The Family Archives

People these days are so boorish. They don't thank you for opening doors, they don't apologize, and they shoot you. Depending on where you live, the shooting thing might not be quite as prevalent as the other two. Still, learn some respect. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoice...

There are a lot of ways to shorten your lifespan. Smoking, drinking, all that kind of stuff. Herpes won't, but you still don't want it. As you probably guessed, this is a cheery episode. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Harold Ramis - gone but not forgotten. Violet is his daughter, so you'd hope she wouldn't forget. In fact, she wrote a book called Ghostbuster's Daughter. While that's on its way, pour yourself a spoon of cocaine and waste ten years of your life listening to us. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choice...

If you want a lot of muscle, you'll need to make some sacrifices. Flexibility, lifespan, ability to breathe properly. That kind of thing. Bob personally prefers you don't make the exchange. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Martha Haney took an axe, and gave Rod something to write a book on. Why does a woman behead her mother in law? We'll probably never know. If anyone can figure it out, it'll be Rod. It's a family tradition. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The mob is an oft-romanticized organization. That doesn't mean it's a good thing. For example, imagine trying to be a father while also dodging hits and feds. John Gotti Jr. did imagine it and decided it wasn't for him. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is this a time of change for you? It's not a time of change for the news since they seem to have their schtick down, but for the rest of us we have to try to make change a good thing rather than bad. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's time to get some sleep. Wait, not now. Do it after the podcast is over. Also, don't use Ambien to do it unless you can lock yourself in an empty room. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We're all sea dogs today, owing to Adrift and some other sea-related stuff. Nobody seems too excited about the prospect. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Looks like the Best Of is stuck in summer school again, but snuck in some great clips to help pass the time.  Clips Featuring: Butch Patrick, Dr Joseph Alton, Paul Mecurio See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Uber is great, unless you get shot. Then it's not so great. If you do get shot and manage to survive, head over to Sue and get some EMDR to make sure you don't end up with PTSD. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ian, worried about Melania, calls in to see if we know where she is. We don't, and the news is boring, so instead it's an hour of Trump and his latest shenanigans. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Trump has decided to fix our crowded prison system one person at a time, starting with Dinesh D'Souza and that other guy. Meanwhile India is the land of good spellers. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The world sometimes has doom. Sears, for example, is experiencing some doom. But sometimes there's bloom. Dogs are nice. So is learning how to prevent someone from dying in an emergency. Dr. Alton can help you with that. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Samantha Bee is adrift in the stormy waters of Twitter, because Poseidon is hungry and Roseanne wasn't enough. John Goodman is smartly staying the hell out of it. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

While ACORN 8 may sound like a description of a squirrel's daily life, it's actually a whistleblower organization. Widespread corruption isn't a secret, but without prosecution nothing will happen. Hence the whistles. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Roseanne's tweet has gotten a lot of people thinking. Did Twitter overreact? Did ABC? Well, if you have nothing bad to say like Marion you never have to ask these questions. Make life easy for yourself. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Was Dustin Turner a target of opportunity? According to the legal system, ask again in about 80 years. JD wants an answer sooner than that, so he's doing some investigating of his own. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In 1889 there was a flood. As if living in 1889 in a small town wasn't hard enough, imagine trying to do it while 20 million tons of water break through a nearby dam. Well, you don't have to, because Al wrote a book. That book is Ruthless Tide. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastch...

Is your friend an addict? What can you do? This specific question is addressed by Kathy's book. What a coincidence. What the title doesn't mention is that it also addresses what you can do if you yourself are an addict. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tom hated Deadpool. He did not hate Deadpool 2. Who knows why. Roseanne hates Valerie Whatever even though nobody even knows who she is. It didn't end well for her. With certain things, you should keep your opinions to yourself. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoi...

Out of the fire and into the frying pan! But at least it is still cooler there than it is outside. Enjoy this perfectly chilled episode on this hot Memorial Day weekend. Clips Featuring: Martha Kelly, Chris Franjola, Costaki Economopoulos See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices....

You can't drive your car because it could get stuck in cruise control or someone broke its AI. You can't watch TV because you're under 50 and/or don't want to pay for it. You can't go to the airport or you'll get converted. The only safe option is podcasts. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Vi...

Dealing with contractors can drive you to drink. And when you drink you might as well go to KFC. That's when you know things are going well. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Chris Franjola is a spoken word artist. Apparently, so is Murray. Both find Jeremy Piven to be an interesting person, along with everyone else who's met him. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices