The Crate and Crowbar

Autobattlers agogo. Pip and Chris take some time out from their busy wizard management schedule to discuss Valve’s Steam Lab before delivering the definitive verdict on the world’s array of autochesses. The Steam Labs page has all of the info you need about Valve’s disparate attempts to replace me and everyone I know with a [...]

Tom F, Chris and John discuss the cutthroat business of wizard cards, the biting bureaucracy of Pathfinder: Kingmaker, and the travails of high finance in Hitman 2 New York. Here’s a picture of a gem that might belong to a new, free, Slay The Spire character. A lot of people sure have played Dota Underlords, [...]

Chris, Tom F and Alex revisit Life is Strange, consider time’s cooldown in Touhou Luna Nights, chew noisily on Dota Underlords, and fling themselves over Shape of the World. I’ve activated the four rocks… show me the staircase. Tom’s returned to Life is Strange. Here’s the blog post by Ashly Burch that Tom mentions. Note: [...]

Pip, Chris and Tom F dive into a big pile of E3 nonsense followed by a big pile of questions nonsense, considering the noun-circle ramifications of both. We’re DONE, Octavian! You know what you did! Here’s that Watch Dogs: Legion footage from E3. Also, Phil Savage’s review of the pub from Everybody’s Gone To The [...]

Chris, Tom F and Alex attempt to predict Thursday’s news on Wednesday, again, and mostly fail, again. After that: SteamWorld Quest, Void Bastards, The Outer Wilds! Destiny 2 is going free to play, coming to Steam and Stadia, and getting cross-save functionality. Pricing details for Stadia have been revealed and are entirely contrary to Chris’ [...]

Tom F, Alex and Chris convene last Wednesday to discuss ‘computer games’, including but not limited to Void Bastards, Observation, Druidstone, and Mordhau. I feel compelled to perform my military responsibilities in the modern time. Early access sky MMO Worlds Adrift is shutting down. Here’s Starbase, a computer game. Yep, they called it Modern Warfare. [...]

Alex and the Toms gather to discuss what they have been playing on their personal computers this week. We didn’t record in our usual studio for this one, but the audio quality will return to normal soon! Tom F has been playing Path of Exile. Tom S has been playing Destiny 2 too much. Alex has [...]

Tom F, Chris and Alex convene to chat Total War(hammer), Phantom Doctrine, Mordhau, cakes and more. He’s not the Nerevarine, he’s a very naughty boy. Here’s a man saying thank you for the bullets in PlayerUnarmed Happygrounds. Ultra Ultra, the studio who made Echo, are shutting down. Alex is staying up past his bedtime to [...]

Chris, Tom S and Alex chat a little bit of Sekiro, some Ascension, a smooth slice of The Room, and a dash of Katana ZERO. Plus: meditations on the byzantine pizza meta, Rama Tycoon, the completely predictable fate of action dad, and our rebranding as the internet’s premier cutlery conspiracy resource. We say that we’re [...]

Alex, Tom F and Chris discuss City of Heroes’ surprising fate, EA’s Star Wars doings, Beat Saber, Heaven’s Vault, Risk of Rain 2, and the omega egg. Here’s Cass Marshall’s article about City of Heroes’ secret SCORE server. We’ve played a bit of Beat Saber. Here’s the reveal trailer for Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order. [...]

Chris, Tom F and Pip catch up on GDC highlights and discuss Darkborn, Anthem woes, Winkeltje, Sekiro, and Totally Accurate Battle Simulator. Plus: an asparagus crime to save print media, meditations on David Boreanaz The Minecraft Man, Monet’s hot nuts, and the art of Blunch. Columbo’s here, and he’s furious about Unreal Tournament. Here’s Tom’s [...]

Alex, Chris and Tom S discuss a brief spate of late-March game announcements before getting into Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice. That’s it. It’s mostly Sekiro. We’re very keen to avoid Sekiro spoilers in this episode, but we do talk about themes and mechanics and, in one case, a few details about different environments – but [...]

Chris, Pip and Alex celebrate IGF winners and huff deep on Google’s big ol’ cloud. Plus: a little Call of Duty, a little Devil May Cry, assorted nonsense beyond. Don’t die yet, we haven’t finished the pyramid’s ass. Here’s the IGF & GDCA Awards stream in full – the show begins about 25 minutes in, [...]

