The Clopen Effect

Mature audiences only, please!  🎃 Meredith and Cassandra dive into 20 of the rarest medical conditions people can suffer from — it’s a tough one, but perfect for Spooky Season! We also chat about Meredith’s “diet,” the manager with an attitude, the chores we  let  our husbands handle, and—drumroll please—we’re celebrating being listened to in all 50 states! Huge thank you to Nina f...

Cassandra, Bestie, and Meredith chat about one of the eeriest topics yet - the worst ways to die in retail. For mature audiences only, please! It’s spooky season, and while this episode sounds dark, it’s handled with care, respect, and just enough Halloween edge to give you chills (without crossing the line). From freezers to forklifts, compactors to parking lots, we explore the strange, tragic, a...

Here's the rundown of this week's show: Home Invasions / Residential Burglaries Thieves go for  small, high-value, easy-to-carry  stuff. Top items: Cash Laptops, tablets, phones Jewelry and watches Prescription meds Firearms They want things they can grab fast and resell easily. Average loss? A few  thousand dollars per break-in. Store Robberies / Retail Theft The “greatest hits” li...

Hey friends! Before we share this week's episode, a quick note: Every week, The Clopen Effect is full of jokes, absurd retail stories, and general chaos. You know, our usual nonsense. Today, since it’s spooky season, we’re taking a small detour. We’re covering two very serious events: the disappearances of Adam Walsh from a Sears in 1981 and Ann Gotlib from Bashford Manor Mall in 1983. Not all the...

We had a great time with the Rockstar of Retail - our friend Tim! We were listening to the Cubbies win, so the recording fades in and out a bit, but oh well (they won!). In this episode, we chat about Tim’s bands and run through the top scary movie quotes. Stick around until the end to hear a song titled  Deviant ! All The Clopen Links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect $2/month keeps us reco...

We kick things off with a hilarious story from our co-worker who carried  100 balloons for 1.5 miles  from the store to an office party (yes, people stared). Then it’s all about GERMS  — the gross, sneaky, everyday kind that hide where you least expect them. Fun, funny, and a little bit ewww - this episode has it all! All The Clopen Links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect $2/month...

From hot dogs at Coney Island to lamingtons in Australia, competitive eating contests are one of the strangest - and most fascinating - traditions around the world. Today, we’re talking about the  wild history , the  training secrets , and even the  dangers  of this stomach-stretching sport. All The Clopen Links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect $2/month keeps us recording and...

Wowee, we do love to laugh at ourselves! This episode is no different! We talk about road trips and rest stops, snacks and car ride games. Thanks for being here! We are really having a great time with all of you! All The Clopen Links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect $2/month keeps us recording and bringing you all the laughs! https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/support Buy Our Cool Merch: htt...

This week, we talk about classic wives' tales, we read some great ones from our listeners, and get a little depressed about zoos. Oops. Anyway - enjoy this week's episode! All The Clopen Links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect $2/month keeps us recording and bringing you all the laughs! https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/support Buy Our Cool Merch: https://www.zazzle.com/the_clopen_effect_t_s...

Food festivals are so fun! We love them and talk about the most popular, iconic, largest, quirkiest, weirdest, and longest-running. We talk about our local ribfest and the Bristol Renaissance Faire (Kenosha, WI). All The Clopen Links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect $2/month keeps us recording and bringing you all the laughs! https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/support Buy Our Cool Merch: htt...

ROY G. BIV Colors don’t just  look  good in a store, they actually  do  something to our bodies. When our eyes see a color, the signal travels to our brain, and that can change how we feel, even how fast our heart beats. Red  makes your heart beat faster. That’s why stores use it for clearance tags and sales—it screams  buy me now! Yellow  is like sunshine. It ma...

In this episode, we chat  the world of bread and the math behind it (sort of), with our special guest,  Jason ! Jason 'drives' us through his  bread delivery route , explaining how the numbers, store stops, and fresh bread logistics all come together. Meredith tries her best to follow along, but admits… she  still doesn’t really understand how it works . (Bread routes are ...

Guests: Mama Brianna & Baby Daisy  🌼 This week, we welcome the sweetest guests, Mama Brianna and her 9-month-old daughter, Daisy! We explore the  origin of the name Daisy , its meaning (“day’s eye”), and why it's the perfect fit for such a bright little soul. We also give a shoutout to  Dented Gate Flower Garden  in  Woodstock, IL, a local gem filled with natural char...

