The Family Archives

There's a connection between comedy writing and marriage: they both hinge on knowing what to say. Perhaps that's why Paul is so successful at both. Successful enough to write a book about the latter, anyway. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tony's in the southwest right now and it's kind of warm. Usually a motorcycle is a good thing in the heat, generating its own breeze and all. Not so at 120 degrees. It's times like that you need a gigantic car that gets 5 miles to the gallon. Because it's cool. Literally. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your...

It's a common belief that that people like themselves too much these days, but do they really? It's a fact that misery loves company, and overcompensation is a thing. Of course, there's a difference between being told everything you do is perfect and that you have potential. The latter is difficult to really say in 140 characters. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio...

Stephen has three different congenital eye disorders, but you still can't grab his arm. What you can grab is some half off software courtesy of Able Artists, assuming you're on a fixed income due to disability. OJ was on a fixed income owing to being in prison, but that doesn't qualify. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn...

Sex and rock seem to form a feedback loop in most cases. For the rest of the cases there's always those theaters that nobody seems to have been in. We let Denny keep the mystery regarding which type his trio is. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There's more race stuff coming out of the west coast. It's getting hard coming up with new ways of saying California hasn't changed. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What do you call someone who serves in the military for 31 years, ultimately dying for the cause? A pretty good patriot, right? What about someone who shames everyone else while dodging taxes? Not as good. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Aurora shooter is even crazier than we thought, which shouldn't really surprise anyone. And speaking of crazy, there's a cat killer somewhere in Washington and a people killer in the NFL hall of fame. Cats and humans should stay indoors until further notice. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choice...

Not much has changed recently.  Chicago is still heavily murdery and the internet still hates white people.  Winnie the Pooh is still popular after a 20 year break.  But soon a long-extinct supershark will start eating people again, so that's something to look forward to. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your...

The dog days of summer are upon us, and so are the dog clips of The Best Of! Featuring: Ian Punnett, Robert Kelly, Bert Kreischer See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You can't get your drugs in the mall like you used to back in the day because they're all failing. You have to go to the dark web for that now. It would be a better idea to avoid that place altogether, but you know. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

These days it's not uncommon for a baby to survive after being born 15 weeks premature. We can partially thank incubators for that. They didn't always exist, of course, and Dr. Couney was one of the first advocates, but not for the reason you might think. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visi...

Three out of four people currently in studio are married and none of them have committed any murders or been accused of quasi-catfishing. What's their secret? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What do you do about a misbehaving child? Currently, nothing, because the law won't let you. How about misbehaving adults? Pretty much the same. There's less accountability than ever, which both we and Bonnie have a problem with. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adcho...

Tom is convinced that Blurred Lines is actually a copy of Got to Give it Up, but we're more lenient. Radio hosts are well known for their leniency when it comes to being corrected. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Every seasoned radio host has a score of bad interview stories and Tom is no exception. Tracey is not one of those interviews. That's probably why he keeps inviting her back. Andy Rooney won't be around here any time soon, and not just because he's dead. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit...

Now that it's the year 2018 we don't have to rely on magic any more. We've got MRIs, CTs, and blood panels, all of which Ian has had recently. In the 17th century people often relied on perhaps darker methods to cure their ills. Of course, there's always the possibility that doing so will result in being hanged, but at least it's quick. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omny...

You have a subdural hematoma. Sounds bad, but you probably don't know what that means. Generally when it comes to getting better, it's helpful to know what's wrong in the first place. That's what Dr. Neviaser's book is for. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There are some news sources that aren't news at all. Hopefully this isn't a surprise to you. There are also some activists that are only really active the way someone who just overdosed on meth is active. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you want to get unhealthy, drink lots of booze. If you want to get healthy, do lots of DDP yoga. Warning: it's a lot easier to get unhealthy. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The afterlife is a comforting thought on account of how much death and suffering goes on in this life. People like William Howell contribute to both of those things. We may never know why they became that way, but at least we can document their crazy person logic. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choi...

Everyone has babies and everyone hates babies. Could this discrepancy be responsible for society's violence? Probably not. Based on recent news it seems like almost anything can end in murder. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

No outrage needed to enjoy The Best Of! Just a pair of ears to listen! Featuring: John Bush, Brian Scolaro, Ryan Stout, Chad Daniels See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Remember the 60s? The age of the Monkees, the Beatles, and Johnny Carson. But there's one thing they were missing, and that's Triple Espresso. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The life of an actor is an easy one if you're lucky. You don't see the thousands of people who don't get picked every year for stupid reasons. Those people have to deal with lunatics waiting for them outside comedy clubs. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices