The Family Archives

We sometimes get comedians who are crabby.  Less often we get comedians who are crabbers.  Being from Maryland, where the second tastiest crabs in the world live, it makes sense.  If you're wondering, the first tastiest are snow crabs.  Fact. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoi...

In the military, the element of surprise is one of the most important advantages you can have over the enemy.  That's why we're observing Veteran's Day three months early.  Surprise!  This hour's veteran is Matthew, who like all good authors writes what he knows. Rules of War: A ThrillerBook- bit.ly/MatthewBetley See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for...

Between music and horse meat, we as a country just can't decide what to ban and what to allow, and our debates do nothing to help.  Jack's never had a book banned, possibly because the censors don't want to cross a SEAL. True Believer: A Thriller (Novel)Book- bit.ly/TrueBelieverThriller See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn...

The truth is out here.  And in here.  Because we have Nick on the phone.  In his opinion, storming a government facility because it's funny probably won't go well.  We tend to agree. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When you were a little kid, you wanted gold stars in school.  When you got older, you still wanted them because they made you invincible, or perhaps because you needed more to open the door to Bowser.  But before all that, in an era from which nobody is still alive, gold stars meant you or a family member died at war.  You don't want that. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See o...

Tom isn't the only poor kid who became a non-poor adult because of the record industry.  Rudy escaped the communist regime of Cuba and made it big as a songwriter in America, because his life is a Lifetime original movie except real.  More literally, his life is a book called The Latin Hit Maker. The Latin Hit Maker: My Journey from Cuban Refugee to World-Renowned Record Producer and Songwriter Bo...

Another shooting has left people in a panic state.  As always, to quell your fears it's best to look at the facts.  That is to say, don't read social media or watch the news.  Watch Pavarotti instead.  Not many have. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Musical Monday (patent pending), and to start it off we've got the descendant of a railroad tycoon on to talk about the blind and the deaf.  He's also a music producer and writer.  Burying the lede is considered a good thing, right?  Anyway, after that comes UB40's 40th anniversary tour, bringing to close a pun 40 years in the making. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See o...

In simpler times, all you had to do was plug a pair of rabbit ears into your TV and it'd usually work kind of.  Now with all the compartmentalization and price increases we're starting to miss wrapping antennae in aluminum foil. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoi...

Taste the meat, not the heat on this perfectly charred episode of The Best Of. Clips Featuring: Dave Fulton, Larry D'Amico, Brian "BT" Turner See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There are a few comedians from Chicago.  As a result, you've heard the Minnesota vs. Illinois thing a few times.  How about a little farther east?  How about a lot farther east?  For those playing at home, we're talking about the UK. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/a...

Andrew grew up with a father who became a local celebrity through radio.  Stop us if you've heard this one before.  Wait, don't actually stop us.  We kind of rely on people actually listening. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's two days to VetsFest, so if you want to see a helicopter land, a plane fly, or Crow sing, show up.  It's free.  And there are no volcanoes anywhere near it, so it's virtually danger-free. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's finally happened.  After 7 years of never talking about politics - not even once - we've caved.  Anyone who thinks we regularly have hour long political rants is clearly mistaken.  This is the first one. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's fitness time, in memory of weigh-in Wednesday.  Whether you're trying to lose fat or gain muscle, we've got you covered.  If you want to gain fat or lose muscle, that's easy enough that nobody has written a book about it. Healthy Habits Suck: How to Get Off the Couch and Live a Healthy Life… Even If You Don't Want ToBook-amzn.to/2SCzzRZ Bigger Leaner Stronger: The Simple Science of Building T...

Paradoxically, there's a certain power to being a victim.  It's also well known that power corrupts.  Hence fake victimhood.  That doesn't mean there aren't real victims, it just means that society has gotten really bad at contrasting the two.  Middle children are arguably the truest victims of the universe. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for priva...

Being single can be a constant affirmation that your life sucks.  It can also not be that, depending on your attitude.  Stephanie went from one to the other, perhaps owing to some compound in cheesecake that makes you happy.  That compound is called sugar.  It gets a bad rap these days. Promoting Book - I Don’t Share CheesecakeBook- amzn.to/2M8O3b9Website- https://stephaniemillsbooks.com See omnys...

The media has gotten to the point where we're rooting for politicians with questionable motives and even more questionable mental health over them.  One day we might even stop voluntarily seeking out things to be upset about.  Maybe.  By then we'll be able to buy a castle for $50 and return to medieval times when everyone was happy, and there were wizards and hobgoblins. See omnystudio.com/listene...

Larry and Mary are in from D'Amico, and yes, they brought food.  You can't have any because we don't know how to convert matter into sound waves, but we're getting there. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Despite the fact that the Lion King is such a huge deal, most of us haven't seen it.  Yet.  The good news is Jim Slater is in studio courtesy of the Smile Network to help bide our time and chastise Tevin some more for the heresy of not liking The Beatles. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visi...

We have an ark full of clips to ride out the rain. Featuring: Joe Zimmerman, Adrian Washington, Earnest Cobb See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As Youtube celebrities ourselves - some of our videos reach a staggering 1,000 views - we're always looking for new talent to uplift.  In a few years you'll be talking about Joe's talents for chugging cold beverages and whispering, often at the same time.  And yes, those are considered talents on Youtube. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy...

Depending on who you ask, comedy is either spiraling into a dark age or coming out of a dark age.  Either way, it's not in a great place.  Institutions like UC Berkley policing as much speech as they can probably have more than a little to do with that. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit...

Adrian, our new regular, is back and he's at the Pourhouse.  Go see him or he'll be at the poorhouse.  If you do go and befriend him, he might come to yourhouse.  And as for the last kind of house that rhymes with "pour", we have no comment. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoic...

We're a strictly dry studio (today), which is perfect because Mike's latest venture is too.  Dry Bar Comedy is in Utah, a state renowned for its low alcoholism rates and lack of turkeys who want you dead.  It's the opposite of Minnesota in a lot of ways. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit...