The Dichotomy Diaries Podcast

Dear Diary & Listeners,   Welcome to the second to LAST episode in MY part of this tragic story.    We've been on a wild ride together.    But you know what...?  There's no one else I would have rather taken this trip with.    Episode 19 really needs no introduction, but I might as well give you a taste...   This is the episode where you find out how my marriage really ended.  Yep. This is the...

Dear Diary & Listeners, While I had hoped the justice system would come through, it fell short, leaving me disappointed. Did I get the justice I deserved? Not at all. My experiences were dismissed, making them seem like lies. But does it matter in the grand scheme of things? Also -Nope. Why? Because even if the court didn't see it, I know the truth, and now - so do you. That feels like a win t...

Dear Diary & Listeners, Stress has taught me a lot this year.  I have learned that stress can be both debilitating AND motivating.  I have learned that no one cares what is going on in your life; they expect you to keep it moving as usual- no matter the price.  I have learned that while devastatingly debilitating at times; stress can sometimes be invisible to anyone other than yourself.    So...

Dear Diary & Listeners, You ever just want to pack a bag, grab your dogs, and drive to the furthest possible corner of the map and DEEP exhale into the vast nothingness? Yeah...Me too. This is where I am this week. After returning home from an exhausting work trip; the inevitable happened.  I got sick.  And when I say sick, I mean SICK. Influenza A got cha girl in a choke hold. Bang, Bang.  I...

Dear Diary & Listeners, The flood gates are open and the reflective thoughts are pouring in.    Values. I've been talking a lot about family lately, but what about unique values I desire in a man? I know you'll be shocked to know...(sarcasm) that every single one of these unique values are dead opposite of Dick.    It feels good to think for myself again. I finally have my present and future b...

Dear Diary (& Listeners), This episode is a total standout for me. I hardly ever get to geek out about Italian Literature and why it means so much to me. This week, I had this awesome "aha" moment while chatting about my absolute favorite piece of literature.   But hold on tight, 'cause things take a wild turn. We're talking a whopping $14k in medical bills, I manage to rip a door clean off it...

Dear Diary & Listeners, I want to start off by saying Thank You. The Dichotomy Diaries has jumped insane numbers this past week and I have you all to thank for that.    Episode 13 starts off with an overview...and maybe a little sneak peek.   The point that we are at in this story is went mentally things all go down hill for me.    Naturally, this is taxing, but when I tell you it is C O M P L...

Dear Diary & Listeners, As I sit here today writing this, it is January 1st, 2024.  A New Year always brings reflection.  I can't help but think about where I was on this exact day last year.    I remember waking up in an empty bed.    I always enjoyed waking up and having the first view of my day be my husbands face. This day was different. The night prior I had felt like we were a team. He w...

Dear Diary & Listeners, We all strive to be the best at something.    For me, it was being a wife, a partner, a team member.  For others it might be more career oriented or status driven.    Not for me.    I've known as long as I can remember that I wanted to be a wife, a mother, and right hand to a fearless teammate who strives for greatness in life.    I've thought about this a lot this past...

Dear Diary & Listeners, There is so much I want to say.   Today I reflect on the fact that this is the TENTH episode of The Dichotomy Diaries... TEN?! I was so scared to release the TRAILER you guys... I remember recording it over and over again. On my IPHONE of all devices.  Something inside of me knew that this was exactly what I needed to heal, find purpose, and remember the feeling of self...

Dear Diary & Listeners, S U R P R I S E! You've waited patiently. So without further adeiu... I'd like to introduce you to Kyle.    Kyle is a past client, friend, and confidante of Dick. He is going to take us to school today on ALL THINGS FINDOM & Taboo. He will answer some of your most asked questions...and give you a look inside what it meant to know Dick, as an openly gay male client. ...

Dear Diary & Listeners, I am stressed this week.  I have so many things going at once.  The holidays crept up and I feel like I am burning the candle at both ends.  I've found myself in a strange lull because of the holidays. Everywhere I look someone is experiencing joy and new beginnings.  I held space for myself for a moment, but didn't let it get the best of me. Between family, friends, an...

