The Family Archives

We were this close to creating our own Tom Barnard Show car, but the name Every Joy Pop Turbo was taken so we gave up.  Plus in the future they're all going to be called the Car 6 or the Car 15 because nobody cares what model of car picks them up and drops them off automatically. A free-wheeling show where we talk about Nissan's new autonomous golf balls, the future of rideshare, why Mary Barra ha...

Crypticon is back, and despite its name it's not about cryptids.  You know how you can tell?  Because Pinhead is there, and we already know he exists.  He's on the show.  Also we like to solve LeMarchand Boxes.  It helps keep the mind young. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoic...

The easiest way to become famous is to be conspicuous in some way.  You think Christopher Walken actually talks like that at home?  Well Craig is conspicuous for real and he's proud of it, possibly because he made it in LA.  Success tends to make people proud. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices....

America really loves giving money to other countries, then complaining that we don't have enough money.  It's part of a long-standing tradition of doing whatever you want and then being upset when there are consequences, going all the way back to whenever the first animal capable of being upset evolved.  We're nothing if not traditional. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omn...

We've reached a point in society where almost everyone is "on stage" at all times, whether that stage be literal or virtual.  As such, people die in the limelight a lot more than you'd think.  That is, unless you've read Jeff's book.  Sometimes people are even on TV without wanting to be, such as when Dog's Most Wanted rolls into town and puts them in prison. The Show Won't Go On: The Most Shockin...

After decision by committee, we have decided that clowns aren't scary, therefore Pennywise is stupid.  We also decided that neo-McCarthyism is scary, therefore Eric McCormack is stupid. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Go ahead and cue this one up as you are stuck in State Fair traffic, think about how bad waiting in a Socialist breadline would be. Clips Featuring: Dr. John Huber, Jordan Asher Huffman, and the legendary Flip Saunders See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Linda shaves the binders and rakes the zoomies.  Or whatever.  She does hot rod stuff.  And given that Cassie is Linda from an alternate timeline, the two have a lot in common.  We've already missed this year's Minnesota Street Rod Back to the 50s event, but it's only 42 weeks to the next one, so put it on your calendar. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/liste...

Can you believe these politicians?  Anyway, Jordan is the newest member of the Alan Parsons Project.  If that statement confuses you, you should probably know that Alan released a new album called The Secret. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dave's been on the hunt for ghosts, and lucky for him he found a few.  You can't eat a ghost like a deer, so instead you take video footage of them and put that on TV.  Although, has anyone tried eating a ghost?  It could be good. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adch...

Numismatists rejoice; the world's largest coin hoard has been discovered in Tom and Kathryn's closet.  Some of them might even be worth a couple cents more than face value.  Think of the profits!  And then give those profits to the homeless apparently. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit p...

Socialism.  It sounds great, and honestly probably would work better than anything else if humans didn't instantly turn corrupt when given a modicum of power.  That's kind of like saying it would be nice if people didn't have to sleep, though.  It's probably not gonna happen.  We'll let you know when we find an economic system that works when accounting for the human condition. See omnystudio.com/...

Every field has its heroes.  Comedy has Chris Farley.  Wrestling has Jesse Ventura.  Governing also has Jesse Ventura.  Non-comic acting, again, Jesse Ventura.  It's no wonder Tom has nothing but good things to say about that guy. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adch...

Ryan is gay, but more importantly he also continues the tradition of people on the show with very short hair.  Probably because it makes him aerodynamic.  His book is about the former though. I know, I'm sure you were all hoping to hear more about his hair, but we promise it's just as good.  Possibly even better. My Life on the Line: How the NFL Damn Near Killed me and Ended up Saving My LifeBook-...

It's Monday, which means everyone is upset about stupid things and they're running to Twitter to tell you about it.  There is one good thing: unlimited pumice will soon be ours.  A pumice stone is a whole dollar, so the hard times are nearly over. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcas...

This episode is as chalk full as the State Fair will be today.  Featuring: Frank Caliendo, TJ Miller, Pat Proft See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jesus said to turn the other cheek when someone attacks you.  He never said to allow people not to shower properly.  It's true that showers didn't exist at the time, but if they had he'd be pro-shower.  He'd also be anti-segway. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoi...

TJ is an actor, and he is also a philosopher.  We touch upon the nature of fame, religiosity, the media, and how crappy a lot of radio hosts are.  He also gave us hot sauce. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Car Selling Secrets 22 is here, this time disguised as an episode of The Family.  The entire literal family already drives Walser cars, so why not adopt their podcast too? Tom and Doug are joined in studio by Alex Davis. Alex recently accepted a sales position at Walser's Porsche dealership in Wichita. He's incredibly passionate about cars in general and Porsche in particular. Tom has recently fal...

Personal injury lawyers have a bad reputation, probably because there are so many stupid people who think their bad decision is worthy of a lawsuit.  Byron just happens to have a few examples. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What are you afraid of?  Serial killers?  Scary, but the odds are actually extremely low that you'll encounter one.  Ghosts?  Same answer, though the odds change drastically depending on who you ask. American Predator: The Hunt for the Most Meticulous Serial Killer of the 21st CenturyBook- amzn.to/2HcjmOX See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy...

When Liz came on, we didn't even know that she wrote every show Tom's ever watched.  She also wrote a book that we barely talked about.  Why talk when you can read? Don't Wait Up: Confessions of a Stay-at-Work MomBook- amzn.to/2LZRXUs See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/...

Speaking of the rich and famous, it doesn't get much more of either than Manhattan.  More specifically, the Plaza Hotel.  Donald Trump once lost millions of dollars on purpose just so he could say he owned it.  That says a lot about both entities. The Plaza: The Secret Life of America's Most Famous HotelBook- amzn.to/2TMeYuT See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/l...

Here's a secret: we don't like celebrities very much, as a general rule.  There are a lot of things we don't like as a general rule.  We used to like comedy until the Edinburg Comedy Whatever, but nothing gold can stay. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Football season is almost back, which means the return of Quick Snaps, with assistance/hindrance from Frank.  It also means people who don't watch football are going to have that much harder of a time finding something they like.  Apparently The Boys is great, depending on how evil you think Amazon is. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy inf...