The Covert Narcissism Podcast

To donate to the Covert Narcissism Podcast and receive your free copy of chapter one of my upcoming book, potentially titled: Grasping Covert Narcissism, Catching A Ghost, click the link below.  https://patron.podbean.com/covertnarcissismpodcast      To sign up for the our new Men's Group Session, click the link below. https://www.covertnarcissism.com/group-session   We’re off to see the wizard, t...

To donate to the Covert Narcissism Podcast and receive your free copy of chapter one of my upcoming book, potentially titled: Grasping Covert Narcissism, Catching A Ghost, click the link below.  https://patron.podbean.com/covertnarcissismpodcast      COVID had an enormous impact on marriages. Trapping everyone in their homes and taking away other social avenues not only brought out more abuse, but...

To donate to the Covert Narcissism Podcast and receive your free copy of chapter one of my upcoming book, potentially titled: Grasping Covert Narcissism, Catching A Ghost, click the link below.  https://patron.podbean.com/covertnarcissismpodcast      I came home one night to a completely dark house to find my 37 year old husband sitting in a dark room crying, I thought, Oh my gosh, did someone die...

To donate to the Covert Narcissism Podcast and receive your free copy of chapter one of my upcoming book, potentially titled: Grasping Covert Narcissism, Catching A Ghost, click the link below.  https://patron.podbean.com/covertnarcissismpodcast      Covert narcissism is not a gender issue. This is absolutely affecting both men and women. I talk from my perspective because that is what I lived, bu...

To donate to the Covert Narcissism Podcast and receive your free copy of chapter one of my upcoming book, potentially titled: Grasping Covert Narcissism, Catching A Ghost, click the link below.  https://patron.podbean.com/covertnarcissismpodcast      When you are coming to grips with the thought that you are in a long-term marriage with a covert narcissist, you will go through the stages of grief....

To donate to the Covert Narcissism Podcast and receive your free copy of chapter one of my upcoming book, potentially titled: Grasping Covert Narcissism, Catching A Ghost, click the link below.  https://patron.podbean.com/covertnarcissismpodcast      A relationship with a covert narcissist is like getting a thousand bee stings. Any individual event can seem so small and insignificant, like a singl...

To donate to the Covert Narcissism Podcast and receive your free copy of chapter one of my upcoming book, potentially titled: Grasping Covert Narcissism, Catching A Ghost, click the link below.  https://patron.podbean.com/covertnarcissismpodcast      Covert narcissists go 0-100 over things that just simply do not justify all the anger. Whether the anger shows aggressively or passively, it is still...

To donate to the Covert Narcissism Podcast and receive your free copy of Chapter 1 of my upcoming book potentially titled: Grasping Covert Narcissism, Catching a Ghost, click the link below. https://patron.podbean.com/covertnarcissismpodcast   The extreme passive aggressiveness of their constant nitpicking is debilitating. You can’t ever be right, about anything. They constantly correct you. You s...

To donate to the Covert Narcissism Podcast and receive your free copy of chapter one of my upcoming book, potentially titled: Grasping Covert Narcissism, Catching A Ghost, click the link below.  https://patron.podbean.com/covertnarcissismpodcast      If you have ever lived with a covert narcissist, you know that they are the expert on everything. In their own eyes. They know everything. They say e...

On today’s show, I have a guest who has been in a long-term marriage with a covert narcissistic husband, over three decades long. She joined CNG group coaching to try to find some answers. As she listened to the stories of the other group members, she found herself thinking that the people she met there deserved better. "That person deserves better than that," while listening to one stor...

Life with a covert narcissist - those words really hold so much meaning in them, anyone who has lived this knows what I am saying with those simple words. As I have explained many times in these episodes, is not the normal path of give and take, mutual reconciliation, mutual respect and courtesy. It is a very one-sided relationship. One with you doing all the work, doing the work for two individua...

Help! Everyone around me is a narcissist! They are everywhere!! Once you start identifying the elements of narcissism that have infiltrated your personal life, it can certainly seem like narcissism is everywhere you look now. My mom, my dad, my brother, my sister, my friend, my coworker, my boss, my neighbor, the stranger in the store, the clerk at the gas station, the lawyer in the news. It’s eve...