We ket AI write this recap, Lol: In this laugh-out-loud episode of  The Clopen Effect: A Funny Retail Podcast , Cass shares a wild story about a customer who stood directly in her way — and refused to budge. We break down the awkwardness, the tension, and the hilarity that happens when retail workers are just trying to do their job… and shoppers are just trying to pretend they don’t see you....

She’s back! In Part 3 of our Secret Squirrel series, our favorite AP expert returns to talk about the people who take a chance at stealing and how often they get caught. We explore the quick decisions, bold moves, and bizarre attempts that happen every day in retail. We also play the '"Have You Ever?" game for some fast and fun AP confessions. Be sure to stick around until the end when Secret Squi...

Cancer is not funny. Let’s be clear about that. But sometimes the situations we find ourselves in as retail workers leave us so stunned, all we can do is laugh or cry. In this episode, Cassandra shares one of those moments. A customer casually dropped a very personal and medically graphic detail mid-conversation, leaving her wondering, “What do I even say to that?” We unpack why this happens, why...

Cassandra survives a sizzling Vegas heatwave and finally sees her first Elvis impersonator. Meanwhile, Meredith has a moment: she thought she saw a woman with no arms… but it was just a cold-shoulder shirt. Laugh with us this week! It's a good one! All The Clopen Links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect $2/month keeps us recording and bringing you all the laughs! https://the-clopen-effect.captivat...

We chat about how much time we actually spend in our cars, from sitting at red lights and waiting to turn left, to crawling through construction traffic and waiting in drive-thru lines. We also talk about how those minutes add up to days each year. We discuss coffee creamers and how we plan to make millions real soon. $2/month keeps us recording and bringing you all the laughs! PLUS, you receive e...

One of us now knows the danger of Dry Ice in a closed vehicle. Dry ice is  solid carbon dioxide (CO₂) . When it “melts,” it doesn’t become a liquid; it  sublimates  directly into a gas. That means it turns into carbon dioxide gas, which displaces oxygen in the air. All The Clopen Links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect $2/month keeps us recording and bringing you all the laughs! ht...

What the heck is a WigglyBush!? We dug into America’s $176B landscaping obsession, wild HOA rules (no red mulch?!), and Cass’s yard glow-up thanks to Johnny. From mulch math to HOA drama, we laughed, learned, and maybe judged a lawn or two. Cass even aced the landscaping quiz, and Meredith learned about helicopter seeds. 🌱🎙️ All The Clopen Links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect $2/month keeps u...

Can Cassandra guess all the grocery words before time runs out? PLUS, we dish on Costco culture and share some real talk about surgery recovery (yes, even the parts no one warns you about). All The Clopen Links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect $2/month keeps us recording and bringing you all the laughs! https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/support 👕  Buy Our Cool Merch: https://www.zazzl...

Happy 200th Episode to The Clopen Effect! Let's talk about mattresses. Helpful Links: All The Clopen Links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect Support the Show & Keep Us Recording: https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/support Buy Our Cool Merch: https://www.zazzle.com/the_clopen_effect_t_shirt-256038010043042814 💩  Check Out Our Other Podcast – Anxiety Makes Me Poop: Available wherever...

In this episode, Meredith and Julia talk pizza, pasta, and the Pope while traveling in Italy. Cassandra brings the sunny (and sometimes chaotic) energy of Florida. No deep dives here, just funny moments, quirky details, and the little differences we noticed between these two worlds. It’s all about enjoying the stories, sharing some smiles, and maybe leaving you craving a slice of pizza or a beach...

Kristen, owner of Aeon Gallery in Richmond, IL. joined us for laughs and a sneak peek into her Absinthe Lounge’s incredible upcoming vendor event, Spring Awakening, on April 27th! We chatted about her haunted photo book and the mysterious forces that knocked Moscow Mule mugs off the hooks. Good vibes, great art, and maybe a ghost or two - just how we like it. (Well, Cass is really only a fan of&nb...

Many choose Retail as a fast-paced, people-driven career for the energy, flexibility, and growth opportunities (sort of). It’s not always easy, but it builds strong skills, opens doors, and can even lead to big money at the top . We’ve also got some hilarious retail-themed movie quotes and titles to share because if you’ve worked retail, you know it’s basically a comedy show! 🟢  30 Days to B...