The CMS Network’s Substack Podcast

Is the new Anaconda movie a high-stakes thriller or just another piece of low-budget streaming fodder? Most people saw the trailer and immediately wrote it off as a joke, but is there a layer of self-aware humor that everyone is missing? Chris Akin breaks down why this "reboot" isn't what it seems and why the measly $9,000 budget might be the best thing about it. You’ll have to hear his final rati...

“He took his belt off and started whipping him like a slave!” [Sponsor: Blackout Coffee - https://www.blackoutcoffee.com?p=BoNofhazE → Code CHRIA20 for 20% off] Bro, the world has officially gone off the rails! First, we’re talking about Belgian kids smuggling 5,000 ants out of Kenya because people apparently want to EAT them? Then, we head to Pittsburgh where a PNC Park vendor literally took off...

If the world as you knew it ended at 7:20 PM on a Tuesday, would you have the grit to laugh about it four years later? Chris Akin and Seth Williams aren’t interested in your “thoughts and prayers”—they’re interested in how you survive the 22 surgeries, the necrotic smells, and the people who walk right over you when your leg falls off in the middle of a gym. This isn’t a pity party; it’s a masterc...

Think you know what “Real Metal” sounded like in 2025? While the mainstream media was busy worshipping the same three legacy bands, a massive shift was happening underground that most fans completely missed. Why has Chris Akin officially turned his back on the “Hair Metal” classics that built the industry? And which “forgotten” thrash legends are currently embarrassing the Big Four in terms of pur...

“Nobody is enjoying going to your screen and working their way between Star Wars crap and, um, whatever is on there—DC or Marvel...” [Sponsor: Metallica - The Broadcast Collection 1988-1994 - https://amzn.to/4phEFBg ] Disney has a “convoluted problem”. They bought Hulu, assumed they could just “suck it in” , and instead, they’ve created a tech nightmare that’s confusing even for the “techies”. If...

[Sponsor: Blackout Coffee - https://www.blackoutcoffee.com?p=BoNofhazE → Code CHRIA20 for 20% off] Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals! Chris Akin is back and someone just got the boot right before Santa arrived. Nazareth officially kicked Carl Sentance to the curb, and Chris is losing his mind over the “cold, ugly cut.” No “future endeavors,” no “we wish him well,” just GTFO. Plus, Chris asks the...

Chris and Neeley are reminiscing about the early days of The Classic Metal Show, and Chris drops a story that will make you spit out your beer. You wouldn’t believe the lengths we went to for content back then... including calling a rock star after he was dead and getting his voicemail. What the hell were we thinking?! Bro, the sheer disrespect... but we can’t stop laughing 🤘😂. This show is powe...

BRO, rage fueled by the best! This episode is brought to you by Blackout Coffee - https://www.blackoutcoffee.com?p=BoNofhazE → Code CHRIA20 for 20% off. Drink coffee strong enough to survive a Chris Rant! 🤘 WHAT. THE. HELL. Gene Simmons had a massive faux pas calling Ace Frehley “dead” due to “bad decisions.” Neeley and Chris are tearing into The Demon, surprisingly agreeing with some of Eddie Tr...

🚨 NEELEY RAGES: IT’S HIS FAULT SHE GOT FIRED! 🚨 A drunken female police officer groped two colleagues, and Neeley is losing his mind not because she got fired, but because the male officer reported her! Bro, she wanted to get FUCKED. Take advantage, don’t report her, you dummy! The chaos is proudly powered by Rush - 50 BOX SET - https://amzn.to/44XV0DS . Want tomorrow’s episode TODAY + VIP exclu...

“By 2026, the local news anchor you’ve watched for twenty years is going behind a fucking paywall or they’re going extinct. Free TV is a corpse, and the streamers are just waiting for the smell to get bad enough to bury it.” [Sponsor: Black Sabbath - SABOTAGE COLLECTOR’S EDITION BOX SET - https://amzn.to/45gHgDc ] Bro, are you ready to get shaken down by every network on the planet? Chris Akin jus...

This being the second of them and this was the I don’t know if you can call it the bigger one because it was a collaboration, but it is absolutely one of the shittiest pieces of shit that ever shit out of shit, ate the shit, then shit it out again and made a bigger piece of shit.” Bro, this Lulu rant had us DYING, what the actual F were Metallica thinking?! Holy shit, metalheads – Jon & Brian from...

Plastic Catastrophe With Lord Nelson just dropped the grooviest, head-nodding, “IF U WANNA PARTY” single and these two go FULL chaos talking music biz, direct-to-fan, and why nobody’s buying albums anymore… until this absolute nuke drops. SPONSOR: Blackout Coffee – Strongest shit on the planet. Code CHRIA20 = 20% off → https://www.blackoutcoffee.com?p=BoNofhazE Want tomorrow’s episode TODAY + VIP...

