The Brothers Deeney

Welcome to the taste of India... and Bangladesh... and Pakistan... and Nepal... Sri Lanka... look loads of places make the divine food known as curry.  The Brothers Deeney love them. Every Friday. Manzil. Bottle of Cobra. Garlic naan. Good lord! Tikka masala, korma, bhuna, rogan josh, karahi, pasanda, jalfrezi, biryani... My saliva glands are dancing. Support the show

What's that in the water? That thing going up and down and up and down? It's... is that a monster? No, it's the Book of Nowt podcast putting paid to the nonsense that is the Nessie industry. Cute as it is, some poeple take tales of a prehistoric monster secretly populating an Inverness lake very, very seriously.  We can be as cynical as we like, but it did set the scene for the 80s&...

Covers used to be the cornerstone of a band's repertoir, now they're seen as a little bit lazy... unless you're sampling. In which case you can steal what you like.  In this episode, the lads go to town on the best covers in history. Is it Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley? Tainted Love by Soft Cell? Words by Boyzone? It's none of these.  We also address some of the biggest crimes aga...

Shut those curtains and shut up because we had a little drink about an hour ago and it's gone right to our heads.  Hangovers, eh? Karma? Nature's lesson? A body reacting to being poisoned? Who could possibly know? All we do know is that hangovers are brutal and only get worse with age.  There's no known cure, they dominate a weekend, they're horrible... so why do we do it to ou...

Charlie how your angels get down like that, indeed!  It's time for our two young heroes to give their two cents on the most famous person on planet earth. Everything she does causes tsunamis across the globe, but nothing so seismic as being on a Book of Nowt podcast.  To put your minds at rest, we both think she's right good.  Support the show

Welcome to the Jungle! We've got fun and games. And that fun is our wicked podcast.  Hack through the dense undergrowth of podcast nonsense to find this jungle oasis of The Book of Nowt.  The jungle is disappearing all around us, so listen to this testament to it before it's gone forever.  Support the show

Don't. Look. Down.  Because then you'll struggle  to correctly download our wicked episode on Alton Towers, the UK's favourite place in Staffordhire.  Conal kicks us off with a grim story about his dog's health and Joe tells us how he owns a Kestrel.  It's like queuing for an hour and then getting the really brief ride of Sazzie's quiz at the end.  Support the show

Yeehaw! It's time for bullets, beans, and buckaroo with the Book of Nowt's devasting insight into cowboys. The talisman of the American spirit, or romanticised nonsense... or both? We don't come to any kind of consensus on this, so don't get your hopes up. Expect more of the same brilliant features like 2 Good 2 Bad, Conopsis, and out quiz featuring Sazzie Kluvitse! Whatever yo...

What's the deal with amateur podcasts? Do they actually earn money from all this? Not really, Jerry. Not really.  Ba donk ah doooooooong.... This episode comes at you bursting through the front door without knocking. That's right, we're talking Seinfeld: the show about nothing, about everything.  The Brothers Deeney aren't at their funniest here because they spend the hour quot...

Wrap your coils around this!  The Brothers Deeney are confonting their fears and hypnotising you all with chat regarding a creature so maligned even god hates them.  Be it venom, constriction, or persuading people to eat apples, snakes have a pretty rotten reputation. We try to see past all this... difficult when Joe has a genuine phobia. Slither into our DMs for more. Support the show

God Save Our Book of Nowt!!! Please stand for the return of the best podcast in town. That's right, Joe and Conal are back for another hour of daftness, hilarity, and "insight". Today, the brothers Deeney join the ongoing culture war with a stunning broadside on the really short songs people sing before a football match starts.  We discuss the best ones: France, USA, and Bhutan And...

The podcast you've all been waiting for, it's our take on our home town.  The story of Bradford is rich and poor. It's had the best of times and the worst of times. But where are we now?  Conal still lives there, Joe doesn't, but both have plenty of stories from Bradford past and present.  Support the show

In space, no one can hear you podcast. Unless they downloaded it on their phones and just play it on their air pods or something.  This episode's a good one, so listen to it. We talk everything to do with the Queen of Sci Fi and all round good egg Sigourney Weaver. She's been in great films, good films, reasonable films, and Avatar.  Conal also talks about games he plays on the toilet, a...