Tom F, Chris and Alex chat Dwarf Fortress news, franchise developments, a little Far Cry, Hypnospace Outlaw, Devil May Cry 5, and Baba Is You. Plus: getting whacked with the bollard brush, the half time cutlery switch, the sensesno.cool quadrilogy, how snake feel, a magic leap for mankind, and more. Where’s my fucking money, Paddington? [...]

Chris, Alex and both Toms chat Far Cry: New Dawn, DiRT Rally 2.0, Star Trek Online (?) and then just say the word ‘Dune’ over and over for a while. Plus: don’t talk to me until I’ve got my bow, Ubisoft spade tax, Sir Walter Rally, Alex takes Poland, illicit Terran jambalaya, and so on. [...]

Chris, Tom and Alex discuss Darkest Dungeon II and Ace Combat 7 and make a lot of sad and frustrated noises about Anthem. Plus: Edward Lear zooms on a leper, ejecting your upside-down cousin, when wingmates become wingquaintances, and the terble space crab. Here’s the trailer for Darkest Dungeon II. Chris and Tom have played [...]

Alex, Tom S and Chris discuss Blizzard and then say nice things about Apex Legends, Resident Evil 2, and Devil May Cry 5. Plus: The Fraudulent Rustling of the Horse Boy II: Redeem This, the adventures of Gordon Fremen, middleware war among the stars, and our winter survival tips and tricks. Here’s Jason Schreier’s writeup [...]

In this mini-episode, Chris, Alex and Pip discuss Apex Legends and Dota Auto Chess. Sorry for the shorter episodes lately! We’ve been really busy. Patreon backers should note that they’re not being charged at the moment. Thanks for being backers, though! We very much appreciate it. Chris has been playing that Apex Legends. Pip’s been [...]

Chris and Pip chat about Subnautica: Below Zero, Sunless Skies, and Wargroove. Pip’s been playing Subnautica: Below Zero. Benedict Cumberbatch can’t say ‘penguin’. We’ve both been playing Sunless Skies. Chris is enjoying Wargroove, too. You can hang out with us and our community on our Discord channel. If you have a question for a future episode, [...]

Both Toms join Chris to discuss Resident Evil 2, Battlefleet Gothic Armada II, a bit of Forgotton Anne, and more. Plus: further jazz considerations, the torpedo full of man, robot wars meta considerations, puns, wine, and so on. SteamWorld Quest: it’s been announced! Slay The Spire: it’s out now! We should get around to talking [...]

Chris, Tom F, Alex and perhaps others dramatise assorted games industry dramas, discuss the anti-cheat ramifications of Dean Leaner, and explore death in a variety of warzones. Plus: Destiny 2 in 2019, Fortune-299, Slay The Spire modding, our community GOTY vote and more! In the event that our summation of the Improbable/Unity business didn’t make [...]

The whole gang convenes (sort of) to look back at our games of 2018 while navigating some sort of terrible segue purgatory. As discussed in this episode, the Crate & Crowbar Discord community is currently conducting its own GOTY vote! You can find out more – and cast your votes – right here. Games discussed: [...]

Tom F, Alex and John return to the velvet plinth to discuss the Games Awards announcements, ReCore, Dusk, and Hades. Far Cry: New Dawn has flowers. The Last Campfire is by two folks at Hello Games. Xbox One flagship game ReCore is on PC now and very 7/10. Dusk is a 97/100 game according to Steam [...]

Chris, Tom, Alex and Tom discuss the Epic Games Store, more Artifact, Mutant Year Zero, Just Cause 4, and so on. Here’s the rundown on the Epic Games Store. Everybody has been playing Artifact, but you are not allowed to touch the little imp bottoms, and this is garbage. Tom F is still playing alternative [...]

Tom F and Alex gather around a velvet plinth, sip beer, and discuss vikings and hitmen. Featured: Skin Deep: Brendon Chung’s Die Hard in space. Bad North: defend tiny islands from vikings. Hitman 2 (2018): Tom’s liking it more now, play his Contract. Race for the Galaxy: an empire building card game where the strategies [...]