Seth and Chris kick off a manic Monday talking about long weekends and shocking Browns game decisions. Then, they bring on Jake Underwood, the new host of the Jake Underwood Show on WHK 1420, who hired Seth as his producer, to talk about his political background, his vision for the show’s local politics focus, and his time with the Kennedy campaign. Long-time friend and “roving restaurant reporter...

Join Bill as he takes an absolutely mind-stretching journey with the incredible Dr. Yafi Yair, exploring how the recent lockdowns unleashed a powerful global energetic shift toward multidimensional travel and extraterrestrial awakening . This episode dives deep into light language activations , field tuning , and healing veteran trauma by connecting with your higher self and channeling unheard-of...

“It’s a beautiful thing to know that you’re so good, they can’t stop you! You can do whatever you want! They’ll still buy your music!” 🤯 Wait till you hear WHY the Big Guy with the Big Show, LORD NELSON, said that about the absolute legend, Slick Rick James... you’ll spit your coffee, bro. ☕️ Today on the C.A.R., we’re cruising straight into the greatest hits of the incomparable, unstoppable, Su...

Former parachute rigger Christopher Morgan sits down for a raw, inspiring conversation about his turbulent upbringing, his time in the military, and the shocking mistakes that led to a General Under Honorable discharge. This mental health specialist got brutally honest about battling the demons of LSD misuse , violent tendencies , and suicidal ideation after leaving the Army, eventually turning hi...

In this groundbreaking conversation, Ed Daniel “The Architect,” the mastermind behind the new collaborative album COLLABORATIONS , educates us on his intentional creativity, how he unites diverse talent, and the process of building tracks from the ground up. We’re talking about a musical masterpiece designed to be a “calculated, intentional slap in the face” to how albums are supposed to be made....

In this episode of The Trenton Effect, Trenton opens up about one of the most painful moments of his life — a moment heavy with regret, confusion, and heartbreak… but also the spark that ignited everything he’s building today. He reflects on how that dark season from his past became the inspiration of his upcoming Breaking the Chains: The Journey album and tour. What began as personal pain evolved...

In this episode of The Trenton Effect , Trenton opens up about one of the most painful moments of his life — a moment heavy with regret, confusion, and heartbreak… but also the spark that ignited everything he’s building today. He reflects on how that dark season from his past became the inspiration of his upcoming Breaking the Chains: The Journey album and tour. What began as personal pain evolve...

Does the music world still have room for real emotion? The Lord talks with New Haven original Sal “Nunz” about putting your whole heart and soul into every note. Get commercial-free versions of our episodes, early releases, and exclusive content by subscribing to our premium platforms, including our Substack: Find us on Rumble: https://rumble.com/premium and Locals: https://classicmetalshow.locals...

This younger generation is totally screwed, and one of the hosts is thankful they’ll be dead before things get worse! Wait till you hear WHY they think the USA is weak enough for a country like China to just walk in, kill everyone, and take over. The Seth Williams Show is on a Wednesday rant, kicking off with the horror story of putting on a prosthetic leg in the middle of the night. Then they jum...

“Well, I wanted like a hot rock and roll name like The Radiators, but I’m like, well, you know, we all smoke a lot of weed, so let’s go with The Roasters thing.” Wait till you hear why they said it... bro, it’s the real reason the band got its name, and it’s pure fire. 🔥 ⏰ TIMESTAMPS: * 00:00 – Jimmy from Alcatraz Intro * 02:46 – Welcoming Jeff Summa and the Roasters * 04:14 – Life in Litchfield...

On this edition of The Trenton Effect, Trenton pulls back the curtain and takes you straight into The Shockwave — the official community of The Trenton Effect. This episode features a series of raw, unfiltered video moments straight from Trenton’s world — what he’s thinking, what he’s building, and what’s stirring his spirit. The Shockwave isn’t just a fan group — it’s a movement. A community buil...

Are the best modern albums really made by a “true master” of sound? You bet they are! The Lord is back on LIVE AND LOUD WITH THE LORD, and this time he’s talking shop with the incredibly talented, award-winning producer, engineer, and songwriter Matt Miller . This episode is packed with killer insights, real-talk, and some serious laughs about the art of making music. If you want the stories behin...

Can a band known for killer metal riffs deliver a holiday album that actually hits ? Michael Sweet from Stryper is here to tell us all about their new release, The Greatest Gift of All , and why it’s a game-changer for them. We cover the inspiration, the message, and what’s coming next for Stryper after 40 years of powerful music. Don’t miss this one, whether you’re a yellow-and-black attack veter...