Forget everything you ever learnt at school! Seriously, you need to ignore all that because it's apparently a government conspiracy devised for reasons we're not so sure about.  Flat Earthism is a movement growing at an alarming rate all AROUND the globe. Is their argument strong enough to convince Joe & Conal?  SPOILER ALERT: No. It is not.  This one's a little more serious tha...

Tell you what we want, what we really really want... We want you to listen to a really lovely podcast.  This time we turn our hand to the biggest pop sensation of the 90s, the Spice Girls. Their fame was fleeting but by crikey was it bright.  Do they viva forever? Or do they need to stop right now? Who do we think they are?  Listen for free to find out... and give us five stars. If you wanna be ou...

We're sorry, but your podcast is in another castle.  Bit of a blast from the past here as the Brothers Deeney give their pennoth on everything video games with their favourite company of them all.  They get a bit misty eyed talking about Zelda, Goldeneye 007, and their forays into masturbation.  Join the lads for a couple of bouts of Street Fighter and stay for a couple of fatalities in Morta...

South Americaaaaaaa! Thanks Mick Jagger. In this episode our podcast follows the Inca trail around all of South America. Loads of languages (but mainly two), dance, culture, life, colour, religion, footballing genius, and much, much more.  But enough about Joe and Conal, South America's good too. Support the show

Do not pass go Do not collect £200 Monopoly is, famously, really really boring. So the brothers Deeney thought they'd record themselves playing game of it for your listening pleasure.  Obviously it's heavily edited, otherwise it would be unbroadcastable.  Joe also has a weird fascination with the Singing Nun. That's right, we're getting weirder and weirder. Patreon's nice,...

Awite mi ow Choina! Have we got a treat for you!  East London's favourite son and landlord of the Queen Vic, it's Daniel Dyer!  This is a bit of a weird one as Conal looks a bit like him. We should do a podcast about Jason Statham or something to even it out. Yeah, Joe is writing this.  Share with everyone you know and, if you want to help more, Patreon is excellent patreon.com/bookofnow...

Here it is.  Our insight into the worst... THE WORST Christmas film going.  If you like Love Actually, we're sorry for your life decisions.  2 hours 5 minutes of utter, utter SHITE. The only thing we like about this film is a hat that Keira Knightley wears. It's nice. Denim.  Let us know if you feel differently, and why. No one reads this bit, I've realised we can say what we like h...

Did you ever stop and think, 'I wonder what Joe and Conal think about Abbey Road'. Well listener you are in luck because today we discuss The Beatles' album from start to finish.  We learn that Bukake may have originated in Liverpool, John buys his beds at Harrods and Conal knows a Mr. Mustard.  So if you are into that idea give it a listen. Support the show

Someone told me it's all happening at the zoo... Wrong!  It's all happening at the Book of Nowt podcast; where we unlock the cage door of truth only to be mauled to death by that we were setting free.  It's a classic episode today in which Joe gets haughty and Conal gets base, but don't you dare call us formulaic! There are stories about every decent animal going: tigers, lions...

AAAARRRRRGHHHHGGHHHHH!!!!!!!! WHAT A RUSHHHHH!!!!! This week, The Book of Nowt take a deep look at everything Pro Wrestling. From the dizzy heights of the top ropes to the murky bottom that is British Wrestling. The boys unearth facts about the hall of fame, long forgotten rules and the mystery behind the Montreal Screwjob Visit bookofnowt.com to keep the party going We’ll be back next week with m...

I vont to dreenk yoar blurd!!! Happy Halloween everyone. The Book of Nowt is back with a blisteringly funny new podcast all about Eastern Europe’s greatest undead member of the landed gentry.  It’s great to be back as we forgot just how funny we are. Conal has an important announcement, and Joe just bring the big laughs.  Visit bookofnowt.com to keep the party going We’ll be back next week with mo...

Tattoos creeped up on the mainstream didn't they? Once festooned upon the perennial outlier, loads of grandmas have them now. That's fine by us, it's the terrible ones we're really concentrating on here. Conal tells us how he stupidly gave himself a tattoo. Joe gets annoyed again. He can't help it. He gets nervous around you. It;s the last one in the season, so make the mo...