Covert narcissism is narcissism from a unique angle. The internal characteristics are the same as an overt narcissist, but it plays out differently. Narcissism is not defined in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) as the loud and boisterous life of the party. It does not list traits of hitting, cheating, and yelling.  Rather, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is d...

Someone recently commented on my Tiktok video, saying that they have been confident that they are married to a CN, but now are struggling bad wondering it they are the narcissist.  I totally understand this! It is actually extremely common that it’s mind-blowing! I want to help you understand why this happens and to describe the different types of narcissistic behavior. Everyone has moments of dis...

There is a YOU in there that has been buried under this thing called narcissism, and especially covert narcissism. And it is truly like being buried! Buried under the weight of this relationship you are in or have been in. Buried under their judgment, sensitivity, blame, superiority, entitlement, harshness. Buried under your own over-thinking, over-analyzing, walking on eggshells, playing through...

Spending any holiday time, vacation time, family time, or even date time with a covert narcissist is an awful lot like pulling a Chance card in Monopoly. If you are an avid player of the game or even a casual player, then you know that feeling of landing on Chance and having no idea if this is a good thing or not. Will it be a reward of something great or a punishment for an imaginary crime? Eithe...

It is so very easy to be consumed by the gloom and doom of life with a covert narcissist. It feels dark, overwhelming and hopeless, and it is. However, there absolutely IS life outside of narcissism! Someone recently reached out to me expressing the need for more episodes with words of encouragement and hope. And what a great time of the year to do so!! So I thank that individual for reaching out...

Is It Okay To Care About Them and Still Walk Away? ABSOLUTELY YES!!! I hear so many people questioning themselves about walking away from abusive relationships.  I really care about him/her. I really do love them. Shouldn’t I stick it out? Don’t all relationships have issues? I know they are hurting and need to be loved. I know this will hurt them even more, how can I do that to them? Does the fol...

I said to a friend once, “I am afraid to leave my boys at home alone with their father.” She said, “That is quite alarming and not okay. Why do you say that?’” I realized right then how incredibly difficult this is to explain. I was not afraid for their physical safety. He wasn’t going to hit them. He wasn’t going to throw things and scare them.  Most of the time, he wasn’t even going to yell at t...

You don’t see it until you see it. You can’t unsee once you see it. One day, all of a sudden, I just saw it. My thoughts were, "hey this is a problem." "Something just isn’t right here."   Before this, I made excuses. I justified everything. He’s not feeling well today. He had a rough childhood. He is stressed at work. He didn’t have siblings. The kids were being loud and frustrating. Our son coul...

I know this nightmare that you are living. I lived it too. I know the daily pain of trying to matter, trying to be good enough, trying to somehow, magically, find peace in your world. A peace that just doesn’t exist. In this intense nightmare, that beautiful heart of yours separates from your head. It simply cannot take the pain anymore. It is an experience of complete disconnection. Logically, yo...

Does a narcissist ever change? Can they ever get better? Is there any hope? He/She says that they are working on it, that they are getting help. They even go to therapy. How much time should I give them? How will I know if it is for real? I get asked this all the time. I have talked with so many who are completely stuck because of these very questions. They say things like - I think he/she is gett...

How many holidays have you had ruined by a covert narcissist? How many Thanksgivings? How many Christmases or Hanukkah's? How about New Year's? Holidays are a wonderful time for narcissists to display their horrible behavior. They are often on full steam at such a time that your thoughts are on peacefulness, happiness, family time, making memories with your kids. They choose the absolute worst tim...

Did you feel like you had the perfect soulmate for you? I remember saying, You’re like the male version of me, and I’m the female version of you. We just had so much in common and connected on so many levels. Mirroring is a manipulative tactic used by covert narcissists to charm you and catch you as their prey. However, mirroring plays out in several ways in these toxic relationships. Understandin...

Have you ever been accused of being too sensitive? Being too emotional? Have you ever told yourself that you should be stronger, less emotional? I want to challenge these questions and judgements. This episode is inspired by the book titled The Highly Sensitive Person’s Guide to Dealing with Toxic People by Shahida Arabi. The subtitle of the book is How to Reclaim Your Power from Narcissists and O...