The Family Archives

You may have heard Tom mention that he's a centrist.  Maybe.  Will is also a centrist, and he's also a cowboy, so he's got the upper hand.  If he likes Black Jesus then he might qualify as a stand-in for Tom if need be.  Furthermore, he's a comedian debuting a couple specials just in time for the holidays, so watch for those online.  Everything is online now.  It's the future. See omnystudio.com/l...

Here at The Family, we're used to two things: being unapologetically favored, and always having the last word.  Imagine our surprise when our guests are each one of those things.  Though to be clear, The Last Word is not in fact The O'Jays' last word.  It's just the last word. Unapologetically Favored: A woman. A leader. A testimonyBook- amzn.to/33GJTNq See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy info...

There is a constantly-running show that's older than most people currently alive.  No, not The Simpsons.  It's Days of Our Lives, soon to be memories of our lives.  Well, assuming you watched it.  Some other classic things that are going away include milk, cheap restaurants, and ethnic stereotypes in Disney movies.  Except Italians, they're still fair play apparently. See omnystudio.com/listener f...

There is much pomp and circumstance in this episode, but this time it's actually real.  What else do you call an hour that contains both the former editor-in-chief of Simon and Schuster and the former CEO of Citigroup's Global Investment Management?  They're both also about a thousand other things, most recently author. Passing: A Memoir of Love and DeathBook- amzn.to/36Y1XVc From Willard Straight...

Having a dog die on screen is a surefire way to get people feeling bad.  Pair that with about 70 other rapidfire tragedies and you've got a movie that's so sad nobody wants to see it.  Some people, however, watch things even when they're explicitly told not to.  Actions have consequences, people. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy informati...

There are basically two schools of thought when it comes to being an empty nester.  You're either thankful to be done with the job or you get lonely.  Or both.  Either way, it means a lot of free time, which means you can sail as much as you want. Uncharted: A Couple's Epic Empty-Nest Adventure Sailing from One Life to AnotherBook- amzn.to/37257aO See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy informatio...

Disney recently realized that replacing animators with actors saves a lot of money, so it's all they do any more.  Does it work?  Not really.  We're still going to buy Disney Plus though.  We're on a quest to collect every streaming service in the world.  They say if you collect them all you achieve media singularity and can actually watch every channel whenever you want, just like the old days of...

Row the boat clips, row the boat! Featuring: Tom Rhodes, Gavin Edwards, Roy Wood Jr. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Who's better, Sweden or Norway?  Don't answer that; it's a much more serious question than you realize.  In Scandinavia anyway.  The next time you go to IKEA, just make sure to be diplomatic. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We're changing our name again.  You just can't get in the news any more unless you act as ridiculous as possible.  We're also thinking of adding some clowns with air horns, maybe some fireworks.  Indoor fireworks, of course.  Safety first. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices...

We've heard his voice, but never seen his face.  Such is the life of a crime fighter.  Today we finally learn his true identity, and also his true thoughts on texting while driving.  At the risk of spoiling the episode, he does not view it positively. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit po...

Tom and Doug basically share the same birthday, which is convenient because then we can just count the show as their birthday party.  We're nothing if not frugal.  And speaking of frugal, we have plenty of stories about the elderly, having descended from some of them ourselves. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more abou...

Who knew that Nik has such severe back pain?  As of today, all of us.  With everyone so afraid of opiates, everyone is looking for a way to get rid of their pain without them, Nik included.  New research suggests that watching The Lighthouse may relieve your pain by numbing your body and mind for several hours. Release Yourself from Back Pain Without Opioids: The Truth Behind the Cause and the Cur...

Apparently Seattle has gone downhill in recent years.  We blame lack of Frasier.  We also blame lack of Frasier for animal cruelty, which is somehow not a federal crime yet.  Bottom line: bring back Frasier and every problem in the country will spontaneously resolve. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad c...

50 years ago, it was a beautiful day in the neighborhood.  As to which neighborhood, we never really find out, do we?  Well we can safely say the neighborhood is a lot less beautiful now, possibly because Mister Rogers is no longer in it.  Well, we have over 40 years worth of episodes to pick from, so though he may be gone, his message will persist forever.  Introduce your children to him instead...

For the past century - perhaps longer - people have been saying "Christmas is starting earlier every year".  Well, every year they've been right.  That's not necessarily a bad thing.  Even within this room, some people literally can't get enough of the holiday.  That's why we're still searching for the door to Christmas Town.  The truth is out there. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy informa...

Wizard World is dead, at least in Minnesota.  Like the death of a king with no heirs, this created a power vacuum that shook the region to its very core.  Luckily Galaxy Con stepped in to take its place, so now everyone is happy.  Especially Jason, who will be there to discuss Ghostbustin' 911. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information...

Arguably, serial killers are the craziest people on earth.  An unfortunate quirk of the human mind is that exposure to crazy tends to make you crazy.  When researching a real serial killer, it's a fine balancing act between learning enough to write an interesting book and keeping yourself detached enough that you don't end up with PTSD.  A sign you've gone too far is when you start writing opinion...

Unlike this FAKE NEWS snow we are getting, these clips are gonna be sticking around. Featuring: Nate Abshire, Vince Wilson, Dave Mordal, Wil Anderson, Don Shelby See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Shock comedy.  Is it outdated?  Is it so outdated that it's prime for a comeback?  If the latter, Nate's got some good ideas.  It's okay if he says them, but not you.  He's like the Richard Pryor of his generation. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Beatles haven't been together in what is apparently 50 years.  Furthermore, two of them are dead.  But that's somehow not stopping them from producing more music.  Also, more murder in Chicago.  I know, we can't believe it either. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/...

Everything changes.  Especially cars.  Remember the days of all steel land boats that belched toxic smoke?  Ah, memories.  There is a downside to today's modern car/supercomputer, and that downside is more parts means more failure points.  Good luck trying to fix something with the complexity of the Apollo moon landing computer times ten. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See om...

It's that time of year again.  That's right, Tom is back on Facebook until people annoy him away, as is tradition.  It's also Halloween.  Depending on who you are, you'll probably be more excited by one than the other.  For Vince, it's the other; nothing says spooky like Edgar Allan Poe, and while he's long gone, his legend lives on.  Also the legend of his career slanderer, Snidely Whiplash.  I m...

We're very superstitious.  The writing's on the wall.  Wait, no, it's on paper, because it's a book.  Two books, in fact; you could argue that end of the world scenarios are a form of superstition.  And that's how you tie two entirely disparate topics together. The Day It Finally Happens: Alien Contact, Dinosaur Parks, Immortal Humans―and Other Possible PhenomenaBook- amzn.to/2ponLbO “Letters From...

Fox Hollow Farm.  Sounds nice, right?  Maybe ride some horses, pet some cows, dig up eleven human skeletons.  Take the whole family. The Horrors of Fox Hollow Farm: Unraveling the History & Hauntings of a Serial Killer's HomeBook- amzn.to/2Ps69pY See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcast...