the dumbest bills of all time? * Root causes and robbing Walgreens * Moynihan loves rooftop Koreans, thinks...

* Kmele is moving to a place where everything is free * ChatGPT is a fabulist * Moynihan’s new Orwell piece * Wikipedia v. AI chatbots * The assassination of (our) Kennedy * Random gossip columnist: Jamie Foxx was murdered by Pfizer * A better America: when Rick James met Linda Blair * BTW: Tupac Shakur was very dumb . And very violent. * Keeping people with dumb politics out of the various halls...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Stan Jonathan vs. Pierce Bouchard * The Lia Thomas of Pickleball * Owning a house sucks * “Lia has these books” * Kmele loves Thoreau * Matt hates Thoreau * Feinstein and elder abuse * “…to function” * On gas stoves and gesture science * C.S. knows someone with dumb ideas * Robert Murdoch controls your brain * Legis...

* Tina, RIP. Bill Lee, RIP. * Zone of Interest * DeSantis announces * Tim Scott announced too, btw * An increasingly crowded and unimpressive field * Our old pal Ethan Strauss joins * Why does Joe keep saying that…thing about Iraq? * “Trump is sharper than Biden” * An interregnum on Ike Turner * Ethan’s piece on Glen Kuiper * The American employment gulag: exiled forever * Paying indulgences * Is...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * RIP Martin Amis (and Andy Rourke and Jeremy Clarke) * “Pussies are bullshit” * A reading list: Money . London Fields . Zone of Interest. (Note: these all appear to be sold out on Amazon) * On Orwell and D.J. Taylor’s new biography * The Citibike “Karen” and her “white tears” * Online vigilantism * Salman Rushdie’s r...

* “Zero-to-insane in the first three minutes” * The terrible 2024 election * The right’s bizarre infatuation with RFK Jr. * The immigration crisis in NYC * The cruelty isn’t always the point * How the average American thinks about illegal immigration * Eli Lake joins to wish us all a Happy Durham Week * Takeaways from the Durham Report * The “heroes of democracy” are, in fact, the villains of demo...

* Charging the Islip Strangler * Moynihan’s weird bias * A bad WSJ podcast * The Trump townhall * Rating Kaitlan Collins * Journalists who hate journalism * The not Desantis response * Tucker’s Twitter take * Can he succeed? * Killing [TK], A Series * Sorry, but that guy you hate is actually really smart * That amazing Firing Line destruction of Leander Perez * Our grim election / memories of 1968...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Che jumps on the third rail * Unaliving all the bad words * Throat clearing Suedehead * Let’s come to a conclusion before we know anything, ok? * Another pretendian * You guys are like Glenn Beck too, you know * Nonsense talk about Western science from a nonsense person (and that insane Zoom intro mentioned by Moyni...

* A homicide at Broadway-Lafayette * Crazy strangers on a train * The dumb racialization of a tragic death * The “delightful” and violent Michael Jackson impersonator * Amazon’s Afrika Bambaataa impersonator goes to Cuba * On Tucker’s identitarian texts * Fox News’s leak war * The Daily Show’s 81% rating collapse * So many shitty late night talk shows * You won’t notice the writer’s strike * Hatin...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Moynihan on Maher * Los Angeles is a weird place * Kmele in Chicago with Nirvana’s producer * The mechanics of Hollywood that we don’t understand * AA and Scientology * A hockey disaster * We need more “black” hockey players * A listener on Father Coughlin and Ayn Rand * RIP Wes’s mom * First class talk * A listener...

He first came on to talk about a suicide in the porn industry . Then he came back to help us explore the origins of our roiling culture wars . And now Jon Ronson returns for his third one-on-one conversation with Michael Moynihan, this time to discuss The Debutante , his brilliant new podcast about high society neo-Nazis, bad swastika tattoos, Throbbing Gr… This is a public episode. If you'd like...

We’re back with one long episode in two cracking segments. First up, Welch and Moynihan ( Ed. note: Kmele is currently peering through a telescope on the South Side of Chicago or something) catch up on all the stupid news of the last week, including… * The news of certain…errrr……media layoffs * Defenestrations at Fox News and CNN * The “they-ificaton” of Tucker Carlson * The bizarro world of Rober...

* Kmele MC’s the FIRE Gala * Killer Mike blows the roof off the joint * This is a hangover episode * A celebration of FIRE, the great Harvey Silverglate , and various other heroes of free speech * What cable news network has created this climate of hate….in Japan * If only we could prevent shitty speech, we would be on a forward march to utopia. Right? * The temptation, on both the right and left,...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Kmele, Fruit of Islam * Via Chicago * Dominion lawsuit stuff again * Biden and America’s favorite bearded terrorist Gerry Adams! * Kmele’s Dominican son? * The life and work of complete psycho Leonard Jefferies * What do you all think of Amy Wax? * Peter Popoff and James Randi * A biracial question from a drunk bira...

* The arrest of Jack Teixeira * The bad showoff * Not a source, not a Snowden * How serious is the Teixeira leak? * Sorry, but the NYT and WaPo did the *correct* thing * The Tennessee 2 1/2: a plague of theater kids with dumb ideas * That really bad and embarrassing shout-and-holler preacher impression * That really bad and embarrassing Michael Steele clip * That really bad and embarrassing Andrea...

As an Easter and pesach mitzvah to America, we’re gifting this Member Only episode to all y’all…considering that we were on vacation and had no intention of recording it, it’s just Matt and Moyn, and they cover just one dumb subject. An annoyed text exchange about this whole “Clarence Thomas’s friend Harlan Crow loves Hitler” nonsense precipitated this recording, which also exists so we could resu...

Live in front of a crowd of five exhausted crew members, broadcasting from a suite at the Ritz-Carlton in midtown Manhattan (we’ll explain later), it’s another of those *forgive us father, for we are deep in our cups* episodes. So take it all with a rather large rock of salt: Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou, RIPThe philosemitic film festival Peter Sellers was, in fact, Jewish (Sameach Pesach, btw)Ugh...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * What was Kmele talking about? You’ll never know…. * Jewish basketball, Max Schmeling, European baseball players with consumption * Matt Welch was about to be Paul Castellano’ed * Are you a member of the UAE royal family? Get Moynihan on Emirates * The unsavory Italian members of the family * The knock-on effects of...

* Well, it feels good to various MSNBC hosts, late-night comedians, and resistance types * We don’t *know* how it feels * Because no one wants to admit that we *don’t know* very much * It’s all about race, actually * That NPR interview with Al Sharpton * The opposite of Alan Dershowitz * That weird AI letter * Fox News, Dominion, and brainy rooms * Random thought on John Walker Lindh * Random thou...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com * Tupac’s stepfather Mutulu Shakur * The adorable and execrable Dean Reed * The worst article The Atlantic has ever published * Champagne dreams and Fifth Column nightmares * Trump in Waco * Insulin girl! * That guy cutting your hair is definitely Russian * Georgian helicopters * Schultz and Lula and Russia * Stop say...

On Monday night, to a packed house of white supremacists and neo-fascists, Kmele debated the awkward proposition “Are we too obsessed with race?” Moynihan and Welch attended. They were amused and ultimately confused. So the lads unpack just what on Earth they witnessed. After thirty minutes of conversation about drunk Fifth fans and race-obsessed weirdos, they move on to more important subjects li...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com We’re still not sure if it was Peru or Chile or Gabon, but regardless…Kmele is back from his equatorial conference…but…is even really needed?? Why, yes, he is! Because in this totally sober, totally discursive Members Only pod, the lads touch on the most important subjects paralyzing the world today: Lenny Kravitz, ki...