Dear Diary & Listeners, You know the saying "If you don't use it, you lose it"... First off, I want to go on the record and call BULLSHIT.  Why? I'm glad you asked!  When I first met Dick, he was entranced with my brain. He loved the way I thought, spoke, and saw the world. He would tell me, even as recent as June of 2023- that I was the smartest woman he had ever met.  I ate that shit up.  As...

NOTE: This episode's audio is less than desirable, but if you can make it through- I PROMISE Episode's 7 on are INCREDIBLE. I really taught myself all of the things. Please do not judge The Dichotomy Diaries based on this Episode's audio quality. Dear Diary & Listeners, There's a theme this week.  We Teach People How To Treat Us. And while yes, what I taught Dick our entire relationship was th...

NOTE: This episode's audio is less than desirable, but if you can make it through- I PROMISE Episode's 7 on are INCREDIBLE. I really taught myself all of the things. Please do not judge The Dichotomy Diaries based on this Episode's audio quality. Dear Diary & Listeners, When I tell you I have had the busiest three weeks of my life. I am nowhere close to joking.  You know, sitting back right no...

Dear Diary & Listeners, I cried recording part of this episode.  And it got me thinking... Why did THIS episode make me cry? What is it about my wedding that sparks the tears?   You’d think that reliving the abandonments, the emotional abuse, and all the other subpar efforts confused as love would make me sad...   I know the answer.   This episode didn’t make me cry because I was reflecting on...

Dear Diary & Listeners, You know how some people say, "God will never give you more than you can handle"? After recording this episode, I found myself thinking about that phrase a lot. The process of outlining my relationship with Dick for this podcast has been filled with sorrow, but it has also brought understanding. There were so many painful moments I experienced during this time that had...

Dear Diary and Listeners, Surprise! I had fun answering all your questions.  Can’t wait for Tuesday!  See you there, Amanda   WE ARE ACTIVELY LOOKING FOR SEASON TWO'S STORY!  If you or anyone you know has experienced anything similar and is willing to share, please click the link below to schedule a time to chat with me.  Season Two Story Pitch Call Email: TheDichotomyDiaries@yahoo.com Music &...

Dear Diary & Listeners, I had a profound realization this week.  It's easy to view all that has happened as a loss. A devastating, painful loss.  Recounting my relentless effort and hope left me with this overwhelming feeling of emptiness.  How could I have given and given with absolutely nothing in return? Why did he never feel or notice how hard I was trying to love him? Was I actually lovin...

Dear Diary & Listeners, There is nothing more difficult than losing a loved one.  The pain one experiences when they can no longer hug, kiss, smell, confide in, and share life with a loved one is unlike any other.  Imagine experiencing this pain abruptly. There's just one difference, your loved one isn't dead. They ran away, entirely aware of the pain they knew this would cause you.  How does...

Dear Diary & Listeners, The Official Trailer for The Dichotomy Diaries premiering October 10th, 2023. Prepare to pick your jaw up off the floor every episode as you join ME: your host, Amanda Arnier on a tale of lies, manipulation, narcissistic abuse, compulsive gambling, male escorting, and the pressures of The Mormon Church.  WE ARE ACTIVELY LOOKING FOR SEASON TWO'S STORY!  If you or anyone...

Dear Diary & Listeners, Here is your second taste of what is to come in The Dichotomy Diaries. Prepare to pick your jaw up off the floor every episode as you join ME: your host, Amanda Arnier on a tale of lies, manipulation, narcissistic abuse, compulsive gambling, male escorting, and the pressures of The Mormon Church. WE ARE ACTIVELY LOOKING FOR SEASON TWO'S STORY!  If you or anyone you know...

Dear Diary & Listeners, This is your FIRST Sneak Peek at what is to come. Here is a taste of what to expect in The Dichotomy Diaries. Prepare to pick your jaw up off the floor every episode as you join ME- your host, Amanda Arnier on a tale of lies, manipulation, narcissistic abuse, compulsive gambling, male escorting, and the pressures of The Mormon Church. WE ARE ACTIVELY LOOKING FOR SEASON...