The Consigliera Papers Podcast

Most of us are willing to get uncomfortable in pursuit of things that are important to us, whether it’s looking for a romantic partner, asking for a promotion, telling a story at a Moth StorySLAM or learning how to paddleboard. Most of us also know the difference between physical pain that signifies injury or risk of injury and the discomfort of using muscles in a more vigorous way. We can categor...

We all carry a mental image of our bodies. It’s called proprioception. It lets you know where you are in space. When you have chronic pain, it can mess with your proprioception. Essentially, your body’s map of itself in space gets it wrong. This is how “phantom limb” pain happens, pain that a person senses in a limb that has been amputated. This is called “neural smudging.” When I got my head arou...

On writing through the messy middle Get full access to Fierce Grace at speirolo.substack.com/subscribe

Don't Touch We are socialized early to take what men dish out. When the older man put his hands on her, she was talking to the cashier in that animated way of young people sharing some information – I think it was about a band. She wrote down a name on a white napkin for the cashier. She looked happy. Then he was there, the dirty uncle, slipping his hand around her waist. It was unexpected, and so...

Women share a joke that when they get a cold they power through it – especially women with young children – and that when men get a cold they languish on the couch, doing nothing. The memes and social media posts hint at the rigors of childbirth, the pain many experience around menstruation, and the fact that men can’t handle physical discomfort. The Man Cold. Lying about, sleeping in, eschewing c...

“It used to be fashionable to talk about a workplace as a family, which wasn’t helpful, because then people expected it to be like their family, which might be a good thing or a bad thing. The current fashion in workplace narratives is that we are building workplaces where people can show up authentically as their real selves and there is psychological safety. Really? It sounds great. It’s a good...

We spend so much time thinking about how to improve our careers, our financial security, our physical health and wellness. What if we treated our human need to be in community and connection with others with the same level of intention and importance? Get full access to Fierce Grace at speirolo.substack.com/subscribe

I’m reading a book called “The Myth of Normal” by Gabor and David Maté. They tell a story about a woman who is an OBGYN who herself suffers from a host of illnesses and ailments brought about by the stress of her job. In addition to crazy hours and intense emotional pressure, she recounts being sexually harassed throughout medical school. Oh, right, I thought, being sexually harassed for years and...

Why are we working this hard? Get full access to Fierce Grace at speirolo.substack.com/subscribe

We live in a very talkative age. People talking on screens, in person, on Zoom. Social media videos of people talking while walking, talking while putting on or taking off makeup, people on stages talking. Which makes silence the ultimate power move. Get full access to Fierce Grace at speirolo.substack.com/subscribe

Get full access to Fierce Grace at speirolo.substack.com/subscribe

I heard once that Picasso had to learn how to draw a horse before he painted like Picasso. There are skills and craft that are important, whether you are writing, making a film, researching a scientific breakthrough, or leading a company. But if you’re working like everyone else, if your goal is conformity to an ideal built by someone else, you’re stopping at the horse. Get full access to Fierce G...

If you find yourself in a situation where your business or career is struggling, be mindful about the stories you tell yourself. Is this about you and your skills as a leader, or is this a by-product of a larger societal, cultural, or economic issue? Racism, sexism, all the “isms” impact careers long term and short term. Could that be at play for you? Are you struggling with a culture, product or...

Finding your why Get full access to Fierce Grace at speirolo.substack.com/subscribe

‘Why doesn’t she just leave?’ is the subtext for so many conversations about women in the work world. Whether it is a woman being abused or assaulted at work, not being paid equitably, being subject to racism, sexism, ageism or just exhausted the question seems to lurk – why doesn’t she just leave? She doesn’t leave because her job is the only way she can have affordable health insurance for her a...

Accepting influence is another concept from the Gottmans. Drs Julie and John Gottman study marriage and relationships. Their research has shown that men who accept influence from their wives and share decision making have happier longer lasting marriages. And yes, they are studying heterosexual couples, and yes this is something men need to do better. It is gendered. All leaders should accept infl...

Don’t do something for someone you work with if they can do it themselves. Listen to discover wow and why we "overfunction" and the impact that can have on a team. Get full access to Fierce Grace at speirolo.substack.com/subscribe

I live in the world of business. And I don’t see women in their sixties. Most of my career happened in the thin air of advertising and technology, and my female peers have dropped off along the way. They retire, or work on boards, or do what I’ve done, work part time consulting. I am always, without exception, the oldest woman in any room at work, and I just turned 60 in August. Get full access to...

If I schedule a meeting for 7am and I’m in Seattle and you’re in New York, and we both show up at 7am we’re not going to be in the right place at the right time. We all know how to adjust for different time zones – we ask. Are you Pacific or Mountain Time? Are you in London or Mumbai? Most calendar programs do this adjustment automatically. And yet we don’t do this when we are working on a project...

How to get curious about the gap between what you believe and what your employees know. Which is something Howard Schultz could be doing in his battle with Starbucks employees who want to unionize. Get curious. Don't be like Howard. Get full access to Fierce Grace at speirolo.substack.com/subscribe

A strengths based approach to annual planning Planning and goal setting clarifies goals and investments towards those goals. Because if you haven’t invested time, resources or money in a goal it’s not really a goal, it’s a wish. And in the corporate roads I travel, wishes rarely come true. Get full access to Fierce Grace at speirolo.substack.com/subscribe

Get full access to Fierce Grace at speirolo.substack.com/subscribe

Get full access to Fierce Grace at speirolo.substack.com/subscribe

Get full access to Fierce Grace at speirolo.substack.com/subscribe

Get full access to Fierce Grace at speirolo.substack.com/subscribe