The Family Archives

After his promotion or whatever, Tim calls in for some news about the news. You know how they say no news is good news? It's true. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There's a new worst rendition of the national anthem in town courtesy of Fergie and a new worst projectionist after someone put 50 Shades Freed in when it was supposed to be Black Panther. To be fair, he could have put almost any current movie in and it would have been just as bad. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more...

These clips just stomped a 1440 McTwist of a Best Of on their way to the gold. Clips Featuring: Ruben Paul, Chris Porter, and Hoyt Richards  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In a country of 300 million, bad stuff happens a lot.  Now, thanks to social media and regular media, we get to hear about that bad stuff all the time.  Still, if comedy is your job, you have to find the balance. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Kids may be emotional, but how much of it is genuine? Next time your kid is having a fit, pay attention to whether or not you've seen this episode before. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Burgers and wieners, like comedy, are often segregated. That doesn't mean you can't like both, like Dave, but people often have no exposure to one or the other, like Ruben. We're talking about meat still. Not races. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

After the topic of the Beatles, Dave and Mike discuss the best of Rock and Roll over the years.  Then they get back on track with another Beatles guest, Susan, who's here for George's would-be 75th birthday and the 43 years of music that he left behind. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit...

Author and world traveler Jeff Belanger climbed Kilimanjaro. And he's still alive! That's important if you want to write a book about it. Also, Ron McNeil of The Fab Four (the Beatles tribute band), AKA John Lennon, is here to celebrate the 54th anniversary of The Beatles' first public appearance in America. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for priva...

Dave fills in for Tom with assistance by Mike, who's always there.  They kick off the show discussing dumb crimes before a visit from Tamara Taylor from the new Netflix series, Altered Carbon. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In the past, being unable to tell the difference between an annoyance and the apocalypse was largely the domain of babies and teenagers. Now it's standard protocol. That's why it's important to learn context. Whether it's what happened to Colleen or what happens to millions of people every day somewhere in the world, it can always get a lot worse than the latest Twitter upset. See omnystudio.com/l...

Did you know that Nik has a book? Not only is it proof that typos don't negatively affect rating, it's also proof that getting trapped in nostalgia is bad for you. RJ also has a book. Hers is similarly inspirational, though it's more about choosing not to be a jerk than Nik's. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about...

For a long and healthy relationship, step one is to not be an actor. Step two is to listen to Chamin's advice. Also, don't have any sperm in your self-portrait. That one isn't as important, but it helps. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There are a lot of stories about famous people. Most of them are too crazy to be true, and most of those are in fact not true at all. It is true that Dave is related to a future Polar Plunge participant. You can tell it's true because it doesn't sound fake. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Vi...

Whether they're professors in ivy league classrooms or comedians in cars, odds are they don't have anything interesting to say even though they're getting paid millions to say it. Prestell has something to say that matters, but in order for her to become a millionaire you'll have to buy her book. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy informati...

They're thinking about changing EBT to just B, for Box. People aren't happy, because people are always unhappy about everything. Everything except the idea of having sex with a fish monster. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Paolo Macchiarini lied about everything. For an in-depth checklist, watch Pamela's documentary, conveniently titled He Lied About Everything. Until then, trust that when we say everything we mean everything. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There's a new spice in town, and that town is Hate Town. Population, nutmeg. Mayor, Tom. Once he recovers from his poisoning, we go into the details that differentiate an axel and a...whatever the other thing was. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you're allergic to blackberries, don't listen to this episode. Or see Peter Rabbit. At least not if you have a helicopter mom. If there's one thing we can say about North Korea it's that its citizens have actual timportant things to worry about. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podca...

Despite the success of this episode of The Best Of there is no need to grease any light poles because these clips have some class. Featuring: Jimmy Shubert, Chris Kattan, and Brenda Cantrell See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Chris is well known for floating to America on a tire. Wait, that's someone else. What Chris is really known for took place on Saturday Night. And was Live. If you've solved our riddle, buy his book for more information on the topic. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/a...

It's not uncommon to get a rash in a forest, but the forest Jackie visits is purely theoretical. Still, she managed to get some sort of arboreal disease. That or something from New York City, which is the exact opposite of a forest. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/ad...

Since our livelihoods depend on people using smartphones, we don't necessarily endorse Jimmy's opinion on them. We do endorse the rest of them though. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Eureka springs is a page right out of history. The late 19th century, to be exact. It's also where Sean is based out of on account of the old, aesthetically spooky buildings. Don't ask Sean, but the spookiness may go beyond aesthetic. Dave has seen some things. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices...

If you want to bulk up, eat protein. If you want to resign from the presidency, break into a hotel. These are both obvious to the well-informed. Lynn has even documented the latter in the form of courtroom drawings. A literal world apart from Tokyo, her former home. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad ch...

Two German exchange students join courtesy of Mike Bryant, which Tom is clearly excited about. Who knew he liked Germany? Max, despite having a German last name, is more interested in Vietnam. Specifically the war part. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices